You always spoke of making love
but only used me for a fuck
Like a bad dream you held me
My spine still clicking to the rhythm of your teeth
as you ever so gently wrapped your arms around me
You only spoke of making love
but it never happened, not once.
I only felt flame
but never fire underneath.
You only burned me,
always left me freezing.
Feb 24, 2016
Feb 24, 2016 at 3:43 PM UTC
Self-Portrait
I am disaster.
I am the heavy rain crashing against your window and disturbing your peaceful sleep. I am the overwhelming snowstorm, and I'm every car wreck that it has caused. I am the phone call from the hospital asking you to identify a missing child. I am the empty funeral home at the wake. I am the tombstone with no name. I am the finger down the throat. I am the razor against the wrist. I am the butterfly, but only after it's wings are clipped. I am not holy, I am sin. I'm never the beautiful sunrise in the morning.
*I am every ******* lonely 3 A.M.*
Feb 8, 2016
Feb 8, 2016 at 6:39 PM UTC
I'm not addicted to the substance
Don't care for the high or low
I'm not addicted to the poison
I just need to feel that blow...
I'm not addicted to the toxins
I just need to feel your lips
I don't care about the alcohol
Just my hands laid on your hips.
You only want me in the nighttime
Well darling, that's just fine
We only need another bottle
I'll drink it if it makes you mine
You never want me when you're sober
Well darling, that's okay
I'll love you even when it's over
I'll love you when you walk away.
*I'll love you when you walk away.
I'll love you still the next day.*
Feb 8, 2016
Feb 8, 2016 at 6:23 PM UTC
*You gave a mouthful of forever,
but only showed days.*
Feb 6, 2016
Feb 6, 2016 at 10:28 PM UTC
How do I tell you that you're my first thought in the morning?
How do I tell you that you're my every single dream?
How do I tell you that your stupid smirk makes my heart race?
How do I tell you when you speak of them how much I want to scream?
How do I show you that I could be better?
How do I make you see that I'm all you really need?
How do I make you understand that if you just gave me your hand you'd never have to worry about a single thing?
But I'll just keep standing by
I'll just keep wishing.
Sep 15, 2014
Sep 15, 2014 at 3:06 AM UTC
Hell is
staring in your eyes and instantly missing you
Hell is
looking at your lips and wanting to kiss you
Hell is
holding you closely and having to let go
Hell is
wanting to tell you but never letting you know
Hell is
butterflies in my stomach when your hands brush against mine
Hell is
wanting to hold them for the rest of time
Hell is
knowing that someday I'll have to let go
Hell is
constantly having to put on a show
Hell is
the hurt I feel deep in my bones
Hell is
loving you in my sleep and waking up alone.
Sep 14, 2014
Sep 14, 2014 at 8:04 PM UTC
Dear You,
I hope your day is wonderful. I want all of your days to be wonderful. I want you to wake up and smell roses, or dance in the rain, or be able to look in the mirror and just smile. I want you to know that someday you will make someone so incredibly happy, and that you'll be their whole world. I want you to know that you are incredible. You're perfectly imperfect. You're so special.
I want you to know that you're my happiness. And I know that we are just friends and that I shouldn't feel the way that I feel because you couldn't feel the way that I feel and it isn't fair for me to even think that we could be anything other than friends, but I think about you all the time. I dream about you every night. You're the first thought when I wake up in the morning, and you're the my final prayer every evening.
I want you to know that I am completely aware that this could never be anything at all. You aren't interested, and it has nothing to do with me but with my gender. No matter how many drunken nights you say otherwise, you will wake up sober and only want a woman. And I want you to want me all the time.
I want you to know that I'm okay with that, because there is absolutely nothing else I can do. I can't change who I am to please you, and I would never want to anyway. I want you for who you are, and I want you all the time.
I want you to know that I would love you unconditionally, that I would give the world to you, all wrapped in a little bow if it would make you smile- God, I love your smile.
I want you to know that in this whole wide world there are 7 billion people, and each and every individual is beautiful in their own unique way. In this world there are 7 billion different faces with different personalities, all of which will fall in love, smile, fall out of love, hurt, and fall in love with a different person all over again.
I want you to know that within those 7 billion people there is only one you, and you are perfectly imperfect. You are the only person I want. I could spend the rest of my days looking at your face and that would be okay. I don't need an incredible life with fame and fortune, because having you would be the most fortunate thing.
And I want you to know that even though you'll never want me, you are all I've ever wanted.
Sep 11, 2014
Sep 11, 2014 at 9:52 PM UTC
I think I'm lost again
I know exactly where you've been
I've been trying hard to reach you
I know exactly where this ends
The cat says through the forest
So I've traveled through the trees
It seems you've gotten further
Please just wait a bit for me
I want to say I love you
Have I lost my little head?
I want to hold you close to me
Holding on by just a thread
I came to say I miss you
Though you're not so far away
I came out here to kiss you
Though I know just what you'll say
But if you kiss me back;
The thought brings a tear to my eye
Maybe I'm just going mad
Out here in Wonderland where dreams die.
Sep 8, 2014
Sep 8, 2014 at 9:57 AM UTC
I'm not addicted to the substance
I don't really care about the high or the low
I'm addicted to the morning after
I'm addicted to being able to tell you exactly how I feel
and to take it all away the next day
I'm addicted to "I'm sorry, I was so ****** up."
I'm addicted to "It's okay."
Because I'll never be enough.
I'm addicted to the aftertaste of our drunken kiss
I'm addicted to forgetting how you pushed me from your lips
I don't care for lightheaded feelings
I get enough from you
I don't need the acid rising up
but you hold me when I do
I don't need the ****** parties
The kids all passed out on the floor
I'm addicted to sobering up
I'm addicted to needing you more.
Sep 6, 2014
Sep 6, 2014 at 12:42 AM UTC