effy-royle - Hello Poetry

Aries: We are walking in the forest. You are slightly in front of me and talking about your favorite tv show. You ask a question, I can tell because the end of your sentence raises. I apologize for not paying attention, you say it doesn’t matter and that it was a dumb question to begin with. I know you’re upset, but then again, we are breaking each other’s heart while trying to keep the other one alive. Our heart beats sync into one and I wonder if this is heaven on earth. Taurus: It is nearly October and although the leaves have not all fallen, we are playing in piles of orange and brown. You are laughing about a distant memory of your dad that has somehow made you forget all the bad he has caused. I grab your hand, which makes you stop mid-sentence. You start rubbing my palm with your thumb, you draw a heart then close my hand. We were never the type to have completely comfortable silence, but at that moment I believe silence is the only thing that feels right. Gemini: I am ringing your doorbell on a spring day during grade 12. You told me to come over before you left to go back west. I love seeing you smile and it is the first time it has been genuine in years. You finally answer the door and greet me with a hug that felt like it could take away all my problems. I have often wondered what it would be like to be yours but then again, you have always been mine. Cancer: We are talking about a future neither of us are well enough to live until. I often hope you will outlive me, because it will be hard to explain to everyone why my happiness fled post-mortem. The sun is almost rising and it is now that we realize how much we will miss the other. There are still broken plates from the night before and we try to sweep them up as well as our half eaten hearts or maybe bagels. We have each other but that does not always mean we are there for each other. Leo: Christmas was never either of our favorite holidays, which gives our families another reason to call us the black sheep. We are driving down a wooded road and your hand is on my knee. I turn down the radio where some classic rock song is playing a guitar riff that reminds me of your dad. I open my mouth to say something about how much I wish we were happier but then I remember that bringing those things up will only make you more upset. Maybe this is the year that Christmas is no longer blue. Virgo: We are sitting across the table in your dad’s condo while drinking some form of mixed drink we didn’t bother to name. It is super bowl Sunday and your father is making himself a sandwich. He’s been living alone for quite some time now and I can tell it hurts you to see him lonely. I am watching you, watch him and it makes me smile. I realize that although we are alone, we are alone together. Libra: We are sitting in your childhood treehouse when it starts to rain. I am tugging at my own sleeves wondering if I am still able to feel my own body warmth. It is Thanksgiving break and our hometown seems like something out of a young adult novel that became a movie. I want to tell you that I missed you but soon the drugs will take effect and then I’ll be able to blame my feelings on that. Our high makes our heads fall on each other which causes you to fall asleep. Your breaths slow and you start making sleep noises that remind me of Saturday morning cartoons. Your hair tickles my neck and it is then that I realize, this is love. Scorpio: There are raindrops on your shirt as you walk in our favorite coffee shop to meet me. You’re wearing a slouchy beanie that makes you look like an indie rock musician. I smile and wave from across the room, hoping you won’t notice my tear stained cheeks. You take a seat across from me and I start wondering if you are running late on purpose or if you really did lose track of time. You ask me how I have been and I the same, but it is different. Not forced, per say, but more so it seems like having small talk with me has become a chore. I look back at my overdue essay, the cursor is taunting me and you alike. We spend the rest of our date in silence, minus the occasional sips of Chai and keyboard clicks. Sagittarius: You call me well before sunrise yet it is still late. You are sobbing quietly and of course I ask what happened. You explain to me how life does not seem worth living more than usual tonight and how better off everyone would be without you. We continue to talk up to sunrise and it is then that we can finally say goodnight or I guess good morning. I let you hang up first because I know how easily your heart gets broken. I want to tell you how I wish I could’ve held you or even held you longer but it is too late. We are across the country in apartments so similar it’s scary. I wish knowing people loved you from 2000 miles away was enough for you to stay alive, but we were never that black and white. Capricorn: We are driving down a country road where your grandfather used to take you. You take a turn too fast and dirt spirals up, blocking my line of vision. You laugh as though death was on either of agendas. I have always loved your laugh and nothing, not even the fact that you are leaving in two weeks, could take that away. I want to tell you about my classes and new friends but I know that will cause the weird jealousy that overtakes you during the fall months. You have always been my favorite color and I am terrified of running out of paint because you are so rare. I love the freckles in your eyes and the way you sometimes elongate my name as if in tune to a nursery rhyme. As the sun sets I am reminded that this was never a reality just a more truthful fallacy. Aquarius: It is a rainy April night and we are listening to cars pass over the wet street, both of our favorite soundtracks. You are watching a cat run into the alleyway across from your apartment. I get up off the grey ottoman that separates the living room and kitchen. When you first moved here, you were scared of the vastness that a loft provides but you said with me there it felt more like a home. I am reminded of this everytime I see you with someone new, which seems unfair to you but then again it is me that you are hurting. I put on another kettle to make more tea although neither of us enjoy the taste. You are watching me now and I can tell you want to say something but decide against it last minute. I want to ask you what you’re thinking but I already know the answer. After half drank tea cups dictate your coffee table, we reside to our respected places in your unmade bed. You take my hand in yours and place it on your heart; it is then that I realize you were made for me yet I was not for you. Pisces: I am drawing shapes on your back as you drift off into light sleep, only waking up to describe new ideas for movies neither of us are motivated enough to make. You sit up abruptly and run your fingers through your unwashed hair. You check the time and say we should get going. We are meeting your family for a dinner, most likely with a discussion we won’t be prepared to have. I fix your tie, it’s the one your father let you borrow for your great uncle’s funeral last fall. You give yourself a thumbs up in the bathroom mirror which makes me laugh. I can tell you are nervous by the way you’re chewing your bottom lip. Taking your hand, I reassure you that we are real and this is real. On our way to your childhood home, I can’t help but think we are each other’s missing piece.

0

Aug 23, 2017

Aug 23, 2017 at 5:16 PM UTC

flash fiction for the signs

Aries: We are walking in the forest. You are slightly in front of me and talking about your favorite tv show. You ask a question, I can tell because the end of your sentence raises. I apologize for not paying attention, you say it doesn’t matter and that it was a dumb question to begin with. I know you’re upset, but then again, we are breaking each other’s heart while trying to keep the other one alive. Our heart beats sync into one and I wonder if this is heaven on earth. Taurus: It is nearly October and although the leaves have not all fallen, we are playing in piles of orange and brown. You are laughing about a distant memory of your dad that has somehow made you forget all the bad he has caused. I grab your hand, which makes you stop mid-sentence. You start rubbing my palm with your thumb, you draw a heart then close my hand. We were never the type to have completely comfortable silence, but at that moment I believe silence is the only thing that feels right. Gemini: I am ringing your doorbell on a spring day during grade 12. You told me to come over before you left to go back west. I love seeing you smile and it is the first time it has been genuine in years. You finally answer the door and greet me with a hug that felt like it could take away all my problems. I have often wondered what it would be like to be yours but then again, you have always been mine. Cancer: We are talking about a future neither of us are well enough to live until. I often hope you will outlive me, because it will be hard to explain to everyone why my happiness fled post-mortem. The sun is almost rising and it is now that we realize how much we will miss the other. There are still broken plates from the night before and we try to sweep them up as well as our half eaten hearts or maybe bagels. We have each other but that does not always mean we are there for each other. Leo: Christmas was never either of our favorite holidays, which gives our families another reason to call us the black sheep. We are driving down a wooded road and your hand is on my knee. I turn down the radio where some classic rock song is playing a guitar riff that reminds me of your dad. I open my mouth to say something about how much I wish we were happier but then I remember that bringing those things up will only make you more upset. Maybe this is the year that Christmas is no longer blue. Virgo: We are sitting across the table in your dad’s condo while drinking some form of mixed drink we didn’t bother to name. It is super bowl Sunday and your father is making himself a sandwich. He’s been living alone for quite some time now and I can tell it hurts you to see him lonely. I am watching you, watch him and it makes me smile. I realize that although we are alone, we are alone together. Libra: We are sitting in your childhood treehouse when it starts to rain. I am tugging at my own sleeves wondering if I am still able to feel my own body warmth. It is Thanksgiving break and our hometown seems like something out of a young adult novel that became a movie. I want to tell you that I missed you but soon the drugs will take effect and then I’ll be able to blame my feelings on that. Our high makes our heads fall on each other which causes you to fall asleep. Your breaths slow and you start making sleep noises that remind me of Saturday morning cartoons. Your hair tickles my neck and it is then that I realize, this is love. Scorpio: There are raindrops on your shirt as you walk in our favorite coffee shop to meet me. You’re wearing a slouchy beanie that makes you look like an indie rock musician. I smile and wave from across the room, hoping you won’t notice my tear stained cheeks. You take a seat across from me and I start wondering if you are running late on purpose or if you really did lose track of time. You ask me how I have been and I the same, but it is different. Not forced, per say, but more so it seems like having small talk with me has become a chore. I look back at my overdue essay, the cursor is taunting me and you alike. We spend the rest of our date in silence, minus the occasional sips of Chai and keyboard clicks. Sagittarius: You call me well before sunrise yet it is still late. You are sobbing quietly and of course I ask what happened. You explain to me how life does not seem worth living more than usual tonight and how better off everyone would be without you. We continue to talk up to sunrise and it is then that we can finally say goodnight or I guess good morning. I let you hang up first because I know how easily your heart gets broken. I want to tell you how I wish I could’ve held you or even held you longer but it is too late. We are across the country in apartments so similar it’s scary. I wish knowing people loved you from 2000 miles away was enough for you to stay alive, but we were never that black and white. Capricorn: We are driving down a country road where your grandfather used to take you. You take a turn too fast and dirt spirals up, blocking my line of vision. You laugh as though death was on either of agendas. I have always loved your laugh and nothing, not even the fact that you are leaving in two weeks, could take that away. I want to tell you about my classes and new friends but I know that will cause the weird jealousy that overtakes you during the fall months. You have always been my favorite color and I am terrified of running out of paint because you are so rare. I love the freckles in your eyes and the way you sometimes elongate my name as if in tune to a nursery rhyme. As the sun sets I am reminded that this was never a reality just a more truthful fallacy. Aquarius: It is a rainy April night and we are listening to cars pass over the wet street, both of our favorite soundtracks. You are watching a cat run into the alleyway across from your apartment. I get up off the grey ottoman that separates the living room and kitchen. When you first moved here, you were scared of the vastness that a loft provides but you said with me there it felt more like a home. I am reminded of this everytime I see you with someone new, which seems unfair to you but then again it is me that you are hurting. I put on another kettle to make more tea although neither of us enjoy the taste. You are watching me now and I can tell you want to say something but decide against it last minute. I want to ask you what you’re thinking but I already know the answer. After half drank tea cups dictate your coffee table, we reside to our respected places in your unmade bed. You take my hand in yours and place it on your heart; it is then that I realize you were made for me yet I was not for you. Pisces: I am drawing shapes on your back as you drift off into light sleep, only waking up to describe new ideas for movies neither of us are motivated enough to make. You sit up abruptly and run your fingers through your unwashed hair. You check the time and say we should get going. We are meeting your family for a dinner, most likely with a discussion we won’t be prepared to have. I fix your tie, it’s the one your father let you borrow for your great uncle’s funeral last fall. You give yourself a thumbs up in the bathroom mirror which makes me laugh. I can tell you are nervous by the way you’re chewing your bottom lip. Taking your hand, I reassure you that we are real and this is real. On our way to your childhood home, I can’t help but think we are each other’s missing piece.

12

Here I am, the manic pixie dream girl of, you guessed it; your dreams. I am here to ask you questions about your boring, probably something generic, major like business or management or maybe even some type of art form that no one really knew existed until you decided to bring it to your high school and of course the liberal arts school of your dreams has that EXACT program and all the means to support it financially. Of course, I will always ask about you. How your day is, how your plain black coffee is, what you thought of that one song that played as we were walking into the train after a date that both of us probably went on looking to get laid. But in the end, it will always be you. I will continue to fluff your deflated ego that was caused as such by some hollywood trope from your hometown like a cheerleader or maybe even someone who was on AV Club with you, who really knows, because I sure as hell don’t care to do any research into it. Now, part of being your early to mid-twenties manic pixie dream girl, it is essential for us to bond over old broken up bands that neither one of us were actually alive to see perform yet that dream of ours is still so prevalent as we make conversations over whiskey you assume I like because of it’s pretentious name that you will describe as “harsh yet creamy, dry but sweet” and on bad nights I will tell you that it tastes like the back of my father’s hand and you will laugh at a joke I did not intend to tell but then again I will have to ask you what is so funny. I will always be the one asking you about a life I am so willing to leave without even meeting your family. Being a manic pixie dream girl is all fun and games until I am the one always doing the starting of conversations, until I am the one sending you Spotify playlists that I know you will never listen to, until I am the one showing up unannounced. My name will roll off your tongue like smoke from your American Spirits, but only in the beginning, because by the end; you will cough when I finally tell you to stop calling me.

0

Aug 23, 2017

Aug 23, 2017 at 5:14 PM UTC

manic pixie dream girl trope

Here I am, the manic pixie dream girl of, you guessed it; your dreams. I am here to ask you questions about your boring, probably something generic, major like business or management or maybe even some type of art form that no one really knew existed until you decided to bring it to your high school and of course the liberal arts school of your dreams has that EXACT program and all the means to support it financially. Of course, I will always ask about you. How your day is, how your plain black coffee is, what you thought of that one song that played as we were walking into the train after a date that both of us probably went on looking to get laid. But in the end, it will always be you. I will continue to fluff your deflated ego that was caused as such by some hollywood trope from your hometown like a cheerleader or maybe even someone who was on AV Club with you, who really knows, because I sure as hell don’t care to do any research into it. Now, part of being your early to mid-twenties manic pixie dream girl, it is essential for us to bond over old broken up bands that neither one of us were actually alive to see perform yet that dream of ours is still so prevalent as we make conversations over whiskey you assume I like because of it’s pretentious name that you will describe as “harsh yet creamy, dry but sweet” and on bad nights I will tell you that it tastes like the back of my father’s hand and you will laugh at a joke I did not intend to tell but then again I will have to ask you what is so funny. I will always be the one asking you about a life I am so willing to leave without even meeting your family. Being a manic pixie dream girl is all fun and games until I am the one always doing the starting of conversations, until I am the one sending you Spotify playlists that I know you will never listen to, until I am the one showing up unannounced. My name will roll off your tongue like smoke from your American Spirits, but only in the beginning, because by the end; you will cough when I finally tell you to stop calling me.

1

cigarette butts in the fireplace never seemed so lonely six more days until i see your face and all i can think about is the last time you said goodbye you leaving the door open ajar just in case i was going to come running but i didn’t because i thought you would five more minutes until 12 am and maybe since you’re turning over a new leaf that i, would be your midnight kiss life is not that sweet life is not that simple four empty bottles on your headboard oh, my spectacular love what have you done to deserve this do you still feel the same? the whiskey on your breath telling lies to your demons preying on the vulnerable three brothers laughing at thanksgiving and you sulking in the corner thinking about my lips or maybe my hips the rings around your eyes was the closest we ever got to marriage two people in a photograph overflowing with love or maybe lust his hand in hers the first snow of the year resting quietly on their hair footsteps on the beach cigarette burns on his heart one more chance is all i’ve got for you to remember our hope wrapped in gold paper i wish upon it i wish

0

Nov 24, 2015

Nov 24, 2015 at 6:13 PM UTC

love is laserquest

cigarette butts in the fireplace never seemed so lonely six more days until i see your face and all i can think about is the last time you said goodbye you leaving the door open ajar just in case i was going to come running but i didn’t because i thought you would five more minutes until 12 am and maybe since you’re turning over a new leaf that i, would be your midnight kiss life is not that sweet life is not that simple four empty bottles on your headboard oh, my spectacular love what have you done to deserve this do you still feel the same? the whiskey on your breath telling lies to your demons preying on the vulnerable three brothers laughing at thanksgiving and you sulking in the corner thinking about my lips or maybe my hips the rings around your eyes was the closest we ever got to marriage two people in a photograph overflowing with love or maybe lust his hand in hers the first snow of the year resting quietly on their hair footsteps on the beach cigarette burns on his heart one more chance is all i’ve got for you to remember our hope wrapped in gold paper i wish upon it i wish

46

Aries- oh what have you done to deserve this? so much hate in your heart for yourself yet you were living a lie I hope you're happy now Taurus- sweet child, what a pity that people can't help but leave you how many tears did you shed when he said he didn't love you back? I hope you find peace within yourself Gemini- I'm sorry he doesn't see you're the one you're both stuck in this never ending paradox where no one wins don't change yourself just to please the unpleasable I hope you're whole again one day Cancer- you poor, tired soul. take a seat and look in the mirror for a change. you are nothing if not beautiful. please be kind to yourself I hope you find happiness one day Leo- oh what a warrior you are. wartorn land and heart. you're much more than your mistakes. take a look at everyone around you. I hope you realize you're not alone Virgo- my honey bear, my sweetie pie your hands still shake when they call your name. stop pretending you're okay. there's nothing to be afraid of I hope one day you find clarity Libra- you beautiful creature, how many times has someone failed to compliment you? that number is in the negatives now and you're still on your high horse get off for a second and ground yourself. it's only a matter of time. I hope you forgive and forget Scorpio- my light, my dark, my everything in between stop and smell the roses can't you hear them singing for you? your eyes always did make my heart stop I hope you forget why you're hurting Sagittarius- baby bear cub, you sweet little thing how many days have you been at sea? enough to not love them back just remember where you came from I hope your dreams come true Capricorn- my one true love affair, you're mighty small for someone who loves to talk your nose freckles never seemed so prominent I love your laugh, I love your cry I hope you realize what you've done to me Aquarius- my life and my wannabe lover, you're drowning in regret I can smell the whiskey on your breath yet you're too drunk to see straight I hope you remember who you are Pisces- my soulmate and best friend I know you're still hurting but open up for a change and let them know the real you you can't sweep it under the rug forever I hope you can be yourself

0

Nov 23, 2015

Nov 23, 2015 at 11:57 PM UTC

thanksgiving horoscopes

Aries- oh what have you done to deserve this? so much hate in your heart for yourself yet you were living a lie I hope you're happy now Taurus- sweet child, what a pity that people can't help but leave you how many tears did you shed when he said he didn't love you back? I hope you find peace within yourself Gemini- I'm sorry he doesn't see you're the one you're both stuck in this never ending paradox where no one wins don't change yourself just to please the unpleasable I hope you're whole again one day Cancer- you poor, tired soul. take a seat and look in the mirror for a change. you are nothing if not beautiful. please be kind to yourself I hope you find happiness one day Leo- oh what a warrior you are. wartorn land and heart. you're much more than your mistakes. take a look at everyone around you. I hope you realize you're not alone Virgo- my honey bear, my sweetie pie your hands still shake when they call your name. stop pretending you're okay. there's nothing to be afraid of I hope one day you find clarity Libra- you beautiful creature, how many times has someone failed to compliment you? that number is in the negatives now and you're still on your high horse get off for a second and ground yourself. it's only a matter of time. I hope you forgive and forget Scorpio- my light, my dark, my everything in between stop and smell the roses can't you hear them singing for you? your eyes always did make my heart stop I hope you forget why you're hurting Sagittarius- baby bear cub, you sweet little thing how many days have you been at sea? enough to not love them back just remember where you came from I hope your dreams come true Capricorn- my one true love affair, you're mighty small for someone who loves to talk your nose freckles never seemed so prominent I love your laugh, I love your cry I hope you realize what you've done to me Aquarius- my life and my wannabe lover, you're drowning in regret I can smell the whiskey on your breath yet you're too drunk to see straight I hope you remember who you are Pisces- my soulmate and best friend I know you're still hurting but open up for a change and let them know the real you you can't sweep it under the rug forever I hope you can be yourself

66

sitting in a coffee house with the one you love but a dream but a dream aside from the unwanted discussions it's a nice night painting fireside's by hand creating newspaper love notes you wait for him when he finally comes it's too late loving him was like a creaking door in the night the feeling you get when you lean your chair back right before you fall yet you wait not mentioning to anyone that his hands remind you of the whole world all the oceans and deserts all the wildlife and grasslands you must have forgotten it's now four am and although you're tired there you wait and sit and cry cry to the god you don't believe in cry to the ground he walks on cry to your hands for ever holding his cry until your tears run dry making the rivers feel bad for you his eyes on your chest always felt good always felt pure but now it's dark and daring and oh my god is he coming back? or is that his shadow walking away? i guess we'll never know i guess we'll never know

0

Nov 15, 2015

Nov 15, 2015 at 6:12 PM UTC

coffeehouse blues

sitting in a coffee house with the one you love but a dream but a dream aside from the unwanted discussions it's a nice night painting fireside's by hand creating newspaper love notes you wait for him when he finally comes it's too late loving him was like a creaking door in the night the feeling you get when you lean your chair back right before you fall yet you wait not mentioning to anyone that his hands remind you of the whole world all the oceans and deserts all the wildlife and grasslands you must have forgotten it's now four am and although you're tired there you wait and sit and cry cry to the god you don't believe in cry to the ground he walks on cry to your hands for ever holding his cry until your tears run dry making the rivers feel bad for you his eyes on your chest always felt good always felt pure but now it's dark and daring and oh my god is he coming back? or is that his shadow walking away? i guess we'll never know i guess we'll never know

44

maybe it's the fact that no matter where i went, i could hear your words in the back of my mind yelling saying that i'm not okay and never will be no one's gonna love you

0

Nov 12, 2015

Nov 12, 2015 at 9:42 PM UTC

Untitled

maybe it's the fact that no matter where i went, i could hear your words in the back of my mind yelling saying that i'm not okay and never will be no one's gonna love you

6

broken windshield glass and a beautiful boy how many more tears can be shed? crying during a volleyball game is just the beginning i like to think you were standing still in a white room with Him being touched by all the angels being held by God himself you are holy and righteous and true these are the times the try men's souls we walk around in agony you're watching from above this is all for you can't you see? we're mourning for ourselves because truth be told you're laughing and watching football with great grandad i wonder if your arms were open to death i mean did you feel it coming fast? did your last seven seconds play a slideshow of everyone you loved? i wonder what your last words were something as little as "cool" it's haunting me and all i see is your shing face above and with open arms i moved on

0

Nov 10, 2015

Nov 10, 2015 at 1:00 PM UTC

9/3/15

broken windshield glass and a beautiful boy how many more tears can be shed? crying during a volleyball game is just the beginning i like to think you were standing still in a white room with Him being touched by all the angels being held by God himself you are holy and righteous and true these are the times the try men's souls we walk around in agony you're watching from above this is all for you can't you see? we're mourning for ourselves because truth be told you're laughing and watching football with great grandad i wonder if your arms were open to death i mean did you feel it coming fast? did your last seven seconds play a slideshow of everyone you loved? i wonder what your last words were something as little as "cool" it's haunting me and all i see is your shing face above and with open arms i moved on

29

I am writing this letter to you because you don’t know what you did to me. You ruined me. In more ways than one. I am a mess and I blame this all on you. You are sick and wrong and cold. I hope one day you realize what you’ve done and it tears you apart. I could sit here and write out a list of things I wish upon you, but instead I just want to say I hope you get what you deserve. There is something to be said about me wanting you to take my innocence, but in the end I said no. You kept going. Pushing my hands above my head, I was crying and you were satisfied. I can not stand my body because you touched it. You made me feel like a dog. You have no idea what I feel or what I’ve done to try and get back at myself for your wrongdoings. No. **** that. They weren’t wrongdoings, they were ****** up actions that made you seem in power. Stop blaming other people for things that you caused. You are sick. Completely and utterly, disgusting. I wish you were dead because maybe then I would finally have peace. I have given my body to a handful of boys after you and what the **** am i supposed to do when all of them remind me of you? You make me ill. So ******* ill. I hope you have nightmares about how disgusting you are, because you are a pig. A vile, vile pig. You will never ever know what I am thinking and that tears me the **** apart. I drive by your house twice a week just to see if your car is outside so I can slash the tires. As much as I wish you were dead, I wish I was dead. I wish this never would’ve happened to me. I wish I never would’ve gotten in the car with you. Wish I never said yes then no. You ruined my life. Until you understand what you’ve done, you will never know how it feels. Rot in Hell.

0

Nov 9, 2015

Nov 9, 2015 at 11:20 PM UTC

letter to my ******

I am writing this letter to you because you don’t know what you did to me. You ruined me. In more ways than one. I am a mess and I blame this all on you. You are sick and wrong and cold. I hope one day you realize what you’ve done and it tears you apart. I could sit here and write out a list of things I wish upon you, but instead I just want to say I hope you get what you deserve. There is something to be said about me wanting you to take my innocence, but in the end I said no. You kept going. Pushing my hands above my head, I was crying and you were satisfied. I can not stand my body because you touched it. You made me feel like a dog. You have no idea what I feel or what I’ve done to try and get back at myself for your wrongdoings. No. **** that. They weren’t wrongdoings, they were ****** up actions that made you seem in power. Stop blaming other people for things that you caused. You are sick. Completely and utterly, disgusting. I wish you were dead because maybe then I would finally have peace. I have given my body to a handful of boys after you and what the **** am i supposed to do when all of them remind me of you? You make me ill. So ******* ill. I hope you have nightmares about how disgusting you are, because you are a pig. A vile, vile pig. You will never ever know what I am thinking and that tears me the **** apart. I drive by your house twice a week just to see if your car is outside so I can slash the tires. As much as I wish you were dead, I wish I was dead. I wish this never would’ve happened to me. I wish I never would’ve gotten in the car with you. Wish I never said yes then no. You ruined my life. Until you understand what you’ve done, you will never know how it feels. Rot in Hell.

5

i hate you i hate every fake smile i received from you i hate the way you held my hand in your car i hate your hair and your stupid cleft chin i hate the way you talk i hate the way you don't talk i hate when you walk into a room and expect recognition i hate that your eyes cross when looking at a girl walk by i hate that you tell me i'm wrong and stupid and UNWILLING TO CHANGE i only want to change if you're out of the equation your face makes me sick your voice makes me sick your stupid way of expressing your feelings make me sick you degraded me every chance you got YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE RAISING ME UP BUT YOU WERE ONLY LEADING ME TO HELL i hate you so much so that my hands shake when i think about the words i believed of yours you remind me of a roller coaster that I DESPERATELY WANT TO GET OFF OF you remind me of my father ON THE DAY HE LEFT US that malicious grin he had is the only face you know i am through trying to get you see that i'm the light instead of the dark but you're too blinded with arrogance i hope you rot in your jail cell of a dorm i hate you with all my heart now look at my fake smile.

0

Apr 6, 2015

Apr 6, 2015 at 10:15 AM UTC

i hate you

i hate you i hate every fake smile i received from you i hate the way you held my hand in your car i hate your hair and your stupid cleft chin i hate the way you talk i hate the way you don't talk i hate when you walk into a room and expect recognition i hate that your eyes cross when looking at a girl walk by i hate that you tell me i'm wrong and stupid and UNWILLING TO CHANGE i only want to change if you're out of the equation your face makes me sick your voice makes me sick your stupid way of expressing your feelings make me sick you degraded me every chance you got YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE RAISING ME UP BUT YOU WERE ONLY LEADING ME TO HELL i hate you so much so that my hands shake when i think about the words i believed of yours you remind me of a roller coaster that I DESPERATELY WANT TO GET OFF OF you remind me of my father ON THE DAY HE LEFT US that malicious grin he had is the only face you know i am through trying to get you see that i'm the light instead of the dark but you're too blinded with arrogance i hope you rot in your jail cell of a dorm i hate you with all my heart now look at my fake smile.

28

how can you miss someone that is literally in the next room as you? how can you want to be with someone so much so that you cancel all plans just to clear the way if they want to hang out it's so hard to understand because my brain is telling me one thing and my heart keeps contradicting it and to think i used to always go with my gut i don't know i'm thinking of the ways to tell you we should define this but then again, whenever that happens, i get nothing and neither do you we are stuck in the never ending paradox of never being merely platonic and i'm just confused because my life was missing this piece and i always insisted it was you then why does this feel so off and maybe i'm thinking about that fact that we have never been fully on the timing never seems to work out and maybe it's possible that this time it works

0

Nov 24, 2014

Nov 24, 2014 at 10:28 AM UTC

impossible

how can you miss someone that is literally in the next room as you? how can you want to be with someone so much so that you cancel all plans just to clear the way if they want to hang out it's so hard to understand because my brain is telling me one thing and my heart keeps contradicting it and to think i used to always go with my gut i don't know i'm thinking of the ways to tell you we should define this but then again, whenever that happens, i get nothing and neither do you we are stuck in the never ending paradox of never being merely platonic and i'm just confused because my life was missing this piece and i always insisted it was you then why does this feel so off and maybe i'm thinking about that fact that we have never been fully on the timing never seems to work out and maybe it's possible that this time it works

21