I'm a Feminist
But
My ovaries are in pain.
I'm a woman
But
I don't feel connected to my main vein.
I'm bleeding in places much deeper than my-
I'd say the word
But i'll refrain.
Instead of being taught to embrace,
I've learned to drown
In
The
Pain
Of
Being
A
woman.
Soft
Weak
Instead of
strong
And unique.
Instead of taking agency,
I'm treated like an antique.
Fragile,
Even though i've survived
Everything men told me...
(I'll leave you to ponder but
won't describe. )
I love being a woman,
But it's a love/hate relationship
I can't lie.
I take pride
But when my head hits the pillow,
I do cry.
In fact, I mourn.
I mourn the excitement society had for me when I was born.
Now i'm rejected,
Because of children i haven't ejected,
Penises i haven't erected,
a husband i haven't selected.
A pariah if you will,
But i have my own will.
Something women are shamed for because we feel,
Feel the need to take back our power
Because if we don't,
Someone else will,
Tell us
What to wear,
How to heal,
**** our souls until we cant feel,
Leaving us empty
Alone and afraid
Only to arrest us for a feminist parade.
I love being a woman
But my heart is in pain,
I find solace in the depths of a woman,
So I know i'll remain...
Aug 20, 2022
Aug 20, 2022 at 3:54 AM UTC
When I step,
I no longer drag darkness into the light.
I let go of the pain weighing me down,
To learn how to lift myself back up.
Jun 20, 2022
Jun 20, 2022 at 4:01 AM UTC
I can barely remember the last time I felt seen by a man.
Truly seen for what I was.
Passed the partying.
Passed the thirst traps.
Passed my naked body.
I carry a depth you can't see from the surface.
I carry pain you can never quite grasp.
I carry emotions with such passion,
Love is one to name.
I carry many parts of me hidden behind a self-constructed ivory tower.
But you saw it.
Briefly.
I had never felt so exposed,
But I reveled in it.
You were everything I thought I would never find,
But you were never mine.
Just a glimmer of hope.
Jun 20, 2022
Jun 20, 2022 at 3:56 AM UTC
Don't feel so special
I've been abused,
Forcefully used,
Yet you think you can blow my fuse?
Don't feel so special.
I've hacked & sliced at my own skin,
Barely living,
So thin,
But you worry if you hurt my grin,
Don't feel so special.
You could have called me every bad name under the sun,
shot me with a gun.
But I've hurt me, more than you've ever could.
So don't feel so special.
I don't need closure,
Unless its from stitches,
Mending the pieces I've broke from myself.
But the damage you've done,
Is nothing I haven't done to myself.
So don't feel sorry.
Hold your tears of guilt upon a shelf.
They mean nothing to me,
But only for yourself.
So don't feel so special.
You are nothing but another person who dared to hurt me,
But only hurt themself.
Jun 4, 2022
Jun 4, 2022 at 5:41 AM UTC
I wish apologies were rewinds
that could go back to that place in time.
& make everything alright.
To go back to that kiss,
In your arms,
And feel blanketed in your warmth...
But instead I think back to that point in time,
Where unfortunately there is no rewind.
Forgiveness is in my heart,
But it also remembers to tread lightly.
It makes me think.
Think about you.
Think about me.
Think about the way things used to be.
I wish apologies could take it all back,
but in reality there are no rewinds.
Thankfully,
Things continuously move forward.
Even with trepedity.
Jun 4, 2022
Jun 4, 2022 at 5:32 AM UTC
My heart shatters on the floor,
like the bullets of a school corridor.
The sound ricochets in my mind,
like the screams of a parents not able to pick their kid up in time.
We are at war with the reaper.
The one who hugs the bullet while it pierces through the air.
The same one who casts its scythe away,
because the gun was more American.
May 25, 2022
May 25, 2022 at 5:12 AM UTC
For the first time,
I realize I'm breathing.
Then I wonder if it's a fluke,
Sometimes the mind is deceiving.
The pain my chest once carried,
Gone with the wind.
I fear it'll come back,
So I wait-
levels of anxiety rising within.
When I look up,
I see that the cloud is finally gone.
But I'm still in disbelief,
because it's been there all along.
I can't remember a day that it didn't rain,
Until today.
Where is the pain?
I was consumed in it,
As it was the only surefire thing in my life.
Constant.
Never fleeting.
Til today.
Good riddance.
I'll still wear my rain coat,
keep a hand on my chest,
count every breath,
but for now I'm blessed.
Mar 11, 2022
Mar 11, 2022 at 7:16 AM UTC
I don't know how I feel...
So I write to try and make some sense of it all.
There are thoughts in the back of my head that make my skin crawl.
There isn't enough words to express all I try to emote,
So instead I write to keep afloat.
I gave up self harm,
a former vehichle of self expression,
So here I am writing to stave away my depression.
Mar 10, 2022
Mar 10, 2022 at 6:25 AM UTC
The Hopeless Romantic...
You lust me,
But you love me not.
I want to know your deepest secrets, and the passions that make your heart soar.
I want your love so much..
oh so much,
that it brings me to the floor.
I want to sleep next to you,
and write sweet poems about you when I can't sleep through the night.
Then I want to read them to you,
while you're awake,
So you can hold me tight.
But instead you choose the other girl.
Because you always do.
You'll swipe up on my pictures,
and tell me sweet nothings you think I want to hear...
Lust after my body,
as if my mind wasn't here.
I'm the girl you lust after,
not the girl you love.
I'm a hopless romantic,
because I know i'll never find someone who loves me for me...
Jan 8, 2022
Jan 8, 2022 at 7:41 AM UTC
It's been awhile since I thought about love.
I closed myself off to it,
And have yet to open up that door.
But I think about it now.
That must count for something,
Or maybe nothing.
But it's on my mind.
Love is a vulnerable place,
so intimate,
it's hard to find.
Made impossible to search for,
behind the door.
The one I closed.
Because I was too scared of the unknown.
But I have hope that i'll open it again one day.
I'll take it one day at a time.
Sep 22, 2021
Sep 22, 2021 at 5:20 AM UTC