dissociated - Hello Poetry

If I were to be given the option to **** you, I would do it gently. Lovingly. I would hold your head in my lap as I feel you become a heavy corpse. I would lay flowers on your chest as your breathing slows. I would pray that you are both confused and disgusted by the sheer magnitude of my forgiveness. That it haunts you as you take your last breath. That it haunts you in death. In the end, everything I write is about you.

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Jul 26, 2025

Jul 26, 2025 at 5:56 PM UTC

you.

If I were to be given the option to **** you, I would do it gently. Lovingly. I would hold your head in my lap as I feel you become a heavy corpse. I would lay flowers on your chest as your breathing slows. I would pray that you are both confused and disgusted by the sheer magnitude of my forgiveness. That it haunts you as you take your last breath. That it haunts you in death. In the end, everything I write is about you.

15

I fantasize about rejecting apologies from you. Apologies that I know will never come. Apologies that I know you do not have the capacity to even feign.

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Jul 26, 2025

Jul 26, 2025 at 5:53 PM UTC

apologies

I fantasize about rejecting apologies from you. Apologies that I know will never come. Apologies that I know you do not have the capacity to even feign.

3

If there is a God, i trust that He would have already killed me out of pity He would have put this suffering to an end by now That would be the mark of a forgiving God. I’ve never been religious, but lately I pray every night. Sometimes on my knees until they’re bruised and red against the carpeted floor as it digs into my skin, sometimes curled into myself like a dying animal, my fingers clasped together so tightly that they begin to turn white and my nails start to cut into my flesh. I beg Him to either save me or end me. So far, He hasn’t done either.

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Jul 26, 2025

Jul 26, 2025 at 5:47 PM UTC

to suffer feels inherently sac religious

If there is a God, i trust that He would have already killed me out of pity He would have put this suffering to an end by now That would be the mark of a forgiving God. I’ve never been religious, but lately I pray every night. Sometimes on my knees until they’re bruised and red against the carpeted floor as it digs into my skin, sometimes curled into myself like a dying animal, my fingers clasped together so tightly that they begin to turn white and my nails start to cut into my flesh. I beg Him to either save me or end me. So far, He hasn’t done either.

21

the scars on my body, even three years later, remain emboldened and raised on my flesh serving as a simple yet harrowing reminder that this body never belonged to me— and that it never, ever would.

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Sep 17, 2024

Sep 17, 2024 at 12:23 PM UTC

never my own

the scars on my body, even three years later, remain emboldened and raised on my flesh serving as a simple yet harrowing reminder that this body never belonged to me— and that it never, ever would.

6

my heart is very big there is much room for you here to curl up in the hollow space won’t you stay a while?

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Sep 17, 2024

Sep 17, 2024 at 12:13 PM UTC

there is room for you here

my heart is very big there is much room for you here to curl up in the hollow space won’t you stay a while?

4

slice me open bleed me dry you tear into me like a starved, feral animal but it’s not the same, is it? there’s a difference between you and the wild animal a wild animal acts upon instinct you act upon perversions you have intention a bear would not do those things

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Apr 19, 2024

Apr 19, 2024 at 9:31 PM UTC

are you much like a bear?

slice me open bleed me dry you tear into me like a starved, feral animal but it’s not the same, is it? there’s a difference between you and the wild animal a wild animal acts upon instinct you act upon perversions you have intention a bear would not do those things

14

my love, my light look at you those eyes of purity and trust that wrap around my mind like a blanket oh, to feel your hands interlocked with mine my dearest, my dearest, my dearest my love

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Sep 6, 2020

Sep 6, 2020 at 2:11 PM UTC

dearest

my love, my light look at you those eyes of purity and trust that wrap around my mind like a blanket oh, to feel your hands interlocked with mine my dearest, my dearest, my dearest my love

11

his words like tea unsweetened and bitter on my tongue but now he's added honey and the love is all the more sweet

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Sep 4, 2020

Sep 4, 2020 at 12:54 PM UTC

honey

his words like tea unsweetened and bitter on my tongue but now he's added honey and the love is all the more sweet

8

a dream in which i finally was enveloped in your arms again being held tightly the dreams are getting more frequent with the idea that my one chance to see you this year will be ripped away from me i want to write songs with you again i want to see your perfect smile and listen to you talk about your anxieties with me like i'm an old friend why must you live so far why must we be years apart i miss you

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Apr 28, 2020

Apr 28, 2020 at 2:52 PM UTC

another dream about him

a dream in which i finally was enveloped in your arms again being held tightly the dreams are getting more frequent with the idea that my one chance to see you this year will be ripped away from me i want to write songs with you again i want to see your perfect smile and listen to you talk about your anxieties with me like i'm an old friend why must you live so far why must we be years apart i miss you

13

i spoke to my mother this morning about my most recent ex and how i would still take him back in a heartbeat she said to me "that makes me sad," and the only response i could muster was "love is dangerous when the abuse feels like home"

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Apr 7, 2020

Apr 7, 2020 at 9:20 PM UTC

a conversation

i spoke to my mother this morning about my most recent ex and how i would still take him back in a heartbeat she said to me "that makes me sad," and the only response i could muster was "love is dangerous when the abuse feels like home"

9