Recovery is not
Simple
It's not being better
It's bumps in the road
Recovery is relapse
Going back to old habits
Because it's easier than
Coping
Recovery is hiding the
Pain because everyone else
Believes it's gone
For me
Recovery just
Isnt a reality
I'll likely die before
"It gets better"
Sep 29, 2017
Sep 29, 2017 at 1:18 PM UTC
Suicide is not a ***** word!
It's helplessness
It's feeling like an ending will
Benefit those around it
It is death for a cause
It's leaving behind a world
That refused to believe in
Struggle they can't see
Depression is not a ***** word!
It's a vortex of
Emptiness
Swirling through my veins
Smiles that fail to hide the pain
A sadness that ***** the
Joy from daily activity
Preventing me from
Doing more than merely existing
Anxiety is not a ***** word!
It's an abundance of mental energy
Keeping me up late at night
It's consuming
Nerves that never leave
Thoughts you can't shake
Despite how they've shaken you
Mental health is not *****
Its's not something that should be
Wrong or
Frowned upon
We need to change this narrative
Because it's not a death sentence
And we don't need to be outcasts
Acceptance goes a long way
Sep 28, 2017
Sep 28, 2017 at 9:44 AM UTC
Dear muse
I know I said
This was over but
There are still things
Left unsaid
Things you need to know
I can't just leave
Everything we had behind us
It meant
So much to me
We were friends for
Six years and I
Thought that meant something
Maybe our friendship
Could come first
You threw
Everything away and
Wonder why I'm hurt
I loved you so much
Somehow still do
I would give everything to
Be with you
You know so
Much about me
The things I told you are all real
I want you back
In my life
We had something good
Dear muse
I deserve answers
The least you could do
Is tell me the truth so I can
Finally let go
Of what we
Used to be
Apr 2, 2017
Apr 2, 2017 at 11:11 AM UTC
Dear Mitch
You are the
Realest part of me
Even though you don't exist
Nobody accepts you, and
I am sorry
Sorry you won't find the
Happiness we deserve
I am holding on
Mostly for you to
See if you will
Thrive in a world I'm floundering in
I know parts of you
Mitch, you are happy
Living in a body that is scar free
You have a future
One beyond your
Twenties and Thirties
You have a zest for life
One that I am losing
This body
This life
It's yours to take
I need you
I hope one day
The world understands
Why you are so much
Better more
Deserving
Of this life than me
Mar 23, 2017
Mar 23, 2017 at 4:34 PM UTC
Scars slowly fading away
An urge that feels
Impossible to beat
This battle that is a
Constant loss
Butchered skin waiting
Questioning
Will I be whole?
Should these
Wounds be reopened
Blade is a
Poisonous addiction
Maybe I'm not
Sorry
I started
Couldn't help that
Life got out of control
Aided in the beginning
Refused to let it end
It's sad really
Relapse I mean
Three years
Clean
Blade called out to me
Will it ever be over?
Will I ever stop
Scaring my body
Will I ever
Learn how to
Love this person I am or
Will I die trying to
Figure it out?
Mar 23, 2017
Mar 23, 2017 at 4:15 PM UTC
Dear muse
I am done
Beating myself up
Over your decisions
You could have
Done better
Made time for us
Kept a friendship
You could have stayed
Should have stayed
This has
Taken up
Too much of my life
Swallowed me whole
It's been over
Longer than I've
Been willing to admit
It's not like I
Moved on in a week
Even if I had moved
So fast from you
It's not as bad as
Leaving when we
Were us
When he loved
Each other to the end
All the lies
Have eaten me up
For such a long time
Distance ****** but we
Could have figured it out
I don't need to
Scar my skin
Starve my body
Lose my mind for
Someone who
Played me and
Wouldn't actually
Care
If I was gone
Dear muse
I have moved on
Found parts of myself
Thought long gone
Discovered my
Passion for writing
Dear muse
Yes there's someone new
But don't think
I've totally
Forgiven and forgotten you
Mar 23, 2017
Mar 23, 2017 at 1:40 PM UTC
Dear muse
Is this the end?
Will my mind finally
Withdraw from the
Memories clinging
These memories need to be
Burnt with the rest of my heart
Crumble and disappear
A wisp of smoke
I still don't know
Whats real
Too many unanswered
Questions words
Wanting to be spoken
Dear muse
I am
Tired of this
You refuse to say
You were wrong
Admit you caused
This pain
Mar 21, 2017
Mar 21, 2017 at 11:30 PM UTC
Dear muse
How could you
Act like you
Never knew me
Act like we never
Had anything
You can't just block me
Pretend I don't exist or have feelings
Pretend that it all
Meant less than nothing
It hurts
So ******* much
That it could
Get me in trouble
Dear muse
You treated me
So very wrong
Im scared
Someones treating me right
Mar 20, 2017
Mar 20, 2017 at 2:45 PM UTC
Dear muse
I hate the way
It feels
Like nothing
We had was real
We definitely had
Something special
Between us two
Even if it was
Just friends I
Never had anyone
Like you in life
I thought we would
Last forever
Have a love that
Refused to die out
I wanted us
To be together
To have a life
To feel love
Us two together
Dear muse
I hate writing about us
In past tense
Hate what we had
Is over now
I hope someday
We find our way back
Mar 14, 2017
Mar 14, 2017 at 1:34 PM UTC
Dear muse
I didnt really
Believe
In love before you
Proved me wrong
We were right together
Just us separate
From the world around us
Me and you
We had forever
Its not all
Hateful animosity
Its more like
Confusion and
Regrets
Eating away at me
What changed?
Did it mean
Anything to you?
Was this all
In my head?
Dear muse
I just want
Answers to
Move on and be
Happy
Stop blaming myself
For your actions
Mar 13, 2017
Mar 13, 2017 at 12:41 PM UTC