So, there's this boy that I like.
He's everything I could want in a guy.
And there's this boy that I love.
He's everything I could want in a guy.
They're best friends.
They're both falling harder for me every day.
This
is
Stressful.
Nov 13, 2012
Nov 13, 2012 at 9:48 PM UTC
The cycle goes on and on, but I don't know how to stop.
I don't know how to control myself.
I don't know how to be normal. I don't know how to care less about the way I look.
The slight changes get to me.
The gained 0.1 lbs.
The stressed fabric of my jeans.
The inability to look away from the mirror.
I'm not anorexic, I'm just critical.
Nov 13, 2012
Nov 13, 2012 at 9:44 PM UTC
I walk through these hallways.
So silent. Just trying to get to class.
I move at a quick pace because I can't stand
To see everyone look away as I pass.
I sit down alone in the back of the room.
I pay attention to the teacher,
But sometimes I zone out.
Sometimes I think about boys, or hair,
Or all of the people who refuse to care.
The sub gives us busy work, so I look around the room.
I see everyone chatting and having
Their pointless teenage conversations.
I do my work silently until the bell rings. It's too easy.
I move from class to class,
Just hoping the time will pass
A little faster than it usually does.
Nothing really matters anymore, really.
My friends don't talk to me.
My ex boyfriend just looks at me funny.
I obsess over my weight; my hair; my skin.
I am not used to this. I am not used to changing all the time.
I used to be outgoing; magnificent; popular; funny.
Now I'm just awkward; quiet; alone; unhappy.
High school makes me miserable,
but at least I have good grades.
Nov 13, 2012
Nov 13, 2012 at 9:32 PM UTC