deepdownintothedarkeness

I'm caught in the middle of everything, Everything bad, People are tense and angry, Even thought it wasn't my fault I still have to deal with the affects of it, Not my fault but my problem to solve, They need to get their **** together, I don't have the key, I'm simply a teen trying to pass school, Even the dog doesn't want to be in my presence, I feel like **** My eyes hurt, I can't cry, I'm forced to be the person who solves it who keeps the house together, Soon I'll have to cook dinner not because I want to but becaus eif I don't they won't eat, Because I'm the only one who can put a meal together when she's gone, Because if I wasn't here to cook they'd get drive through or not eat, Because they "don't have the time" to cook, Because when she's gone I have to step in as the "mom", Because my real mom left to take care of herself once, I have to fill in because they can't do it themselves, I'm caught in a fight I'm not a part of, Something I didn't cause, Can't leave, Forced to be caught.

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May 17

May 17, 2026 at 4:33 PM UTC

Caught

I'm caught in the middle of everything, Everything bad, People are tense and angry, Even thought it wasn't my fault I still have to deal with the affects of it, Not my fault but my problem to solve, They need to get their **** together, I don't have the key, I'm simply a teen trying to pass school, Even the dog doesn't want to be in my presence, I feel like **** My eyes hurt, I can't cry, I'm forced to be the person who solves it who keeps the house together, Soon I'll have to cook dinner not because I want to but becaus eif I don't they won't eat, Because I'm the only one who can put a meal together when she's gone, Because if I wasn't here to cook they'd get drive through or not eat, Because they "don't have the time" to cook, Because when she's gone I have to step in as the "mom", Because my real mom left to take care of herself once, I have to fill in because they can't do it themselves, I'm caught in a fight I'm not a part of, Something I didn't cause, Can't leave, Forced to be caught.

24

The tears won't come, Not enough hurt to cry, Too much pain to smile, So I'm stuck in between nothing and everything, Blamed for **** I didn't do, Anger runs rampant in a household, Frustration takes hold of a family, Nothing left but tense in a once tight knit household, Forgotten those once beloved memories of shared happiness, Family means nothing except frustration, anger, and tense rooms, Family, The blood that bonds us means nothing, Anger severs ties between loved ones, Blame makes memories seen with a black and white film, Don't let anger and frustration consume you and turn to hatred, Don't let a film of black and white cover the photos in your mind that are memories, Blood ties aren't forever without care, Take heed and nurture those bonds built in blood and shared genetics.

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May 3

May 3, 2026 at 12:22 PM UTC

Family

The tears won't come, Not enough hurt to cry, Too much pain to smile, So I'm stuck in between nothing and everything, Blamed for **** I didn't do, Anger runs rampant in a household, Frustration takes hold of a family, Nothing left but tense in a once tight knit household, Forgotten those once beloved memories of shared happiness, Family means nothing except frustration, anger, and tense rooms, Family, The blood that bonds us means nothing, Anger severs ties between loved ones, Blame makes memories seen with a black and white film, Don't let anger and frustration consume you and turn to hatred, Don't let a film of black and white cover the photos in your mind that are memories, Blood ties aren't forever without care, Take heed and nurture those bonds built in blood and shared genetics.

18

I can't stop taking care, Needing to make sure they're ok, Can't stop the worry from seeping into my veins, my bones, and my soul, Can't think of myself when you struggle, I can't sleep when I know you're struggling to keep your heart beating, Can't sleep when the last time I slept I woke up to you being taken by ambulance, I can't stop the stress from seeping into my heart, Because you're always in my heart and I never stop thinking about you, So will I stop being a caregiver, No, Never, I won't stop being a caregiver because it's who I am, All I know to be in cases of anxiety, To be helpful is to have purpose, Without helping makes me a pair of dull scissors useless to anyone trying to open something, So I will forever be a caregiver.

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Apr 26

Apr 26, 2026 at 9:16 PM UTC

Caregiver

I can't stop taking care, Needing to make sure they're ok, Can't stop the worry from seeping into my veins, my bones, and my soul, Can't think of myself when you struggle, I can't sleep when I know you're struggling to keep your heart beating, Can't sleep when the last time I slept I woke up to you being taken by ambulance, I can't stop the stress from seeping into my heart, Because you're always in my heart and I never stop thinking about you, So will I stop being a caregiver, No, Never, I won't stop being a caregiver because it's who I am, All I know to be in cases of anxiety, To be helpful is to have purpose, Without helping makes me a pair of dull scissors useless to anyone trying to open something, So I will forever be a caregiver.

16

Nothing and everything, Silence fills the room while warm wetness rolls down my cheeks, Darkness covers the sight of the silent tears that keep falling, They won't be held back but as they fall I stare blankly into the black void of my bedroom after midnight, To any outsider it would seem these tears fell from nowhere, But if you where inside my head, In my brain, Where the major wars occur you'd see I had a reason, But no one sees that reason, No one sees the image of me submerging into a warm bath as the bubbles stop rising to the surface, No one hears the note I'm writing to make sure my family knows it's not their fault, No one sees the blood on my wrists not yet shed, No one sees the ideas floating around in my head, No one hears the thought out plan everything I can and can't do to myself.

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Apr 7

Apr 7, 2026 at 9:06 PM UTC

Midnight Darkness

Nothing and everything, Silence fills the room while warm wetness rolls down my cheeks, Darkness covers the sight of the silent tears that keep falling, They won't be held back but as they fall I stare blankly into the black void of my bedroom after midnight, To any outsider it would seem these tears fell from nowhere, But if you where inside my head, In my brain, Where the major wars occur you'd see I had a reason, But no one sees that reason, No one sees the image of me submerging into a warm bath as the bubbles stop rising to the surface, No one hears the note I'm writing to make sure my family knows it's not their fault, No one sees the blood on my wrists not yet shed, No one sees the ideas floating around in my head, No one hears the thought out plan everything I can and can't do to myself.

14

I wanna change, Change everything about me. But at the same time I'm afraid of changing, Who am I? I don't know, I keep getting asked all these questions I can't answer, Who are you? Who do you want to be? I don't know and honestly I'm not sure if I care anymore, I hate myself more everyday, But I hate change more than I hate myself, I don't know what the **** I'm doing, I'm scared of everything, I don't truly live I just exist, I abide by the rules but I'm kind of sick of being boring at the same time, This **** ***** and I know it won't get better because I won't change.

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Mar 9

Mar 9, 2026 at 7:27 PM UTC

Change

I wanna change, Change everything about me. But at the same time I'm afraid of changing, Who am I? I don't know, I keep getting asked all these questions I can't answer, Who are you? Who do you want to be? I don't know and honestly I'm not sure if I care anymore, I hate myself more everyday, But I hate change more than I hate myself, I don't know what the **** I'm doing, I'm scared of everything, I don't truly live I just exist, I abide by the rules but I'm kind of sick of being boring at the same time, This **** ***** and I know it won't get better because I won't change.

16

Nothing feels the same, I'm scared of myself, Scared for myself, Everyday I continue this way it worsens the fear deep inside, I feel nothing inside, I relate more everyday to songs no one should ever relate to, I only cry under the cover of darkness, When nothing but snores can be heard,' When sleep babbling is common, In the home that I share with my family, Change is inevitable, Change makes me want to make everything always stay the same No one knows the war I fight in my head battling the dark thoughts away, While I sit in silence and zone out at the table they're conversing, They don't know the things going on in my head, They don't know why I hate silence, Or why I talk to myself, They just think I'm weird, They won't know until I do something I can't take back, Till my last tear falls, They'll never know and I'll never tell them.

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Feb 20

Feb 20, 2026 at 5:20 PM UTC

Inside my mind

Nothing feels the same, I'm scared of myself, Scared for myself, Everyday I continue this way it worsens the fear deep inside, I feel nothing inside, I relate more everyday to songs no one should ever relate to, I only cry under the cover of darkness, When nothing but snores can be heard,' When sleep babbling is common, In the home that I share with my family, Change is inevitable, Change makes me want to make everything always stay the same No one knows the war I fight in my head battling the dark thoughts away, While I sit in silence and zone out at the table they're conversing, They don't know the things going on in my head, They don't know why I hate silence, Or why I talk to myself, They just think I'm weird, They won't know until I do something I can't take back, Till my last tear falls, They'll never know and I'll never tell them.

21

I feel nothing, Yet at the same time I feel everything at once, I'm alone, Yet never left alone, Always told to help do things, But deep inside all I want to do is cry, Alone, Under the cover of darkness, Because no one sees my pain, When I cannot explain, Why would they?, I have no words for things I cannot understand, Maybe it's me being "attention seeking", Or simply a "stupid kid" with no grasp of emotions, I'm not sure, I just feel alone in a sea of people who don't see my pain, What's going on inside my head, Because no one cares about my internal issues, The **** that doesn't show on the outside, Maybe one day they'll understand, Even if it's not written in blood just yet.

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Feb 20

Feb 20, 2026 at 5:09 PM UTC

Feel

I feel nothing, Yet at the same time I feel everything at once, I'm alone, Yet never left alone, Always told to help do things, But deep inside all I want to do is cry, Alone, Under the cover of darkness, Because no one sees my pain, When I cannot explain, Why would they?, I have no words for things I cannot understand, Maybe it's me being "attention seeking", Or simply a "stupid kid" with no grasp of emotions, I'm not sure, I just feel alone in a sea of people who don't see my pain, What's going on inside my head, Because no one cares about my internal issues, The **** that doesn't show on the outside, Maybe one day they'll understand, Even if it's not written in blood just yet.

21

I'm tired of feeling tired, Alone, I call myself an artist but I can't figure out how to draw the numb loneliness, Even if it's all I experience, Being alone makes me think more, I've realized thinking is bad, I condition myself to know that thinking is my version of self harm, The thoughts that swim through my head could eat me alive, Always distracted, Feeling alone, Seeming irrelevant, No one can solve me, I'm a puzzle that lacks pieces needed to complete it.

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Feb 20

Feb 20, 2026 at 5:00 PM UTC

Thoughts

I'm tired of feeling tired, Alone, I call myself an artist but I can't figure out how to draw the numb loneliness, Even if it's all I experience, Being alone makes me think more, I've realized thinking is bad, I condition myself to know that thinking is my version of self harm, The thoughts that swim through my head could eat me alive, Always distracted, Feeling alone, Seeming irrelevant, No one can solve me, I'm a puzzle that lacks pieces needed to complete it.

13

Sorry for the times I push away, Sorry for the lack of emotion, Sorry for hating myself, Sorry for not loving you enough, Sorry for hiding my feelings, Sorry for acting like I’m ok, Sorry doesn’t fix what’s wrong, Sorry doesn’t make me feel better for being a ****** careless person pushing away everyone when feeling numb to keep others from seeing the pain inside, Sorry won’t help, Promises won’t fix it, Sitting and listening helps, Mental health is unpredictable mixed with teenage hormones, Life isn’t simple, It doesn’t have one path set out for you, All you can do is roll with it, Work with the hurt, Find your people who can help, There’s no cure or instant solution, It’s a constant battle, A race of one’s own mental state, Not a losing battle, Not a broken person, Just in need of some help, When your soul seems to abandon emotion true friends shine through, The real family not made by blood but by relation, The family will fall into place when you least expect it, They won’t accept a, “sorry for not feeling,” They will comfort you without guilting you for feeling or not feeling, They make life worth it, They make it easier to say sorry less, They make it seem as though you don’t have to say sorry for existing, For being human, For having issues, They just care, So to all the Sorry stoppers and comforters who keep the unstable alive we love you, need you, and care deeply about you.

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Feb 19

Feb 19, 2026 at 9:55 PM UTC

Sorry

Sorry for the times I push away, Sorry for the lack of emotion, Sorry for hating myself, Sorry for not loving you enough, Sorry for hiding my feelings, Sorry for acting like I’m ok, Sorry doesn’t fix what’s wrong, Sorry doesn’t make me feel better for being a ****** careless person pushing away everyone when feeling numb to keep others from seeing the pain inside, Sorry won’t help, Promises won’t fix it, Sitting and listening helps, Mental health is unpredictable mixed with teenage hormones, Life isn’t simple, It doesn’t have one path set out for you, All you can do is roll with it, Work with the hurt, Find your people who can help, There’s no cure or instant solution, It’s a constant battle, A race of one’s own mental state, Not a losing battle, Not a broken person, Just in need of some help, When your soul seems to abandon emotion true friends shine through, The real family not made by blood but by relation, The family will fall into place when you least expect it, They won’t accept a, “sorry for not feeling,” They will comfort you without guilting you for feeling or not feeling, They make life worth it, They make it easier to say sorry less, They make it seem as though you don’t have to say sorry for existing, For being human, For having issues, They just care, So to all the Sorry stoppers and comforters who keep the unstable alive we love you, need you, and care deeply about you.

35