Thirty and a few days
it's come this far
and feeling as if
already halfway there:
is this crisis?
forget all i'd loved
forget this i've cherished
c'est la vie
say less to me
and sail i might
like magellan,
erik, his son leif,
i'll leave soon
for that spice
cowper said
gives life all its flavor
oh, billy boy
you might've been onto something
but my heart's will
disagrees
with my penchant
for curious wild imagination
and dreams
and all that could have been
all swept by wind
as sand in a gale.
Oct 7, 2024
Oct 7, 2024 at 5:06 AM UTC
Singing the way rain sings
in a deluge of dawn fog,
driving through like cutting knife--
a hot blade in butter--
this engine putters
and pushes on,
sweet, so sweet the tune,
lost in a mist
his voice echoes
like billowing clouds,
she rests on her pillows
in wait,
for he'll be home soon.
Jan 3, 2021
Jan 3, 2021 at 1:48 PM UTC
I don’t know that I trust myself
To keep my brains like a raw egg
When the time comes (when I’m supposed to know what to do)
And not to crack my skull,
See my brains drip into the bowl,
Mix them up for a broken yolk,
And then pour them into the pan
So they can scram(ble.)
Sometimes I wonder
If I’ll have to salt them
or add any pepper
or just dig in.
Sometimes I hunger
To know everything
Sometimes I feel so engorged
I’d rather know nothing.
The worst part is not knowing
That the worst part is knowing.
I want to hate my own guts
But that’s--that's utterly nuts,
For it’s never the guts
Should be disdained—
It’s the yolk in my egg, or
The stuff in my brains in my head.
Apr 13, 2018
Apr 13, 2018 at 8:41 PM UTC
All we love is lost
in lusterless light--
like a lunar colorscale--
when care is forgot.
Take good care,
lest y' lose what y' love.
Jan 23, 2018
Jan 23, 2018 at 3:21 AM UTC
[Part 1]
So far behind
Though it seems I lead the pack
My heart does beat
My lungs, they breathe right back
I am alive.
Sometimes it is as if
Death has arrived at my door
Progress has come to a halt
My dreams deprived of anything more
Am I alive?
I am become a stagnant pond
Where wind will howl not,
nor warmth bid his welcome---
The cold, it chills the marrow of my bones
Am I dead?
From my purgatorial porch, I perch to view the news,
My peers about me move along with time
Whilst I float in drollery, prentending to flow the same---
Apparently convincingly so
I cannot be dead.
Mind and muscle try, but do not succeed
There is no regress,
But they dig a deep ditch,
Down in which I have made my mess---
I am stuck.
[Part 2]
Each success is one step ahead
Each failure, three lessons to learn
Overcoming mistakes should put them to bed
And the next two steps are two steps earned
I can get out!
Eyes see forward, not behind
Let the brain leave the bad in the back of its mind
So then it may focus on what it has gained
The next few steps are the few that remain
I am alive!
[Part 3]
So far behind
Though it seems I've led the pack
I need not worry
To accept the gruesome facts
I will make it!
I am not standing water
Nor am I stuck between life and death
I am alive, *********
Hear me take a breath!
I just have to snap out of it and get back to walking.
Jun 21, 2017
Jun 21, 2017 at 5:50 PM UTC
When I was three years old,
I came face-to-face with Allen Ginsberg for the very first time.
I hated him.
In my own little three-year-old way,
I thought he was a mean, rude, nasty, ornery old son of a *****
But when I turned twenty, I learned the truth:
He was a fearless, bold, no ******** old son of a ***** he wasn't the only one.
The world wasn't meant to be seen through rose-colored glasses,
but to be witnessed on our feet in the present and off our lazy *****
Mankind was meant to live and die
in an adventure, seeking peace through trials of wrong and right,
not to bask in a stagnant bath, nor stop in the midst of a path
to a future bright, though out of sight,
for this is no way to thrive,
but to live and die a treacherous lie.
Here in the first world, we are afraid to suffer,
but eager to ****
to conquer,
to ignore internal issues.
[Pay no mind to the men behind the curtain, the have their own agendas, and we allowed this--- we voted them in!]
We are afraid to be wrong,
but fearless to fight
a battle with no true end in sight.
We will never fix the problem,
nor repair the damage we create,
if we all just sit on down,
grab our egos and **********
[Spoiler Alert:
There will be no ****** no explosions of mental *** no parade, just ******** horseshit, and all the other **** that comes along when we bite off more than we can chew and still force it through our systems;
blow it out your ***** and let's get a move on,
we've got things to do and places to be!]
We talk in circles,
we talk of change,
we talk making a difference,
we talk in circles...
see what I'm say'n'?
Politicians are a sham,
Real people lose the race, whether slow and steady, or fastly-paced,
so they **** out of it all,
as they had no business running in the first place.
We the people are dis-
organized
and dYsFU[ckIng fu]nctIonal;
all too lazy to gang up and be the CHANGE we seek,
so we
file
in
line
and fight over our spots to sit in a seat on a ship sailing its way south
d
o
w
n
Shit's-fuckin'-Creek.
In twenty--- hell, thirty, forty, fifty years,
we've made little progress,
but we've got iPhones and Wi-Fi, and people going to Mars,
We've got technology never before imagined standard in our cars!
Now, ain't that just swell,
ain't that spectacular?
We're all going to hell
for ******* our own blood from our own ***** like an auto-fellating, narcissistical Dracular.
What do we do? Where do we go from here?
If Ginsberg, Bukowski, Poe, Dante, Plato, Socrates, Freud, ****** Christ, Caesar, Shakespeare, Lincoln, Lee, Brooks[1], Miller[2], my parents, Mr. Pete Rose, Franklin, all my friends, and a million other folks taught me anything,
it's that we're all ********
we're all sinners,
we're all losers, occasional winners,
we're all ********
we're all wrong, though sometimes right,
we all live,
we all die,
we've all got **** going on in our lives---
and what I've learned from all this,
was that I can do better,
YOU can do better,
we can ALL do better than we are doing right now,
that we are each unique, but we are no different from one another, we are human beings;
we can learn and teach, and we must do this always,
from day, through night and to each and ever other day.
But the most important lesson above all:
Don't be such a ***** whatever you DO do,
simply try to understand,
for all the world's fate is in our own
feeble, but hopefully growing hands.
Apr 15, 2017
Apr 15, 2017 at 12:34 AM UTC
A thought, off the top o' my head--
't rings aloud like the crack o' thunder,
then 't bangs around, and 'tis no wonder
I'll get no sleep 'til I am dead!
The tremendous ache,
the pounding pain,
an evil, Abel-less, headly Cain,
a godless, disastrous, Earthless quake--
I'd just like some sleep!
"Rise, my body" calls out my brain,
"we've got t' write all o' this down!"--
but yet, still a clamor at my crown.
A pen and pad I 'wake t' grab,
Then my thoughts go down the drain!
Int' the cabinet t' pinch a pill,
I take 't with juice,
relax and loose,
and wait for the pain to finally ****
Off t' sleep just one more time,
then another thought my mind comes to,
I whisper t' myself "oh, shoo! shoo! shoo!"
but it stays, it stays-- such a tragic crime!
I'd just like some sleep!
Mar 17, 2017
Mar 17, 2017 at 11:12 PM UTC
Come on and dance with me
It’s easy if you try
Come on and dance with me
Follow my lead and glide
Slip in the mud
Racing through your blood
You’re as good as gone
Drifting away with eyes half-shut
Come on and dance with me
It’s easy if you try
Come on and dance with me
You’re stepping out of time
It’s a living Hell
Cold sweats, puke, and pain
Your skin goes blue
When you drink the blackened rain
Do you want to dance with me?
It’s easy if you try
Come on and dance with me
As we fall down from the sky
Oh, come on and dance with me
It’s easy if you try
Come on now, dance with me
And I’ll shiver down your spine
The warmth is gone
The rush is fleeting away
You’ve nodded off
For the last time
You’ve come here to dance with me
So give me your best try
You've tread upon my dancing shoes
It’s now your time to die
Come on and dance with me
It’s easy if you try
Now, tell me 'bout your dance with death
Was it worth the high?
Come on and dance with me--
Jan 27, 2017
Jan 27, 2017 at 5:46 PM UTC