I hope she was worth
All of my effort
All of my strength
All of my sacrifice
I hope she was worth
All of my sleepless nights
All the joy
All the tears
All my plans for us
I hope she was worth
Five seconds of *********
In exchange for five years
My feelings were true
And it truly hurts
To know that I was worth
Nothing but a quick *****
Mar 10, 2021
Mar 10, 2021 at 9:16 AM UTC
You have walked by my side
From the time I was a child
You are a beauty
Dark and ugly
Just like me
You are suppression
You are fear
You scream out loud
Everything I don't want to hear
My little light
Is shrouded by you
Take my tiny hand
We'll walk this life together
A knowing nod to you
As I stare in the mirror
Little Demon
You are mine
Sit on my shoulder
Til the day I die.
Mar 10, 2021
Mar 10, 2021 at 9:01 AM UTC
Forgive me
I am on the mend
My vagus nerve
Seemingly cut
Has made it difficult
For me to breathe
The blow was sudden
The pain severe
What's the consequence
Of a severed nerve?
One of such importance?
An irregular heartbeat,
Unbridled anxiety,
Laborious speaking,
An ambush attack.
The day before
I was loved
And now I am not
Mar 5, 2021
Mar 5, 2021 at 2:09 PM UTC
Those words spoken long ago
I choked them down dry and raw
Now I find regurgitation
To be the only way
In avoiding asphyxiation
Belief is one thing
Reality another
A monster when combined
Some call it "Love"
Some call it a "Lie"
Delusion is jelly-thick
You know what tastes nice?
Reclusion.
I poisoned myself on hope and seclusion
Love, may you gag on my rotting flesh
My eyes have opened
My mouth agape
Choked out from love's embrace
Mar 5, 2021
Mar 5, 2021 at 1:04 PM UTC
Death is merely
Emptying the Goblet of Life
Back into the carafe
From which it came
I am bitter wine
Aging on borrowed time
Mar 19, 2019
Mar 19, 2019 at 6:44 PM UTC
In your absence,
I have learned many a thing on my own:
How to feed a family,
How to dress a wound,
How to console the broken-hearted,
How to press a shirt,
How to count by fives,
What creams to apply for itchy hives,
How to listen for cars on the road,
How to lighten a parental load.
Physically you were there,
But not as a loving unit,
More like aberrations,
You sat there in your depression,
On your king sized bed,
Time slipped by,
Many nights I sat alone and cried.
Now you don't know your twenty-something daughter.
In your presence I learned to love,
In a warped and twisted manner.
A trail of men lay lifeless behind me,
Bodies twisted, faces contorted in agony,
I ****** them dry,
My life has too much turmoil for most to bear,
But that's alright, I'm used to people not being there.
You fantasize about a relationship with me,
But it's too late,
I'm the daughter you refused to see.
These showers of praise from you are lies from snakes,
A few dollars here and there is all you think it takes,
To undo a life of torment,
Well...
You are mistaken.
In your absence I have learned many a thing,
How to hold a hand,
How to speak my mind,
How tightly abandonment actually binds.
Apr 28, 2018
Apr 28, 2018 at 1:09 PM UTC
Silver tongued serpent,
Emerald-eyed warlock,
When he speaks, the crowds will surely flock,
Raven-haired "deity"
Creator of his own piety
Atheism is my saving grace
Otherwise I'd be caught up with him in some cult-like space
He, a fierce lion
I, a timid gazelle
This shapeshifter of a man
Stalked his prey until she waned
The energy to avoid his pursuit is well beyond drained
I put up a good fight, ignored his advances every single night
Professing his love to me tested my might
Am I upset this man wore me down?
In the beginning, indeed.
But now I understand that we were both in need
Of someone who could withstand intense emotion
Of someone who would show unfaltering devotion
Feb 9, 2018
Feb 9, 2018 at 9:41 AM UTC
Fortuitously my memories are stumbled upon,
Like smooth river rocks beneath the flow of a gentle stream,
Triggered by an anomaly in the day,
A bump in the pavement,
A loud bang,
A missed step up a flight of stairs causing a momentary stumble.
The provocation for today was innocent:
My feet pushing against the artificial pavement--the treadmill
Memories seemingly harmless take a dark turn.
I'm now running down memory lane,
A dark well once thought empty,
Gushes forth with a violent burst.
Some memories, especially violent ones, call for severance,
Or the mind will deteriorate.
Heavy breath, sweat cascading down my brow,
This is the only time I can feel her talk to me,
You see, she and I are disconnected;
And we have been for quite some time,
I increase speed, not listening to her cries,
She pleads with me to stop, I ignore her.
The only acknowledgement she gives is a stabbing sensation,
She reminds me I have a heart and lungs,
She tells me I am alive.
My body and my mind are two separate beings,
One within the other,
Like oil and water,
We do not mix.
Feb 7, 2018
Feb 7, 2018 at 8:22 PM UTC
Oh my love,
Let us hold each other,
You in my icy embrace,
I in your thorny arms,
A poison arrow pierces my back,
From the target you secretly painted on me,
You take a dagger to the heart,
A concealed weapon you didn't see.
Oh my love let us lie,
As we bleed out in silence,
In this puddle of love-red distrust,
Feeling nothing, let us die entwined,
Our bones will tell our story written in the dust
Sep 5, 2017
Sep 5, 2017 at 12:39 PM UTC
A gentle push
Towards the harsh terrain below
Is all I need
To let this go
Love was never the question
Being alone is the answer
I was not afraid
Of this crippling disaster
We thought it was love
But I'm sure it's loneliness
Just push me out
Of this poorly built nest
Aug 10, 2017
Aug 10, 2017 at 1:41 PM UTC