my bed sheet is upside down and all I ever do is frown
my hands crack like dirt in a painstaking drought
the rain keeps on falling but it never hits the ground
my wrists act like a bridge from the dry land to the sea
the sea is big & bold & proud but I'm still afraid I'll drown
there are rocks upon my shoulders that pull them to the sky
my head is tilted to the left and everything feels wrong
my hair sits upon my neck and it catches what's inside
I won't close my eyes cause the darkness is too bright
if I can't hear every last sound I will never be calmed down
my throat is always dry from choking on my words
my collarbones went missing back in 2013
I found them back in June but all they ever do is ache
as the smoke fills my lungs it scares away the bugs
my heart is skipping every beat and it never takes a break
my stomach always churns but no pain ever feels the same
my hips can move with ease but hide inside their shirt
my legs are filled with sand and I want to clean them out
my knees are always tight as they knock across the ground
my ankles are slowly separating and cannot stay the same
my feet are made of sponges and cannot be exposed
I try to keep them covered but I feel trapped inside my socks
my body aches & shakes & screams
it's always talking right to me
but it's really good at lying while I turn from side to side
my skin is tangled up in thoughts
and there's a rats nest in my mind
Oct 26, 2020
Oct 26, 2020 at 7:52 PM UTC
I'm afraid of my own hands
I cannot trust them
because I know were they've been
and it is hard to wash away the past
I try to hide them and keep them as far away from me as possible
to protect myself from them
but these are the hands that feed me
and bathe me
and touch me
I have to trust them but I can't
I'm afraid of my own hands
Jun 19, 2020
Jun 19, 2020 at 2:38 PM UTC
I watched the hostas grow
as spring turned from the snow
I know that time has passed
but where did it go?
does it stroll past each day,
returning again and again
or does it change in speed
and move with the wind?
each day feels long and dull and lonely
but new leaves appear still, slowly
I thought that I would grow
during these days spent all alone.
but the hostas are far ahead of me
I'm glad I have more time to grow
Jun 7, 2020
Jun 7, 2020 at 6:16 PM UTC
i love the silence of a snowy winter night
where all you can hear is your breath and the crunch of the snow beneath your feet
the moon is in libra but tonight her beauty is covered by thick grey clouds
but still she is there
May 2, 2020
May 2, 2020 at 1:19 PM UTC
am I the birds in the sky or the dew on the grass
am I the wind in the leaves or the mud on your shoes
am I the thistles in your garden or a prairie on a hill
am I the paws of a kitten or the gills of a fish
am I every person that's ever lived or no one at all
am I anger, am I joy, am I suffering, am I love
am I nothing or am I everything or something in between
am I me?
May 2, 2020
May 2, 2020 at 12:50 PM UTC
inside her there's a rumble, not a fire or a tornado
but a rumble that keeps her moving
but its soft and slow and is sometimes mistaken for stillness
but even when she is still I feel the pebbles rolling across the ground
she levitates above is all
but her roots connect thousands of acres
she knows everyone
she feels everyone
she hears everyone
but sometimes she gets lost in her own rumble and cannot hear herself
Feb 28, 2020
Feb 28, 2020 at 1:48 AM UTC
her eyes look so deeply into mine, I can feel the warm burn even when she's gone
I know she sees my soul and feels it
DEEP
inside
we can talk without speaking
we can feel without touching
we can know without seeing
every ounce of her is filled with the purist beauty I've ever known
she spins around my mind like a planet and makes me dizzy with lust
she is the moon, venus and all the stars and I will always be in awe
Feb 28, 2020
Feb 28, 2020 at 1:48 AM UTC
one day someone will love me the way I love them
I loved you so deeply and tried to show you with everything I am. I trusted you and let you know every inch of my soul and every secret in my heart.
But you do not love me back.
And I am sad.
Really, I'm heartbroken and I miss you.
I don't want to lose you.
But I can't continue to love you or I'll lose you.
How do you get over a love as deep as this? I have never felt this way before. This all-encompassing love. I want nothing more than to kiss you and run my fingers through your hair.
But you do not love me back. And no amount of hair dye or sad songs will change that. I can cry to 100 romantic movies and wish for love but it will not change a thing.
One day I will run out of tears to cry. But I don't know if I can ever look into your eyes again. Because I can't see you and not love you. You are everything to me.
My heart is broken and I don't know what to do.
I haven't felt a love this strong before and god I just want you.
Feb 28, 2020
Feb 28, 2020 at 1:46 AM UTC
i can feel my heart breaking and there is nothing i want more than you
Feb 5, 2020
Feb 5, 2020 at 4:44 PM UTC
am I the birds in the sky or the dew on the grass
am I the wind in the leaves or the mud on your shoes
am I the thistles in your garden or a prairie on a hill
am I the paws of a kitten or the gills of a fish
am I every person that's ever lived or no one at all
am I anger, am I joy, am I suffering, am I love
am I nothing or am I everything or something in between
am I me?
Jan 17, 2020
Jan 17, 2020 at 8:06 PM UTC