11:51pm
you're doing your sisters hair.
i'm laying here, miles away, on a bed sprawled next to my notebook and pen.
i feel completely, wholly, utterly numb.
11:54pm
you of all people should know what it's like to slowly loose faith just before the light changes to green. but until it changes, the wait, is what it is. antagonising.
11:55pm
i don't know if i'll make it, i'm numb scared and worried that i won't. i don't even know if you'll be pleased to see me even if i do.
11:57pm
i will always, try my best, to stand by you through everything, please never doubt that. please always remember ~
Jul 26, 2017
Jul 26, 2017 at 12:57 PM UTC
2:32am
i wanted to message,
ask if you're okay
but it feels silly and pointless
with everything going on.
2:33am
i don't want to be a
'me' without 'you'
2:35am
i feel numb. to the facts and events about to come. all i can think of is finding a way back to you right now. that's my mission. that's what i have to, need to, focus on.
2:37am
i'm trying so hard to keep things together. for you, for me, for us. but it's so hard when all i feel like is im failing at being an ounce bit of comfort.
2:40am
the reason i'm rather reluctant to share happier stuff is because i'm selfish too. sometimes i only want to share with a selected few. you're always one of the few though, just incase you had a moment of doubt.
there are happy moments amidst the struggles and they make living life, all the much more bearable (praise be to God).
2:44sam
I miss you to smithereens.
To bits and pieces.
Jul 21, 2017
Jul 21, 2017 at 9:48 PM UTC
the problem
with heroes
is that everyone thinks
they're perfect
until they're not.
its almost as if
people can't stand to deal
with the dark sides of people that exist
nobody likes discovering
the skeletons that we keep
they'll tell you they care
that they'll always be there
that there's nothing
that could ever
change their mind
until something does
then suddenly
curtains are closed
all good that has once been done
disappears into smoke
people love to say
tell me the truth over a lie any day
but when truth comes knocking
suddenly they're the ones running away
Jan 19, 2017
Jan 19, 2017 at 4:11 PM UTC
giving up
isn't an option
when you want to go home.
you've got to fight,
you're going to cry,
you're going to hurt,
time after time after time,
you're going to have to sacrifice,
and give and give and forgive,
and forgive and give and give,
you're going to bleed,
drop by drip by drip,
you're going to have your heart,
ripped to shreds,
over and over and over,
and even when
you think
you're finally numb
the feelings will come back
in waves upon waves
you will never be left to rest
in this world.
test upon test,
will occur,
until it's your time to leave,
and may you leave in the best
and the most beautiful
and painless of ways.
may you find peace,
comfort and happiness,
may you find your way home,
may it be everything you wished,
wanted, and more ~
Dec 7, 2016
Dec 7, 2016 at 7:37 PM UTC
its forty-eight minutes past seven pm
time ticks on
fingers tap on
hearts beat on
eyes search forward
minds yearn more
souls grow tired
so another day sets
another day is gone
was today an accomplishment?
was today a waste?
did you take a second to contemplate?
fingers grow numb
hearts grow warm
bodies begin to ache, at the thought of time slowly but surely slipping away, marking the certainty of life, that it will end one day, and we will all return back to the One who gave us life in the first place
Aug 6, 2016
Aug 6, 2016 at 2:54 PM UTC
Notes to self:
You don't have to have it all figured out, it's okay
You may not be able to make sense of things always, and that's okay
You're not alone in this world, you'll find a way through this, okay?
You may not understand why things happen, and that's okay
You may be confused and scared right now of so many things, and it's okay to be
Things will fall into place, with time and patience, so stay strong, okay?
I believe in you, even though you lose hope in yourself at times
Turn back to He, who brought you this far in the first place
Okay?
Apr 20, 2016
Apr 20, 2016 at 2:34 AM UTC
She looked left, she saw pain
She looked right, she saw struggling
She looked ahead, she saw tests
She looked behind her, she saw heartbreak
She looked up, she saw illusions and deception
She looked down, she saw cracks in the pavement
she felt very much like the pavement
Apr 20, 2016
Apr 20, 2016 at 2:04 AM UTC
ask me
listen to what I don't say
answers are too often hidden
in the depths
not served on pretty silver plates
Feb 22, 2016
Feb 22, 2016 at 8:21 AM UTC
find me in the shadows
shivering in the warm
Feb 22, 2016
Feb 22, 2016 at 8:07 AM UTC
I've been thinking about you for hours and hours and hours...
Don't know why, but today I've been feeling slightly nostalgic
The kind where I just want to somehow make it to your room
Tiptoe in and hide.
Crawl up into a ball, covered by a blanket and sleep.
Sleep till you come back home if you're out,
& find me.
The kind where I just want to sit and watch
Or listen to you talk
Focus on the sound of your voice
But not talk myself
I'd really like that.
I've been thinking about you for hours and hours and hours now...
I don't know why nostalgia has been setting in
Like the air in my lungs
I can't quite stop it from finding its way into my chest
I've been thinking about that email I keep wanting to write to you and send
But haven't had the chance to
Not now, not yet.
(whispers
"I'm sorry..")
But I wanted
Wanted you to know,
That I've been thinking about you for hours and hours
And hours on end.
Been feeling slightly nostalgic too.
For a home that hasn't felt like home in years, in a place that feels more foreign than familiar,
In a city that's seems like thousands and thousands and thousands of miles away
Like you.
But you're not
And that's the difference I can't quite make sense of.
Nov 29, 2015
Nov 29, 2015 at 6:35 AM UTC