devilgirlzdream
American
My life has had it's ups and downs, but I'm still moving forward. I love life, even though to some it might not seem so............lovely. With everything that i think about I don't have time to really care what others think of me. If you wanna think I some stuck up preppy b**** then go right ahead, I'll just smile and say thanks. I hope to some day become a writer or photographer. I know I'll have my amazing friends, and my loving family to help me go through life. I just hope I don't screw anything up with the people I love, to see the hurt in their eyes, the sorrow down in the very core of their soul, wondering why anything ever happened to make me become this dark, cold, unbelievably dead person inside. / / People that inspire me / Aikin The Deadman <3
“I can’t say I haven’t wondered what it would be like, you and I” and “It hurts me knowing that I can’t just go and be yours”. You’ve said them both. Word for word. So why do I feel like it’s a hopeless love? Like Romeo and Juliet, Bonnie and Clyde, Cleopatra and Mark Anthony. All that fell in love but died with their feelings for one another. One night I dreamt of fighting for you. Dreamt of doing everything I had to do just to make you mine. I’m not sure what it is about you. Is it your smile? Your eyes that I can easily get lost in. Maybe it’s the sweet soothing sound of your voice dancing in my head. I’ve only felt like this for one before you. It was in 2012 when I met him, He was my best friend, and he sadly drifted from my life. His feelings were true, he loved me. Just sadly not in the way of romance and true love. He saw me as nothing more than a great friend, and a painful reminder of his past. I feel like I’m in the same situation once more with you. You’re a highly respected man. Thirty-two years of age. A father of a beautiful daughter. The man of someone that doesn’t truly deserve you. Someone that has put you threw so much and has given you so little. You call your job your place of escape. Your home, your woman. Those are things that should be your escape from the world. You deserve someone that’s willing to fight, that’s willing to hold you when you need to let your feelings out, that’s willing and devoted to make you smile every single day, even if they have to act like a total idiot to just see the glimmer of hope return to your eyes. You’ve dealt with demons for so long. I understand that everything can seem so dark. You deserve to have someone that truly understands those feelings. Not a person that will just say they get it. You want to feel their words, feel their actions. You want someone real, honest, true. I get butterflies everytime I think about you. I get a knot in my chest every time I see someone upset you. You don’t understand how much I want to just run up to you and hug you so tightly, as I whisper in your ear that I’m always here and I love you. “I love you” I don’t know what other words to use to describe what I’m feeling. My feelings towards you are so strong. I’d fight through a crowd of people just to protect you and make you feel worthy of every single thing in life. You’re smart, and funny. You’re sweet and protective. You’re blunt and honest. You’re caring and comforting. Your eyes make me smile. While your smile makes my heart melt. Your touch sends chills down my spine. While your voice makes me blush. I may never get the chance to make you mine. I need to accept that chance and move on. Even though just the thought of it makes my heart hurt and my eyes tear. Like you said “this is just innocent flirting, nothing more.” I was all for it. I now have more feelings than I should. I tried. I truly tried to keep my heart out of this, I kept telling myself that we’re just friends, that you have a girlfriend. Nothing can happen. I can’t feel anything for you. That was, until I had my blackout, and while drunk I admitted to three people, as well as wrote it in a suicide letter, that I fell in love with you. I was willing to take my life and the only thing that I could think of while the world was collapsing on me was you. You truly are my savior. Whether I want to admit all of this to you or not….we shall see what the future holds. I’m so sappy. I want to apologize to you about all my flaws. Like apologizing for apologizing so much. I know that just made you smirk cause I just smiled while typing it thinking of your reaction.
May 13, 2020
May 13, 2020 at 6:19 PM UTC
Slowly fading away,
Into the darkness.
Once again,
Trying to fight.
The demons,
Pushing me down.
Down to hell,
To the end.
Oct 14, 2016
Oct 14, 2016 at 11:06 PM UTC
Just leave me be.
Got off my back.
Let me be me.
I never told you to speak.
I never told you to listen.
Get out of my life.
You don't know what I've seen.
What I've been through.
Just leave me be.
~Devil~
May 5, 2016
May 5, 2016 at 8:51 AM UTC
I am a human.
I am a furry.
I am a vampire.
I am strong.
I am smart.
I am honest.
I am protective.
I am hurt.
I am quiet.
I am me.
Mar 24, 2015
Mar 24, 2015 at 3:56 PM UTC
The life in the eyes of your savior.
The death in the eyes of the demon.
Both wanting your heart.
Your soul.
Your mind.
In a dark room.
Surrounded by these to beings.
One trying to keep you safe.
The other trying to destroy you.
The Demon running towards you.
Trying to rip out your soul
And devour it as your blood surrounds his mouth
And drips down his chin
Your savior pulling him back
Two blades appear in his hands
As he get ready to show the demon
He's here to keep me close to him.
"RUN! NOW!"
He yells as the demon comes after him
You do as he says
You turn back and find him
on the floor fighting back
as the demon's eyes burn red
with revenge in his eyes
You scream
"Leave him alone!"
"Get away from him!"
You run back to the side
of your handsome savior
Out of no where
You push the demon back
Pushing him across
The darkened endless room
Your eyes get wide
Surprised
About this new strength
Wondering where it came from
Feb 11, 2015
Feb 11, 2015 at 11:21 AM UTC
Someone message me D':
Im so bored.
I don't wanna be in class.
I just wanna go nap.
Someone one save me.
Take me into a daydream of freedom.
Please.
Somebody.
Anybody.
Come set me free.
Nov 19, 2014
Nov 19, 2014 at 12:57 PM UTC
Why even bother with life,
if its only filled with lies and disappointment
Nov 18, 2014
Nov 18, 2014 at 12:40 AM UTC
With blood shot eyes.
He watches her sleeping.
Tears not falling.
Crashing around him.
The music plays.
The drums pounding.
The voice seducing.
The guitar waling.
It's like your hypnotized.
Getting closer.
And closer.
And closer.
To the amazing sound of his voice.
Opens the door.
There he is.
So mesmerizing.
Don't look back.
Don't look away.
For he's there to steal you.
His arm around your waist.
His breath against your neck.
The chills that fill you.
His voice luring.
As you softly kiss his lips.
Your now under his control.
Nov 11, 2014
Nov 11, 2014 at 11:55 AM UTC
Romeo.
Juliet.
The twisted star crossed lovers that we all know.
They fought for each other.
They breathed for each other.
They became one.
Not looking back.
Not caring bout anything.
Not wanting to leave.
The day of the dance.
So fascinated.
Romeo's eyes on her.
Juliet dancing.
Smiling.
But something was missing inside.
In the dark night.
No one around.
He listens to her sweet voice.
Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo.
She's on the balcony.
Thinking of her sweet mystery man.
Nov 11, 2014
Nov 11, 2014 at 11:50 AM UTC
With love...
There's hope.
Death.
Pain.
All these different emotions.
The feel of your touch.
Your breath giving me chills.
Want you to never leave.
To stay close to me.
Love.
Hope.
Pain.
Death.
Nothing.
Love
For each other.
Hope
For forever.
Pain
For the past.
Death
Towards the future.
Nothing
In the end of life.
Chasing for something you believe in.
Through the snow,
The rain,
Ice.
Everything.
If I lay here waiting.
Waiting for you.
Will you take me in your arms.
Never let me go.
Nov 11, 2014
Nov 11, 2014 at 11:44 AM UTC