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divinusqualia
divinusqualia
"That crazed girl improvising her music. / Her poetry, dancing upon the shore, / her soul in division from itself / climbing, falling, she knew not where." / -William Butler Yeats
Tell me you know your blood runs red and red just like mine, you don’t have enough gold in your stardust to convince me of anything otherwise. But the sky: it might blind me. It’s still grey, blue and blue. You must know the color of your own eyes by now.
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Jul 5, 2016
Jul 5, 2016 at 4:36 AM UTC
Colors
My mother decided that I was thunder, rumbling from a place hidden in dark clouds and booming, echoing unseen across the sky with my heavy nature. She told me to find rain, a soft caress for my weathered skin to mute my intensity. To dance with a light shower against the setting August sun. Instead, you are lightning. Sharp and dangerous, you are wild strength. Crackling with an energy that summons me, brightens the sky and lights trees on fire. We should have been a storm. Breathtaking. Thunder and lightning who bring the rain when they clash in awe, but neither of us wanted to be soft. But we did bring wind. It whipped past our ears with anger we held closer than each other. Giving nothing time to settle before we blew it away like scattered leaves. We created masterpieces in the heavens, my angels answer to your raw power. But I always follow, trailing behind farther each time you flash hot. The rain never came. V. K.
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Aug 10, 2015
Aug 10, 2015 at 3:10 AM UTC
Tempest Drought
It’s like the only a i r left on earth is what’s trapped                       in                      my                    lungs, but I am needing more than oxygen to survive. V. K.
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Aug 3, 2015
Aug 3, 2015 at 3:43 AM UTC
Carbon Monoxide
In a broken shower, where the cold tap doesn’t work and water sprays faster than it drains, when you close your eyes to wash your face it feels like wading into Hell’s ocean. Imagine it. You don’t know if it’s scarier to pretend the water is perfectly clear or layered in murky darkness. Do you want to see? Soap burns your eyes when you panic and open them before any decision can be cemented, like your feet to that nightmare world. V.K.
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Aug 3, 2015
Aug 3, 2015 at 1:51 AM UTC
Blistered Skin
Out there is the sight of rain in the distance. That particular shade of grey falls smooth as a new pen on a bleached page, which makes the softest and loudest noise, drawing out words. You're drawing me away from my thesaurus, my dictionary, and my scattered pages. Maybe I need to concentrate on something more than my vocabulary. My stiff wool sweater and the kiss of your thighs, shivering in stale air just waiting for the chance to wake up to the soft patter of rain against our windows. Lethargic, the muted lighting makes us softer than we are, you are flickering between rain sheet grey and a new pale blue and watching me fall away from any definitions, synonyms and the ink stains on my fingers. Maybe I just need to focus on the smudge I leave on your cheek, marking the sharp junction of your smile and eyelashes. Here, heavy rain still can't dim your eyes. Blue. Grey. Blue. No pen is that bright. If I could leave you here, because I know I can't, I wouldn't write anything except your name until my writing scrawls across the page and ends up covering my walls in all capitals. I have the image in my head, rain clean, but I haven't uttered a word because I don't know if the descriptions are enough to gift such a patient goddess with, so trust in the dark that my silence is the heaviest and lightest sound of my heart. You bring the rain on Tuesday and then invite me to dance, there are no other words for this. V. K.
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Aug 2, 2015
Aug 2, 2015 at 3:30 AM UTC
Rain on Tuesday
You are a familiar downtown intersection, even though I'm from the suburbs. You are streetlights that don't flash yellow at 9:00pm, busy don't stop but go slowly. Careful. You are construction, hazard lights, hiding caution signs in bedrooms and you are painted in warning orange, red lights and green, stop and go cars lining the way. You are brunch time traffic and stale car air, loud music on the radio. You are being late for our reservation and not knowing what to order. You are mimosas and caesers and sangrias before noon, spice in my mouth and burning my throat. You are unorganized, not knowing formal table settings. You are hungry, you are full of Spanish breakfast. You are unsure about where we should go, where will we end up? You are a lazy midday walk, the cloudless sky. You are skipping rocks under bridges and finding perfect pebbles. You are inappropriate footwear for the task, my blue dress by the river. You are slick shore rocks, tears or waterfalls or sweat, slipping into danger. You are sirens, my wailing drowns by the water. You are flashing lights, here and gone and here and - You are what I think about in waiting rooms, off white florescent lighting and white tile ceilings and business black chairs and a heavy ticking clock. You are the dead space in my life. You are the dead space. You are the dead. You are. V. K.
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Jul 30, 2015
Jul 30, 2015 at 2:17 PM UTC
you could have at least invited me to my own funeral
You are the cracking bones beneath my stretching ankles reflected in the mirror. You are the dry eyes at 1:08 AM blurring old contacts, unfocused on laptop glare. You are the approach of a passing car outside the window, and the fading headlights bright. You are the static in my pillow ear as I contemplate why you are in my head and on my skin, and yet, you are not. V. K.
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Jul 30, 2015
Jul 30, 2015 at 3:09 AM UTC
you have never set foot in this bedroom and still you haunt me here
I am the flower petals and fairy dust mixed for dark magic luring you out of the dark with a burst of dragon fire and silver. Your devil laugh is mine. V. K.
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Jul 28, 2015
Jul 28, 2015 at 11:22 PM UTC
Heaven
I was never shocked at how quickly I became used to the way you make me insatiable for lips never known before, infatuation is a danger and I’m self-indulging, but let me pull you down with me. I promise there are beautiful views in Hell. That stark wasteland, putrid and silent and dark, makes it easier to appreciate whatever we have now. But I’m sure you already knew that, leading the army of the only man more evil than you. The flames in your eyes I mistook for passion never hesitated to burn me. How wicked. Wicked, wicked, wicked eager me jumping to trust you while you licked the purity from my soul. One day someone else will feed my voracious appetite and I will simply know that numbing, blissed feeling as “the way you used to make me feel”. Without the smoldering core of being used. V. K.
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Jul 26, 2015
Jul 26, 2015 at 3:34 PM UTC
Used
I don't remember the last time I was hungry. My anxiety shrunken stomach and I prefer the cool dimness of our secluded bedroom. Alone. Better than shoveling food, flavored nothing, into my dry mouth under the heat of your gaze and listening to how you've interpreted my feelings. Sorry I've ruined your appetite but I said I wasn't hungry. Plus, I worry about, if I open my mouth to chew, what would emerge. V. K.
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Jul 24, 2015
Jul 24, 2015 at 1:37 PM UTC
Dinner Time