eipi - Hello Poetry

You have a smell That I try to put myself inside. Wear it like I wear your t-shirts When I've given up on fumbling for my own in the darkness. I like that in bed I can see your face illuminated by a scurvy-ridden moon. I have to bite my lips and yours to keep prenatal words in, sometimes. I wonder how big a part of my life you'll have been once you're no longer a part of it. Maybe I love you, or maybe you just smell safe.

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Dec 20, 2019

Dec 20, 2019 at 4:29 PM UTC

Balance

You have a smell That I try to put myself inside. Wear it like I wear your t-shirts When I've given up on fumbling for my own in the darkness. I like that in bed I can see your face illuminated by a scurvy-ridden moon. I have to bite my lips and yours to keep prenatal words in, sometimes. I wonder how big a part of my life you'll have been once you're no longer a part of it. Maybe I love you, or maybe you just smell safe.

15

I've grown aware that my brain is tuned incorrectly. The antenna that detects frequencies (art, truth, and death turn things to marble) of screams and whispers and noise sticks out obscenely. Pornographically. Sometimes I give in to it and thread myself along its wires, intertwining with the sharp ambiance. My heart beats faster An unholy fusion And I contract, deliciously, Undulating with the compressions in the air. They light up the silent ******** scream coursing through my veins. Would he have liked it here? Or would he have sat Unobtrusively, as I do now and longed to feel the surf lap against his toes?

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Dec 20, 2019

Dec 20, 2019 at 4:22 PM UTC

Father

I've grown aware that my brain is tuned incorrectly. The antenna that detects frequencies (art, truth, and death turn things to marble) of screams and whispers and noise sticks out obscenely. Pornographically. Sometimes I give in to it and thread myself along its wires, intertwining with the sharp ambiance. My heart beats faster An unholy fusion And I contract, deliciously, Undulating with the compressions in the air. They light up the silent ******** scream coursing through my veins. Would he have liked it here? Or would he have sat Unobtrusively, as I do now and longed to feel the surf lap against his toes?

19

I miss myself. She was good, and kind, and Purposeful. She was not a train speeding along on a track, Wind whistling by, Eyes watering and half closed. She walked alongside it, Marveling at the cars Passing by. Now, she is reduced to The lethargy that creeps into her veins And ties her to the car.

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Dec 20, 2019

Dec 20, 2019 at 4:12 PM UTC

Control

I miss myself. She was good, and kind, and Purposeful. She was not a train speeding along on a track, Wind whistling by, Eyes watering and half closed. She walked alongside it, Marveling at the cars Passing by. Now, she is reduced to The lethargy that creeps into her veins And ties her to the car.

12

Wake up, head pounding, throat on fire; the air's too bright. Check where you are, check what is on you --clothing or otherwise-- hands croak for water, trembling weakly; bottles of liquor, open at random; pick your way through the jungle of clothing; single shoes scattered. A book, earmarked maybe, from another life.

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Dec 20, 2019

Dec 20, 2019 at 4:08 PM UTC

Morning

Wake up, head pounding, throat on fire; the air's too bright. Check where you are, check what is on you --clothing or otherwise-- hands croak for water, trembling weakly; bottles of liquor, open at random; pick your way through the jungle of clothing; single shoes scattered. A book, earmarked maybe, from another life.

11

What does it mean if After we’re together, when I go into the bathroom to *** (because I don’t want to leave for a second when we’re together) And I look in the mirror, And there are indents-- Lines, even, on my face-- Crescent moons framing my mouth From smiling, Complementing the dark crescents under my eyes From staying up so late to be together. Just to Be. Together. ?

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Dec 20, 2019

Dec 20, 2019 at 2:41 PM UTC

Sleepless

What does it mean if After we’re together, when I go into the bathroom to *** (because I don’t want to leave for a second when we’re together) And I look in the mirror, And there are indents-- Lines, even, on my face-- Crescent moons framing my mouth From smiling, Complementing the dark crescents under my eyes From staying up so late to be together. Just to Be. Together. ?

15

He plays for himself, and For the Danube. Alone, on a field of stairs He sits with brass on his lips In the purgatorial wilderness between The roiling streets and the Roiling water. He can touch neither, and He is both. The sound does not carry. Why is he on the edge? Why on The seventh step? Why here? Why Now? Who used to sit beside him? For whom did he used to play?

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Dec 20, 2019

Dec 20, 2019 at 2:37 PM UTC

Budapest

He plays for himself, and For the Danube. Alone, on a field of stairs He sits with brass on his lips In the purgatorial wilderness between The roiling streets and the Roiling water. He can touch neither, and He is both. The sound does not carry. Why is he on the edge? Why on The seventh step? Why here? Why Now? Who used to sit beside him? For whom did he used to play?

13

Opulent, Decadent, Almost vicelike. The people grovel, Teeming among the city that sinks Under the weight of its own Infestation of the self. The glass reflects the leering eyes of the masses. The stench of the water rises, Cloying. Languid in obscenity The shadows rot, unseen. A graveyard of moorings past. A woman falls. We crowd around, Vultures Jockeying for view. Guitar strings vibrate in the square The sun beats down. It was beautiful here, Once.

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Dec 20, 2019

Dec 20, 2019 at 2:36 PM UTC

Venice

Opulent, Decadent, Almost vicelike. The people grovel, Teeming among the city that sinks Under the weight of its own Infestation of the self. The glass reflects the leering eyes of the masses. The stench of the water rises, Cloying. Languid in obscenity The shadows rot, unseen. A graveyard of moorings past. A woman falls. We crowd around, Vultures Jockeying for view. Guitar strings vibrate in the square The sun beats down. It was beautiful here, Once.

21

Thief. Lying side by side, Artfully not touching, Breathing far quieter than natural inhale exhale. Precision. You stole my delirious delicious nighttime fantasies. They were all of you.

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Dec 20, 2019

Dec 20, 2019 at 2:30 PM UTC

Fight

Thief. Lying side by side, Artfully not touching, Breathing far quieter than natural inhale exhale. Precision. You stole my delirious delicious nighttime fantasies. They were all of you.

6

Too-salty margaritas (I knew we shouldn’t have gotten extra coarse salt). The red gummy melting into my blood, Our blood. Walking over the fountain That you don’t remember walking in Because you were blacked out. Watching you watch me, Chin cradled in your hand, Grinning a little. Pretending like I don’t like it (I can’t help it), but biting my lip and smiling a little in that way I know you like. Kissing you and melting into your chest and arms and legs. God has invented gloriously cruel prisons for us.

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Dec 20, 2019

Dec 20, 2019 at 2:28 PM UTC

Locked

Too-salty margaritas (I knew we shouldn’t have gotten extra coarse salt). The red gummy melting into my blood, Our blood. Walking over the fountain That you don’t remember walking in Because you were blacked out. Watching you watch me, Chin cradled in your hand, Grinning a little. Pretending like I don’t like it (I can’t help it), but biting my lip and smiling a little in that way I know you like. Kissing you and melting into your chest and arms and legs. God has invented gloriously cruel prisons for us.

11

Lying here the world seemed very full and suddenly it collapsed. Just bounced, quickly, in and out. And back again. Am I alone? Did I win? Am I breathing? Yes, yes, and yes.

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Dec 20, 2019

Dec 20, 2019 at 2:16 PM UTC

Adjacencies

Lying here the world seemed very full and suddenly it collapsed. Just bounced, quickly, in and out. And back again. Am I alone? Did I win? Am I breathing? Yes, yes, and yes.

8