I must get back to my desk again, this lunchtime has flown by,
And all I ask is that if I’m late, I won’t catch the boss’s eye;
And if I’m ill and white as a sail with limbs and body shaking,
And I call in sick (third time this month), my boss won’t think I’m faking.
I must get back to my desk again, and complete my tasks with pride.
Because if I don’t, I’m pretty sure my leave request will be denied;
And all I ask is that someday it’s acknowledged I’ve been trying,
And I get the promotion for which Smith and Jones are vying.
I must get back to my desk again, to the constant corporate strife,
I hope and pray my meagre pay can feed my obese kids and wife;
And all I ask is that today, the ****** printer won’t keel-over,
And that retirement comes swiftly, so this nightmare can be over.
Nov 24, 2014
Nov 24, 2014 at 11:50 AM UTC
My garden once was green and lush.
Until on mass there came a mush
of leaf munching slimy things.
Vegetation annihilating thugs…
…an invasion of Spanish Slugs.
I’ve tried to stop them but I can’t.
They’ve decimated every plant.
In my shrubbery they dine like kings.
Sombrero wearing baronets…
…proudly clacking their castanets.
Nov 24, 2014
Nov 24, 2014 at 11:45 AM UTC
Monday’s child will slap your face,
Tuesday’s child is a disgrace,
Wednesday’s child stamps on your toe,
Thursday’s child just won’t go,
Friday’s child is most unforgiving,
Saturday’s child won’t work for a living,
And as for the child that’s born on a Sunday -
– they’ll tell you lies and steal your pay.
Oct 31, 2014
Oct 31, 2014 at 5:59 AM UTC
I post on my wall when I’m Happy.
I post on my wall when I’m sad.
I post on my wall for no reason at all,
and upload snaps of food I’ve just had.
I’m ever so popular on facebook.
I’ve got nine-hundred-and-eighty best friends.
What? – no, of course I’ve not met them all!
That’s a custom our deep-bond transcends.
Oct 31, 2014
Oct 31, 2014 at 5:52 AM UTC
You whine, you moan, complain and groan,
on & on, a cyclic whinging drone.
I listen patiently – what a glutton.
But how I wish you had a mute button.
Oct 31, 2014
Oct 31, 2014 at 5:50 AM UTC
A fellow got into a fix
Trying to teach his dog some new tricks
His canine named Rover
Refused to roll over
And seemed totally blind to thrown sticks
Oct 27, 2014
Oct 27, 2014 at 1:09 PM UTC
On warm sunny mornings, down by the canals,
trudge humans with canines – their supposed best pals.
I often wonder which is the smarter species.
The one that can’t read, at the front of the lead?
Or the one on-tow, clutching a small bag of faeces?
Oct 27, 2014
Oct 27, 2014 at 1:05 PM UTC
There was a young man named John Bowman
Who was renowned as a bit of a showman
He practiced Yoga
Dressed in a toga
Convinced that he was a real Roman
Oct 27, 2014
Oct 27, 2014 at 1:03 PM UTC
I lusted after Deborah from my first day at school.
As did every other boy, her looks made them all drool.
On Valentines I sent a card despite my inhibition.
She responded with a churlish smile that set me on a mission,
I asked her for a date and she replied “well, that depends…
…in fact, on second thoughts, I’d rather we were Just Friends”
Oct 27, 2014
Oct 27, 2014 at 1:00 PM UTC