I am a master,
A master of pretending.
Because if i quit,
No one would like the ending.
The mask is easier,
For everyone but me.
But behind it i became so hollow,
There's nothing left to see.
I made so many faces,
I can't even count.
That when i look for the real me,
It's nowhere to be found.
I'm everyone and no one,
Just something in between.
But i know one thing,
I am a master of pretending,
The best one you've ever seen.
Oct 1, 2024
Oct 1, 2024 at 5:01 PM UTC
Life,
I'm coming,
You know again i'll try.
But can't you just wait?
Fear runs through my veins,
I can't deny.
Because i'm not ready,
To say goodbye.
Not when i know,
These tears will never dry.
Because i could never,
Stop asking myself why.
Why everything i loved,
Was all thrown away,
And left to die.
-anoeska
Sep 25, 2024
Sep 25, 2024 at 6:39 PM UTC
My aurora borealis,
My green eyes,
That were never mine.
Shining bright,
As we both align.
In the stars,
Where our names must be written.
Because with your presence,
I've been suddenly smitten.
Gasping for air,
Your oxygen i breathe.
But holding on a thread,
When the floor dissapears,
Underneath my feet.
But my aurora borealis,
To me you'll always shine.
My only religion,
The only one divine.
Your light,
Could light up the north pole,
Maybe even heaven's skies aswell.
But they'll be blinded,
By the brightness i can tell.
But oh,
My aurora borealis,
To me you still shine.
I just wish you didn't for everyone,
And you'll be forever mine.
-anoeska
Sep 25, 2024
Sep 25, 2024 at 3:48 PM UTC
Walls closing in,
Gasping for air.
Needing to run,
But not knowing where.
Every corner seems haunted,
There's no light to be seen.
Hearing such voices,
No one could know what they mean.
They chase me,
Everything does.
Everything is nothing,
Like how it first was.
Too much pressure, oxygen runs out,
I'm running out of life.
Is this how it feels like,
To be buried alive?
-anoeska
Sep 25, 2024
Sep 25, 2024 at 3:33 PM UTC
They say i'm young,
Young and small.
But do they know,
I've always learned,
From my fall?
I know more than most,
My soul is the bravest.
While i'm fighting,
Lots are out there being wasted.
I've learned from my mistakes,
Still doing everything it takes.
Because i'm not done,
Actually in the middle.
But once i get out,
Who is the one being little?
Not me,
Been there done that.
Screaming, yelling,
Tears falling, eyes red.
Hate, anger,
Sadness and fear.
Always on the run,
Hoping no one comes near.
They say that i'm young,
Young and small.
But do they know,
I've already been through it all?
-anoeska
Sep 25, 2024
Sep 25, 2024 at 3:16 AM UTC
I'm falling,
So catch me.
Like snowflakes on a winter morning,
Floating around so free.
Hold me close,
But don't make me melt.
Don't let me dissapear,
And let me feel what i've always felt.
Dissapearing,
Water dripping.
Cold into heat,
My soul slowly ripping.
I want to be freezed,
And held,
At the same time.
Always close,
Yet never mine.
Now gone,
Water on the ground.
Now lost and invisible,
For no one to be found.
So don't catch me,
Let me float.
Free and beautiful,
Like is always showed,
Before i was held.
Because i was pretty once,
But only before they made me melt.
-anoeska
Sep 24, 2024
Sep 24, 2024 at 7:45 PM UTC
I feel it coming closer,
I feel it almost near.
On my cheek,
Now another tear.
Rolling down,
Just like me.
But it gets so blurry,
That i can't even see.
Time is ticking,
Heart beats are skipping.
Is it just me,
Or am i slowly tripping?
Haunted by time,
Endless and timeless.
For people to say it's only temporary,
But nevertheless.
I'm stuck,
In something called free.
They don't feel,
But i swear i can see.
It coming closer,
Almost grabbing me.
But i'm afraid,
Time is the only thing,
That can guarantee.
-anoeska
Sep 24, 2024
Sep 24, 2024 at 3:59 PM UTC
He was my hero,
But it wasn't for him to rescue me.
-anoeska
Sep 24, 2024
Sep 24, 2024 at 1:25 PM UTC
I am the oldest daughter,
I just wish i could be better at it.
Even though i have reasons for my actions,
Still alone with my guilt i sit.
I feel responsibilities,
That are not meant for me.
And when things are out of my control,
There's no way i can let it be.
I was raised a soldier,
Who felt like i needed to lead an army.
So now when it seems like i failed,
I hide it away but feel it sharply.
Sometimes i feel more like a parent,
Than my real parents are.
Even though i need being a child the most,
And everyday i'm fighting a mental war.
I am the monster,
I am trying to protect them from.
I hate the way i destroy,
When it's a healer i want to become.
Even though it's safe,
I still look out for the danger that may be.
Just to see,
That the only danger there really is,
Is me.
-anoeska
Sep 24, 2024
Sep 24, 2024 at 6:31 AM UTC
Into the unknown.
My heart calls, my soul speaks.
Screaming for freedom,
With everything that i own.
One day i'll break these chains.
Take back,
What was always mine to recieve.
I can't wait longer i hear their call,
Telling me to take everything i have,
And leave.
Far away,
To be forever lost.
And i'll chase,
No matter what it cost.
I'll follow the sound of silence.
And scream,
In words that could never be heard.
I'll be misunderstood by most,
And in my fear forever burned.
-anoeska
Sep 23, 2024
Sep 23, 2024 at 9:25 PM UTC