e-i-alvarez - Hello Poetry

I have wasted half a lifetime trying to outrun the sea. I never can, because an ocean is alive inside of me. I was born into the sun and so I can't escape the beach. The sound of breaking water is just my spirit breaking free. But the ocean is enormous, in some places, dark and deep. Some nights I dream of drowning, the ocean haunts me in my sleep. No matter how the sea may need me, I will always need it more. And when it reaches out to grab me I'll be waiting on the shore.

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Aug 26, 2013

Aug 26, 2013 at 5:19 AM UTC

On the Coast

I have wasted half a lifetime trying to outrun the sea. I never can, because an ocean is alive inside of me. I was born into the sun and so I can't escape the beach. The sound of breaking water is just my spirit breaking free. But the ocean is enormous, in some places, dark and deep. Some nights I dream of drowning, the ocean haunts me in my sleep. No matter how the sea may need me, I will always need it more. And when it reaches out to grab me I'll be waiting on the shore.

12

**funny, i always seem to think in yesterdays or tomorrows.**

0

Apr 20, 2013

Apr 20, 2013 at 8:51 AM UTC

Untitled

**funny, i always seem to think in yesterdays or tomorrows.**

6

It’s irresistible. The soft sound of your breath and the way your hips move in the dark. I like the glisten of sweat on your chest and the straining of your arms against the bed sheets. I like your voice and the look in your eyes like a whole different man. I love it when you beg. I love it when I give in and the feeling of mutual satisfaction as we both touch. I love the ending and when you lose control for me. I love the epilogue and the daze you’re in “Wow.” You say.

0

Apr 18, 2013

Apr 18, 2013 at 12:38 AM UTC

On Temptation

It’s irresistible. The soft sound of your breath and the way your hips move in the dark. I like the glisten of sweat on your chest and the straining of your arms against the bed sheets. I like your voice and the look in your eyes like a whole different man. I love it when you beg. I love it when I give in and the feeling of mutual satisfaction as we both touch. I love the ending and when you lose control for me. I love the epilogue and the daze you’re in “Wow.” You say.

20

Sometimes Life becomes a struggle, I feel that I can barely breathe. It feels like Life has torn me open and then left me there to bleed. It feels like Lifes entire purpose is to bring me to my knees and then when I am fully broken Life will call the crows to feed. Life will bruise me and abuse me continue on despite my pleas and because Life is so cunning no one else will ever see. It knows all my greatest failures. It knows all my biggest fears. So it waits to catch me all alone and whispers in my ear, "No one wants to see your struggle. No one wants to see your tears." And then as if these quiet words alone were not enough, Life screams at me so loudly, "You know your life's not so tough! Those people have a real struggle, their lives are a thousand times as rough!" And because what Life is saying is a truth I can't deny I will never share my struggle, no one will see me cry. And if they ask me how I'm doing I will tell them I am fine.

0

Apr 18, 2013

Apr 18, 2013 at 12:35 AM UTC

On Privilege in Suburbia

Sometimes Life becomes a struggle, I feel that I can barely breathe. It feels like Life has torn me open and then left me there to bleed. It feels like Lifes entire purpose is to bring me to my knees and then when I am fully broken Life will call the crows to feed. Life will bruise me and abuse me continue on despite my pleas and because Life is so cunning no one else will ever see. It knows all my greatest failures. It knows all my biggest fears. So it waits to catch me all alone and whispers in my ear, "No one wants to see your struggle. No one wants to see your tears." And then as if these quiet words alone were not enough, Life screams at me so loudly, "You know your life's not so tough! Those people have a real struggle, their lives are a thousand times as rough!" And because what Life is saying is a truth I can't deny I will never share my struggle, no one will see me cry. And if they ask me how I'm doing I will tell them I am fine.

27

you are the best and worst thing that has happened to me so far. you are exactly what i need and what i want and no one has ever made me feel the way you make me feel. you bring out the best and worst in me. you make me feel beautiful and wanted but jealous and obsessive. expressive and alive but still clinging to you like a child. this is the best and worst thing i’ve ever felt. because i think i really think i was in love with you. or at least this is the closest i’ve ever gotten to love or something like it. this is what i know about love: it is the best and worst thing that could happen to you. a euphoric feeling of being needed. a terrifying feeling of addiction. love is: me still writing poems about you months after the fact. me still dependent on you like a drug. unable to escape this prison and the best and worst part is i did it to myself. still thinking that someday it will work out because there cannot be anyone else. you are it for me. but this is what i know about love: it is not infinite or unconditional or something to build your life on. what i know about love every man in my life has taught me. one at a time they tell me love is: not what you thought at all. love is: when you feel that pain in that one spot of your chest where you feel it every time. like when your brother left or your uncle left or your father left. so the best and worst thing i’ve ever done was to love you like i didn’t know what love is.

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Apr 17, 2013

Apr 17, 2013 at 11:58 PM UTC

Grandes Exitos

you are the best and worst thing that has happened to me so far. you are exactly what i need and what i want and no one has ever made me feel the way you make me feel. you bring out the best and worst in me. you make me feel beautiful and wanted but jealous and obsessive. expressive and alive but still clinging to you like a child. this is the best and worst thing i’ve ever felt. because i think i really think i was in love with you. or at least this is the closest i’ve ever gotten to love or something like it. this is what i know about love: it is the best and worst thing that could happen to you. a euphoric feeling of being needed. a terrifying feeling of addiction. love is: me still writing poems about you months after the fact. me still dependent on you like a drug. unable to escape this prison and the best and worst part is i did it to myself. still thinking that someday it will work out because there cannot be anyone else. you are it for me. but this is what i know about love: it is not infinite or unconditional or something to build your life on. what i know about love every man in my life has taught me. one at a time they tell me love is: not what you thought at all. love is: when you feel that pain in that one spot of your chest where you feel it every time. like when your brother left or your uncle left or your father left. so the best and worst thing i’ve ever done was to love you like i didn’t know what love is.

97

my hands were cut by thorns while i was picking lemons from our tree. i didn’t know until later when the lemons reminded me, stinging, that you were not there.

0

Apr 17, 2013

Apr 17, 2013 at 11:46 PM UTC

On Lemons

my hands were cut by thorns while i was picking lemons from our tree. i didn’t know until later when the lemons reminded me, stinging, that you were not there.

7

**in the stillness i waited for some sign that you were alive. when it did not come i died there with you.**

0

Apr 17, 2013

Apr 17, 2013 at 11:45 PM UTC

On Grief

**in the stillness i waited for some sign that you were alive. when it did not come i died there with you.**

7