Sense of self-worth is something,
yet I don't know who I am
supposed to be,
Say something I could understand
and promise me to leave
me alone,
I don't understand why I have
no money and I am obsessed
with an image of someone
that I can never be,
I really want to write the
things I could never say and
I am affraid to say what I
want to write,
This is out of my dictionary
and the right words never
come and I lose the meaning
of it all,
I am an imitator and a
parrot,
my feelings frustrate me to no
end and precisely everyting
bothers me, to be honest,
what do I need to do when
I smile and grin at the
same time?
Something is horribly wrong
with me and I cannot make
sense of my surroundings,
this... this is what I
wanted to do! Yeah!! Oh, and
ontop of that, I'm somehow
consuming more than I
could chew;
there is nothing wrong with
me in a way and I
care about what happens when
I die,
Yes, I'm angry all the time
and it all starts from one simple
word that I did not understand
and it goes out to show that
I'm scared to be alone and
I do want to say so to someone
who cares,
life itself confuses me so there's
no point to even trying,
I lie and scream all the
time for no reason except when
I want to say something .. then
I keep quiet,
my mind is way too confusing
for people to understand so
there's no point in even trying
to speak,
the end is where I begin and
in the void I shall end!
Feb 5, 2019
Feb 5, 2019 at 5:54 AM UTC
I know things I shouldn't know,
I did things I should have not,
I know I can be better than
the past version of myself..
but my anger frustrates me,
Laugh and confuse me,
spit and frustrate me,
pull my hair and beat me
up for I am chocking on
my own words,
The meal is served and I
deserve a serving of the best,
but what if there is a chance
I could make sense for once
in my life?
Is that really an option for me?
No! It's funny to ramble and
make no sense 'cause everything
goes when it makes you feel
a certain way,
And I intend to be this way.
Feb 3, 2019
Feb 3, 2019 at 7:22 AM UTC
I don't have much to offer
in terms of a steady thought
process or strong memory...
quite honestly, I don't think
much to begin with so if you
would ask me
how my day went, I would
just shrug it off and keep
mumbling under my breath
whilst wondering why no one
listens to me.... hmm, maybe it
could be because I don't
stop talking but maybe I'm
just daydreaming, self-loathing
and complaining all the time;
I am very pissy,
I have the attention span of a
goldfish and I get sad very easily
and I can't figure out why.....
oh, maybe It's because of all
of the above mentioned shenanigans;
yeah, and ontop of that I
repeat myself quite often...
very often, to be exact,
I need a breath of fresh air,
a shoulder to cry on and
I simply go insane from
the pain in my left eye,
I need to stop and think for
one moment about what
I am about to do and if
the powers that be allow it,
I will fill the void inside my
heart and I will try to find out
why I feel like I am being
watched. The end.
Feb 2, 2019
Feb 2, 2019 at 2:15 AM UTC
Words that mean something,
tears that sometimes end up
in the ocean,
trash I like to eat,
or maybe I need food?!
Hmm, it's hard to choose....
What am I even talking 'bout,
I know what got me here
and for your information..
I know how to go back to the
start,
Why do you even follow me?
Are you blind to the truth or
something made you confuse
me with someone else?
Ugh, you're still here... ... .
You're cute but something
is horribly wrong with you,
cry, my love.. it will make
you feel better,
and then you will realise it made
me feel good aswell,
then we can all sigh again
and make things right.
Feb 1, 2019
Feb 1, 2019 at 5:21 PM UTC
Deserters are near,
I'm filling with fear,
I am never right
but when I am it's just luck,
Something is bothering me..
holding my throat,
It could be the words
that I've never thought,
but if I don't think..
why do I feel
the need to express
this feeling of stress,
caress; embrace him,
I could care less,
But remember I'll never be
right where you need me to be.
Jan 30, 2019
Jan 30, 2019 at 12:01 PM UTC
If I had a strong oppinion,
If I ever got my way,
If I ever said I'm sorry..
nevermind these things I say
'cause all these thoughts - they
make me go around the block
inside my head,
the truth I like to swallow up,
never see the light of day,
Symmetry and structure I don't
have to aid me in my life
so maybe when I open up
just shut the door and
throw the key.
Jan 30, 2019
Jan 30, 2019 at 8:37 AM UTC
No thoughts to call my own,
I have no place that feels like home,
Some days I feel like I'm a clone
of someone great who is long gone,
And if the struggle turns to gold
and if at last I hold my own,
These chains that bind I will shake
and watch the skies and surface break.
Jan 28, 2019
Jan 28, 2019 at 11:46 AM UTC
A million miles from home;
smoke and dust in the air,
the buzz from incoming rounds
and the sounds of artillery
prevailed over what used to be
a calm, quiet and very sedated
environment,
Two silhouettes could be seen
in the distance making their way
towards a compound in the
middle of a field,
One of them was carrying what
seemed to be an RPG,
the other - two rockets,
Come to think of it... if I didn't
take that shot, our advance
could have been hauted,
which is an understatement,
so I did it anyway,
One to the chest, one to the
head and guy number two went down,
All I had to think about now was
the RPG,
I aimed down my sights and....
he wasn't there,
I peaked to my right and tried
to see if he could be hiding behind
cover, though there wasn't any;
just sand and loads more,
I could hear over the radio that
our squad had a visual on a
target with an RPG so I asked
if they could confirm his position,
the seconds seemed to pass like days,
I felt sick all of a sudden when
I heard a loud explosion
and then silence... ... .
I could hear my heart pounding,
no one was responding on the
coms and I thought for sure
I was the last one standing,
I was just hoping the guy with the RPG
didn't make his way to the
other two rockets.
Jan 24, 2019
Jan 24, 2019 at 6:08 AM UTC
Sad is the way to unstabilize
the way,
when the earthquake hits
you'd wish you were dead,
so absurd is this play
that you spin around like
clay,
this statue in your way - it
is the symbol of vague....
sympathy,
And you really want the end
but it's somewhere else,
so pay respects to 'nay and
look over there,
Yes, there, it's not that fair
but yet oh well, might be a
lovely stay,
Where oh where, I might just
stare when angels cry,
the monster's me,
What it meant is really bent
and what you said is what it
might,
well... send a letter to the
brother and decide to call
the one and only mother,
It is really hard to wonder
when you swim inside a
pond.. eh?
There was more to this than
random ramble,
Time to cast myself with
Rambo,
in a random indian film
with the hoast of Dr. Phill,
who is.. actually called Dr. Phill.
Jan 23, 2019
Jan 23, 2019 at 5:43 AM UTC
Fear no evil,
What you say is good, though you
sound like the Devil himself,
Speak no evil,
What I wanted to say was...
nevermind it, you'll always
see it your way,
We're all evil,
You're capable of so much, yet
choose harms way,
Was it always this way?
Were you always this bitter?
I doubt it, you don't need it,
some things are meant to break
and when they do... we follow,
Oh how we follow....
Or, maybe, we could step
into the light,
It cancells the dark....
And we are light again..
So light we could
hover forever.
Jan 18, 2019
Jan 18, 2019 at 1:03 PM UTC