delusionist - Hello Poetry

if god can sacrifice himself for his people's sake, then i can sacrifice my somewhat well being to help the man that started this all. for what feels like eternity now, the unbreakable grip i have had on his god ****** heart had gotten tighter and tighter to the point where it has become something so opposite of a stress ball, more like a therapy for the ill minded. there are permanent indents of my own ****** clenched fists in his chest from the many times i have screamed and cried begging to ask, "is this what you wanted?" his voice only lingers with echoes of my misery but he still laughs at every single word that escapes my mouth. i hope you read this and if you do, look at the bruises on your chest and tell me, straight to my tear-dried, sober face that they do not burn after reading each word of this time wasting piece of trash. consider this a eulogy for your mind and eyes. i yield all my time to your blank stares, and stuttering breaths. - m.n.

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May 20, 2014

May 20, 2014 at 10:06 PM UTC

something beyond heartache

if god can sacrifice himself for his people's sake, then i can sacrifice my somewhat well being to help the man that started this all. for what feels like eternity now, the unbreakable grip i have had on his god ****** heart had gotten tighter and tighter to the point where it has become something so opposite of a stress ball, more like a therapy for the ill minded. there are permanent indents of my own ****** clenched fists in his chest from the many times i have screamed and cried begging to ask, "is this what you wanted?" his voice only lingers with echoes of my misery but he still laughs at every single word that escapes my mouth. i hope you read this and if you do, look at the bruises on your chest and tell me, straight to my tear-dried, sober face that they do not burn after reading each word of this time wasting piece of trash. consider this a eulogy for your mind and eyes. i yield all my time to your blank stares, and stuttering breaths. - m.n.

15

the butterflies no longer flutter around in my belly they've all drowned in the deep gray-like sea of angst and exceeding worries. your hands still continue to wrap around my wretched heart like grape vines, lingering around connecting, linking, catching a grip. please tell me a remedy to this disease perhaps your touch or your presence or maybe even a slight snippet of your voice. can diminish this ****** cloud of dissatisfaction - m.n.

0

Feb 11, 2014

Feb 11, 2014 at 7:48 PM UTC

suffocation

the butterflies no longer flutter around in my belly they've all drowned in the deep gray-like sea of angst and exceeding worries. your hands still continue to wrap around my wretched heart like grape vines, lingering around connecting, linking, catching a grip. please tell me a remedy to this disease perhaps your touch or your presence or maybe even a slight snippet of your voice. can diminish this ****** cloud of dissatisfaction - m.n.

12

let us smoke together and burn ashes into the solid ground of hell beneath us let us drink the addictive poison until the tears we cry are solid pure liquor let us get a permanent high off of each other's gratitude towards how we spend the last of our lives let us finally enjoy the vitalities we've been eager to release to each other let us do things no other atrocious pair would even bluntly think about doing. make yourself even more irresistible to me and I'll make you look at me the same way you look at the most beautiful, delicate piece of poetry - m.n.

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Jan 17, 2014

Jan 17, 2014 at 10:36 PM UTC

desires

let us smoke together and burn ashes into the solid ground of hell beneath us let us drink the addictive poison until the tears we cry are solid pure liquor let us get a permanent high off of each other's gratitude towards how we spend the last of our lives let us finally enjoy the vitalities we've been eager to release to each other let us do things no other atrocious pair would even bluntly think about doing. make yourself even more irresistible to me and I'll make you look at me the same way you look at the most beautiful, delicate piece of poetry - m.n.

16

my delusional mind has committed vacancy for not quite a while, yet i've grown dull of it. three to four years ago i was always thinking don't get me wrong, i think twice as much now but not like how i used to, just empty thoughts. i've had people come and go, renovating areas leaving permanent fixtures that unfortunately, cannot be replenished i just hope for a full remodeling someday a new outlook on this whole forsaken catastrophe mistakenly, im just lucidly dreaming a thriving desire of mine that's too good to be true. - m.n.

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Dec 29, 2013

Dec 29, 2013 at 9:01 PM UTC

reconstructive

my delusional mind has committed vacancy for not quite a while, yet i've grown dull of it. three to four years ago i was always thinking don't get me wrong, i think twice as much now but not like how i used to, just empty thoughts. i've had people come and go, renovating areas leaving permanent fixtures that unfortunately, cannot be replenished i just hope for a full remodeling someday a new outlook on this whole forsaken catastrophe mistakenly, im just lucidly dreaming a thriving desire of mine that's too good to be true. - m.n.

13

for the past months the thin veins in my arms have been ruptured and scarred due to unhealthy habits of distasteful breakdowns. drunk on absolute insanity intoxicated from the feel of misery i always hope for this to take it's last turn unfortunately it is one straight road a long road of wretched nights and messy sinks - m.n.

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Dec 17, 2013

Dec 17, 2013 at 9:49 PM UTC

intoxicated

for the past months the thin veins in my arms have been ruptured and scarred due to unhealthy habits of distasteful breakdowns. drunk on absolute insanity intoxicated from the feel of misery i always hope for this to take it's last turn unfortunately it is one straight road a long road of wretched nights and messy sinks - m.n.

10

evolving that's what you are but you aren't becoming complex you're becoming a state of pleasure at least for me of course your poems your words i admire with such passion i think i should explain that you're more like a fascinating distraction - m.n.

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Nov 11, 2013

Nov 11, 2013 at 11:26 AM UTC

evolving

evolving that's what you are but you aren't becoming complex you're becoming a state of pleasure at least for me of course your poems your words i admire with such passion i think i should explain that you're more like a fascinating distraction - m.n.

10

it's more than "butterflies in my stomach" you give me a feeling of desirability where exactly did you come from it's not like you just randomly appeared i thought miracles wouldn't happen to me but then you formed up to be a blessing i guess you could say you're irresistible "the one" or maybe i'll take things too far and make a fool of myself but at least ill still know you longing for your attention and rapture - m.n.

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Nov 7, 2013

Nov 7, 2013 at 10:06 PM UTC

aroused

it's more than "butterflies in my stomach" you give me a feeling of desirability where exactly did you come from it's not like you just randomly appeared i thought miracles wouldn't happen to me but then you formed up to be a blessing i guess you could say you're irresistible "the one" or maybe i'll take things too far and make a fool of myself but at least ill still know you longing for your attention and rapture - m.n.

13

a mellow day of sweet sorrow wondering if there'll ever be a better tomorrow i never realized that i could be so helpless thinking worse, leaving me breathless a wave of shock runs through my body, the same face presented like a carbon copy that's when it disconnected the phone dropped and the news was unexpected -m.n.

0

Sep 25, 2013

Sep 25, 2013 at 6:04 PM UTC

disconnected

a mellow day of sweet sorrow wondering if there'll ever be a better tomorrow i never realized that i could be so helpless thinking worse, leaving me breathless a wave of shock runs through my body, the same face presented like a carbon copy that's when it disconnected the phone dropped and the news was unexpected -m.n.

9