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devin-lawrence
devin-lawrence
"I am a writer. Therefore, I am not sane." / -Edgar Allen Poe
The smell of something putrid protrudes up through your nostrils as you walk down these dimply lit streets. You hear the fire crackling, you see the glow off the side of an abandoned building. Is this one of those fires you see on the news - set ablaze by anger and retaliation? No. It's the burning wounds along Jacob Blake's back. It's the marks of oppression - the scars we "distract" ourselves from. There's a fire burning in America and the source is plain to see: while bodies line up along the streets, people following along on their TV screens say a prayer for broken windows. They mourn items that are looted as if it wasn't a life that was looted first. There's a fire burning and it melts the black skin right off their bones. A skeleton has no color yet they blame corpses for their own murders. There's a fire burning from Sanford to Staten Island, from Louisville to Kenosha. But those very flames were ignited by the people designated to put them out. Who watches the watchmen? Who stands with the people? The hammer has dropped. The bullets have left the chamber. As long as our brothers and sisters have to fight for their right to live, Red, White and Blue lives don't matter.
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Aug 27, 2020
Aug 27, 2020 at 4:50 PM UTC
Fire
I write my words in cursive so they know how to. The lines that bind us together can seem so thin, like a dash of ink, it can be wiped away. An island only knows water for the way it extends beyond the horizon. The peaceful splashes of rippling waves can’t pacify the feeling of loneliness; a passing bird squawks as it carries on its journey. And the sun keeps rising day after day. Have you ever felt the jolt of holding someone’s hand? The spark of life that is embracing them in a hug? We were made to connect, yet so many of us sit aside unplugged. The singer on the stage begs us to sing along; and for a moment, every stranger is bound by word and sound. That post-concert depression hits hardest during that long drive home - riding solo. I write my words in cursive so that they know how to. Because if they do, maybe you will too.
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Dec 10, 2019
Dec 10, 2019 at 3:48 AM UTC
Connect
The clown keeps a journal filled with his suicidal thoughts; His face wet with paint and his hair soaked in dye, he laughs to himself as he reads the words scribbled across the pages. They crescendo like the build up of a joke - splashes of ink blots suggest that his pen blew up before the punch-line. He remembers a time when the earth was grey; the morning dew seeped into everyone’s socks and they walked around with heavy feet, indifferent to the man beside him walking on the bare flesh of his toes. Then a stream of water dribbled out from the prank flower on his chest. In a world so addicted to tragedy, comedy is sublime, like the nicotine rush from a cigarette. Yet laughter is a bond so easily broken. The white on his face can wipe away, the lipstick can smear, and the dye can fade. But beneath all of that is a smile, a smile that persists because nothing is wrong when the clowns come out.
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Nov 11, 2019
Nov 11, 2019 at 1:11 AM UTC
Send in the Clowns
We pass over to see what's on the other side - They say that the grass is always greener and I haven't seen vibrant colors in so long. This melancholy feeling of fate and choice is paralyzing and uplifting. Cross over the same spot that many before found a dead end carved out by a stream. Instead, they sat by the tallest tree and divulged their secrets - oh if the leaves could talk! The water under the bridge lies beneath to be forgotten. But it flows steady so that deer and pheasants can sip; the splashing, rippling tide echoes like our footsteps as we pass into oblivion. Once our feet hit the ground, we take note of those around: those who stayed behind are the dandelion seeds surrounding us, drifting in the wind. those who joined us are the trees lined along the path. If you try to back-track, you'll find that the bridge can only be crossed once.
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Apr 24, 2019
Apr 24, 2019 at 4:56 AM UTC
Bridges
I am an empty seat waiting to be filled. All I want is to be seen and claimed, Only to be released Once a better seat is open. In another life, You and I, We sat here for forever. I gave you support, And you stayed on me for comfort – And that was fine with me. I am the empty seat at the table, Glanced over, and never heard from. Louder voices grasp your attention, While I’m squeaking out for your affection. The server reaches over me, You place your bag on me, Hang your coat on me, Place your feet on me, And never before have I felt so important So please get comfortable And stay here with me. I am the empty seat, Unclaimed and forgotten. Maybe it was my position or over-eagerness That repelled you on to the other chairs around. But at least I can share in the moment – Quiet beside the table – And pretend like you wanted me there. I am your favorite empty chair. The building is being torn down; The chairs are being pawned off. I wait to hear if you want me, But before long, I’m thrown among the pieces of my friends And wait until that glorious moment I’m no longer an empty chair.
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Feb 27, 2019
Feb 27, 2019 at 1:47 AM UTC
Empty Chair
So alluring, the way the dark spreads itself across a sea of shining stars and makes us forget the infinities we haven’t seen. I question myself and I think about how the starlight we see is a gift from centuries ago. I’m alive in the dark. I’m lethargic in the light. And yet the darkest corners of my imagination are the places I dread the most. I’m alone in the light. I’m a force in the dark. My wrists tremble at the thought of another night of telling stories with ambiguous intent and metaphors that strike my knees - bow to the dark - and yet I’m the only fool who reads my words. The gift of the dark is the great balance of life; when time is stuck in one end of the dichotomy, these little spots of grey pour out over the blue in my eyes. And as the colors are muffled like the road workers covering up an artist’s graffiti, I begin to understand why there’s two sides to a coin. I’m alive in the dark, tired in the light, and the shadows of the night have become my favorite audience.
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Jan 9, 2019
Jan 9, 2019 at 5:32 AM UTC
The Dark
It’s nice to see you again. You’re always a click away. I did a thing today. Will you like it for me right away? I see you found a new hobby, you post a link that I copy, and I like it, because I like you. I share my new piece, take a look at your niece, you seem happy and it puts me at peace. But I’m stuck... I’ve signed a new lease. Look at this photo, I’ve used new hair grease. You like it, and I think it means you like me. You fall in love and I like that picture of you and them on that hike; it feels like I’m with you all the time, but this bond is only as strong as our connection to Wi-Fi. I’ve lost some friends but I deflect by sharing songs to connect, but these prevailing thoughts interject: I’m all alone. It’s just the screen, and me. I look at likes like they’re currency and I’m currently using poetry - a writer’s diplomacy - to scream “woe is me!” but I bet you can see right through me, can’t you? My digital friend, where did this begin, and where does it end? Are we bound to do this dance ‘till we’re echoes of dust, or call it like it is: you and me, we’re just... I can’t. You post a picture. I like it, because I like you.
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Aug 3, 2018
Aug 3, 2018 at 12:57 AM UTC
Internet Friends
Like lightning in the distance, you're a force I can't grasp, can't fear nor admire. I yearn to feel a zap, a jolt of reality, but I'm still standing under this lonely tree. I've been searching for something like you, and it seems like every time I catch a glimpse I watch it vanish within the whisper of the wind. It's like it never happened. But it did. I lay in bed with someone who tells me "you never give yourself up to love." It kills me to admit she's the most real thing I've ever had, but the left side of the mattress could just as soon hold a vacancy I've always known. The thunder calls out from the night sky, and the clouds conceal those diamonds above. I stare at a computer screen wondering whether or not to pierce through the guarded unknown. Some call it closure. Some call it the path to pain. I close the tab and find something else to dwell on. It's just a name, a title. It's not like I'm the only one who feels this way. But we all know you don't need to be isolated to feel alone. Shortly before becoming the same, I'll understand the difference between a storm and a passing rain. One day I may be the lightning, cradling the thunder and light the way through the clouds. Until then, I'll lay under this tree and watch its leaves get carried off by the wind.
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Jun 18, 2018
Jun 18, 2018 at 5:24 AM UTC
Father
Stuck in a flat-line With nothing but a heartbeat to keep me going. Disgust. Regret. But I can't stop looking in the mirror. The grey looms over the horizon; what a treacherous fantasy to chase the stars. The music doesn't sound the same and this dingy road continues on and on. That plateau fading from view seems to call to me, begging me to reminisce and accept that the view may never get any better. Stuck in a flat-line but my heart isn't in it anymore. A labor of love becomes an ordinary labor once the passion slips away.
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May 14, 2018
May 14, 2018 at 3:32 AM UTC
Neutral
I'm a record repeating all the same lines hoping that you'll continue to sing along. I'm a door unhinged waiting for you to walk my way again. You're a Gothic masterpiece; a renaissance of imperfection spilling over a lifeless canvass. I sit with a pen still in my hand. I can't expect you to hear my every call, I can't expect that you'll fix the threads that come undone. If these words are my voice, then this page is God's ear. A prayer for what is broken to be mended once more.
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Aug 6, 2017
Aug 6, 2017 at 9:41 AM UTC
Broken