eileen-mcgreevy
Irish
I am divorced with three children. I have had a horrid upbringing (living in Belfast in the seventies) and i try to derive from that, but most of my work is quite cheerful, and sometimes erotic, i play guitar, and my favourite poets include Yeats, Chaucer, Seamus Heaney, Robert frost I am currently in the process of going through a huge transision in my life, so i may not always be here, but i will try.
Byron couldn't get home quick enough to get a drink, so much so, he stopped at a wine bar not far from the hospital and swallowed two large jack daniels.
He felt sick to his stomach when he saw Holly, standing there in all her beauty, looking every inch the throw back of his very own Megan.
Every nerve in his body felt like electric, his first instinct was to run, far away, perhaps back to Leeds where her ghost cant be seen.He started thinking he'd had a vision or something , too much alcohol and strip clubs for one lifetime.
After a hot shower and a few more Jacks, Byron began to see things clearer. He was more focused now. He clicked open his laptop, typed in "Beautiful Words", and began reading. He read for hours, all the poetry by Maiden,the same Maiden he'd thought about, the same Maiden he'd envisioned with red hair, ample ******* and an innocence about her, like Megan.Jake was gonna have a hard time explaining this one to Byron !!, "Let's see what you're worth now, buddy!!"
Thinking back to earlier, Holly didnt flinch when she saw his face, his scarred and mishapen face."Well now" thought Byron," perhaps life is worth living after all".......
Feb 27, 2011
Feb 27, 2011 at 4:40 AM UTC
The date, time and weather didn't matter,
The amount of letters delivered that morning was a blip,
One minute it was just me,
Then, it was me and you.
POW! Just like that,
And all of a sudden, it felt like i'd never lived,
I mean, not really lived,
Until you crept into my heart,
And kick started it.
How the hell was i survivng before?,
Existing, that's it, just,
Breathing in and out,
Being carried along with all the others,
Monotonous, Pidgeon-like, lemings.......
Feb 12, 2011
Feb 12, 2011 at 10:02 AM UTC
When people say "You've made yer bed, so lie in it",
Well, i like my bed,
And i like the way i've made it.
So i'm gonna lie in it, on it, and with it,
Ok, it may have taken a few times to make it properly,
God knows,
I've laid in some messy beds in my time,
Haven't we all like?,
But this bed?,
And the prospect of lying in it?
Forever?,
Gives me goosebumps,
So, i guess i'd better pull the covers over me then!!!!
Feb 8, 2011
Feb 8, 2011 at 10:06 AM UTC
It's a must, we need to talk,
Can you get into it now?
Your work, you're neglecting it,
Can you get into it now?,
The pain, the hurt you're feeling today,
Can you get over it now?,
This springtime walk, that hedge row,
Can you get over it now?
Little trixybells balloon, she's four now,
Can you blow it up now?
That ticking bomb inside your head,
It's holding you back,
Can you blow it up now??
Please, for me?
Feb 7, 2011
Feb 7, 2011 at 8:28 AM UTC
While Jake was nursing his broken head, Byron was nursing his broken heart.The journey to the hospital was a silent and tense one."Why Jake?", Byron almost laughed at the sight of his friend as he turned to face him, blood all caked to his head, Jake was always a ***** when it came to physical pain. "She swore me to secrecy buddy, she was going to tell you when the cottage was finished. It was a fluke, i saw her at the hospital and she *had to tell me".
A sudden pang of guilt hit Byron, as he looked at the gaping wound on Jakes head. Now, every time he would see the scar, he would remember how it got there. Being a shrink at the hospital had its perks, enabling the two disshevelled men to bypass reception and straight to triage.Byron was beginning to wish he'd brought his laptop with him, he was so bored to the point where he actually contemplated going home."YES, at last", "Jesus bud we've only been here half an hour".
After much deliberation, Byron finally made it home. He headed straight for his laptop. A strange and curious thing to do. Still stained literally from blood sweat and tears. *Ping, a dozen messages on Beautiful Words. Some from his good friends on there,Vampyric, Jester, Lady Luck and, "Yes", Maiden."Dearest Phantom, its been a few days and i know you're uneasy, i can sense it somehow, i meant it when i said i was here for you, feel free to contact me on here, or by email.Kind regards, Maidenx" Byron found his thoughts wandering towards Holly, Maiden, such a sweet, girly name. He began to wonder what she looked like, blonde?, brunette maybe?.
He started writing, writing a poem, for Maiden, he found himself imagining her with pale skin, soft burlesque curves, and, red hair! Real fiery, Megan red, he could feel that little knot at the pit of his stomach, that age old electric shock, the one that felt so good, yet carried with it a sense of dread. A seed opening up, pupating slowly, like a butterfly, eventually becoming a million butterflies,...........
Feb 6, 2011
Feb 6, 2011 at 6:39 AM UTC
The alarm stole Byron from his sleep at 5.30 am, a mere 2 hours after stumbling in from one of his so-called little drinks with Jake. Looking down at himself, he'd noticed he hadn't even managed to undress, and , the lack of boxers and an open fly, told him he'd had *** A pink stamp on his hand, and a faint smell of perfume confirmed his suspected visit to the strip club he visited in the early days with Jake. Before Megan, obviously, but also afterwards, when the anger took hold, sometimes he would stay for hours on end, just soaking up the *** drink, beautiful girls, telling his story to anyone who'd listen.
Strong painkillers and a full english breakfast saved him from the brink, so much so, he decided to log on, see what was happening on Beautiful Words.Various feed back comments, the usual slight flirtations from some of the female writers, and 7 messages from maiden. He typed in the search for poems and his latest batch were a big hit. "Phantom has 7 new messages from Maiden".(My Torment) had 14 reactions,(she is gone) and ( Megan) was gathering quite an audience, and Holly was slowly realising the pain in these pieces, real, solid pain.So much so, she joined the group. Byron scolled down to the last message from Maiden. "Dearest Phantom, i feel so much empathy for you and your current situation. Please feel free to talk with me any time you want".Byron wondered if she'd still be as interested if she could see his scars, if she knew he had blindness in one eye, a scar running down the whole of his right ****** area, down to his collar bone.
"Jesus! Aw Jesus!. Byron grabbed his mobile and practically punched in Jakes number, he'd remembered something form the night before. He dared not go there, not without confirmation from Jake, ring ring ring ring "Answer the ******* phone, you divvy!!!!!". The reciever clicked,"Jake, Jake, get your ******* *** over here! NOW!!".Jake knew what he had coming." Just don't shoot the messenger mann". Shoot the messenger?, shoot the ******* messenger?, byron was likely to beat the messenger to death with a beer bottle.
The next 20 minutes was a blur, starting with some brandy, followed by a few smashed plates, an accidental smashing of Megans picture, and some sobbing.Turning the door handle, very very slowly, Jake crept through the door, taking in the deluge. Byron was sitting on the floor, exhausted and crying. "Look pal, she swore me to secrecy, **** it up. It's done! "Ah , **** it up!, that's your advise," Byron felt the blood rise in him, his temple veins were bulging," **** it up, my fiance was pregnant, you knew, you **** and you want me to **** IT UP!!".
A glass flew in the direction of Jakes head, connecting perfectly, causing him to run for the kitchen, "You said you wouldn't **** the messenger", "Agreed BUDDY" Bryon said sarcastically, "But i didn't say i wouldn't kick 40 shades of **** outta ya!". Byron caught up with Jake and connected a punch, right in the sternom, enough to tear a huge grunt from him, doubling him over. Jake stumbled to the floor of the hall, half running, half dragging his feet. A few more smacks round the head and an airborn candle stick was all it took for Jake to finally plead enough already. The lifelong friends lay on the plush hall carpet, Byron wondering how the hell they would get past this, Jake wondering how many stitches he needed, and if that fit blonde chick was free tonight for a lap dance, and some ***
Feb 3, 2011
Feb 3, 2011 at 9:57 AM UTC
Seering pain at the back of his throat, he could just make her out through the haze."Megan",Byron wondered if she could hear him, taking a deep breath, he held his arm over his face. He made a bee line straight for Megan, noticing her hand gestures for him to move, never, not without her.
A beam was shooting off sparks in all directions, causing Byron to lose sight for just a second. He felt a crushing pain in his ribs, he fell back trying to steady himself. Then another, and the beam landed between them, exploding into a million fireflies. The heat became unbearable, he was blind, hot, and heart broken."We love you my darling, always"
"And counting back buddy, we go, 10,9,8, and you're slowly coming back, so, 7,6," Byron didn't want to come back, not without her." And 5, Bryon, 4,3, and your eyes are feeling lighter,".He woke to the sense that he'd been crying, his face was wet, he was breathless, and his heart hurt so, so much.
"So, tell me, can you remember why you were clutching your chest buddy?"It all became so clear, it just opened up like a blooming flower, she pushed him! Megan pushed him from the falling beam, causing it to strike her.She, she saved his life!.
Jake sat back in his chair with his hands behind his head and sighed, his job was done. "I love my job", grinning like a cat that got the cream."Drink?". Byron sat up and pursed his face with his hands."Why don't i feel better man?", something was bugging him. Jake stood up and helped Bryon to his feet. "Let's go get that drink buddy, then i'll complete the puzzle for you, you're ready".......
Feb 1, 2011
Feb 1, 2011 at 8:11 AM UTC
Landing at Belfast International Airport always made Byron feel better, but nowhere near the way he used to feel when Megan was alive. He was glad for the busy workload ahead of him, a very welcome distraction.
The latest nightmare revealed more to him than usual, which, according to his phsychiatrist, was a good thing. Climbing into a cab, Byron opened his laptop and immediately noticed the little envelope at the top of the screen. Messages from the site. Beautiful Words was a luxury, especially since adding his new friend, pen name Maiden, real name, Holly.
Byron could be a normal person on the site, no disfigurements, no judgement, and nobody would ever know about the fire, his failure to save his Megan.Of course, people could read between the lines but that was unlikely.
The message from Holly read "Dearest Phantom, i was so moved by your latest poem..." It went on to state her amazement at Byrons last name, Lorde. " is it really true? so, your name is lord Byron in reverse?" Byron felt a little flutter of excitement at the thought of someone noticing his name, for the first time,.
Byrons mother was a lover of poetry, especially romantic poets, hence his name.The opportunity was irresistable , her name being Lorde.Megans grandfather would poke fun at Byron, saying he was lucky his mother didn't like Edgar Allen Poe.
He almost replied immediately but noticed he'd reached his destination, shutting the laptop, promising himself to pay more attention to beautiful Words, Holly, Jester, and the rest of the crowd.
Byrons shrink was moonlighting at the local hospital, community work made him feel more human, less robot-like."Well well well," Byron and jake were friends from way back, even before Megan.After the fire,Byron would surely have given up, had it not been for Jake.He poured them both a mineral water while Byron made himself comfy, he knew the drill. The age old cliche, lay down on the couch, close your eyes, "Count backwards from 10, slowly drifting off the closer you get to 1,".
Byron could smell the smoke, taste the charcoal at the back of his throat. He could see her, more clearly than before....
Jan 27, 2011
Jan 27, 2011 at 11:32 AM UTC
The flames were so high, Byron was fighting hard against them, to no avail."Megan"!,"Megan"!, screaming her name, he felt engulfed, and light headed.A thousand thoughts raced through his head, panic, seering pain with every breath he took, call an ambulance, Megan,s screams cut through him like lasers, she was trapped, scared, how must she be feeling right now?
Wood crackled, metal creaked, echos, lights, sirens!
Byron jumped, bolt upright in bed,"O **** SHIT",another nightmare, each one bringing his memory closer to what happened in their cottage they had built together.
Byron was working from Leeds, commuting to Killough, his favourite village in Ireland, well, it had to be, it's where he and Megan had met. He'd planned to run the architecture business from home.HA!, home, where was that?, he wasn't sure anymore.
As Byron strolled into the bathroom, turning on the shower he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror.Almost forgetting the scars he had aquired from the fire, those visible reminders that his electrician was skimming from the funds, cutting corners, greedy little ******* The sight was gone from his right eye, and his face bore severe scarring right down to the collar bone. A small price to pay, at least he made it out alive.
He made a mental note to get back to Killough, this very night, to see Megans grave.He'd settle for anything, any reminder of Megan, she was slipping away from him, he couldn't have that, ever...another reason for moving to Killough.
Jan 23, 2011
Jan 23, 2011 at 7:11 AM UTC
I thought i was the chosen one,
The feeling was amazing,
But i fell for a frozen one,
His heart drives me crazy,
He'll let me in,but just a bit,
Then pull away, and make me cry,
He'll tease with words of marriage,
Then disappear, and say goodbye,
A veil of black and lonely cloth,
Imprisons him, but we both know,
He's strong enough to rip it up,
Instead he chooses to let me go
Dec 21, 2010
Dec 21, 2010 at 1:46 AM UTC