As I write
Streams down my face
A silent cleansing
Of thoughts
Times and roles
I can’t do it
I want to scream
Rage and …
**** my anxiety
Like a tsunami
Drowning my sanity
I hold on
To some electron
Of hope
Waiting for it
To purge out
This exasperating
Existence
Sep 14, 2022
Sep 14, 2022 at 5:45 PM UTC
I pretend it’s you
little message
Was for me
That tiny splash
The hearts and trees
A couple of teases
Beneficial friend
Or a ship with trails
But really
It’s just a fake hang up
Cuz if you did
You would
Sep 14, 2022
Sep 14, 2022 at 5:45 PM UTC
I know I’ll be ok
But right now it hurts
I miss that ******
My bro
My confidant
My best friend
My lover
What happened?
I’m looking everywhere for you
Some hint…
It hurts when I find that sliver of you
It’s a slice into my soul
I know we had something real
Finally having a person that likes you
for all of you…
And I mean ALL
It changes you.
He wanted to see my smile and face.
He remembered things about me.
He wanted to know how my day was.
He looked at me and saw ME.
He saw my flaws and still came back around.
And then…
I don’t know what happened.
His pain got in the way
Life struggles
I must move on
But it hurts
And I’ll be OKAY
Sep 14, 2022
Sep 14, 2022 at 4:33 PM UTC
What keeps changing your mind?
Is it The Golden Black Flicker
That Beacon of you
Perhaps it’s the Promise
Of yesteryear
Or those Bygone days
Do you wonder at the hearts?
Purple or Red?
Which beat faster…
And I’m asking
As I don’t think you know
When we Blow that Smoke
Will one answer the signal?
Sep 14, 2022
Sep 14, 2022 at 4:25 PM UTC
Move your ******* face
Why am I there
Why do I exist
Just move your ******* face
Why did I go
What did you expect
I said to move that ******* face
I have things to do
Life to live
So move your own ******* face
Sep 14, 2022
Sep 14, 2022 at 4:15 PM UTC
You **** me off so much
I don’t like that you control me
I don’t think you even realize
What it is that you controlled
And why?
Why is it all based on you?
You are selfish.
You are confusing.
You don’t even know what you want.
And **** you
**** you
**** you
**** you
I have to wait
I don’t like it
I should have said no
I should say no
Why am I doing all this ******* crap?
I want to escape from you
Because you **** my heart
Every time.
Sep 14, 2022
Sep 14, 2022 at 3:55 PM UTC
Why do I forget who they really are?
Or what box they put me in?
*That’s your role
Stay in your lane*
And I forgot they only like certain questions
And they will always say
“what do you want from me?”
That’s the coup de grâce if I ever saw one
Sep 14, 2022
Sep 14, 2022 at 3:53 PM UTC
I think about
all the hints and clues
yet
I keep hoping …
But
You just stopped.
It was like You got Your fill
Then You turned off
Maybe it was some **** movement
So
ya just end it?
You Used Me
For money
For access
For favors
i got nothing
few kisses?
and it dwindled
to nothing
should make another plan
Sep 14, 2022
Sep 14, 2022 at 3:49 PM UTC
It would be nice to just freeze.
Freeze in my own mind.
And not wake up.
Drown in midnight bliss of my thoughts.
Pretend like everything is ok.
Let everyone else figure it out.
Whatever it is.
I’ll make it all up in my own mind.
And it won’t matter.
Because I won’t matter.
Because I’m frozen.
Sep 14, 2022
Sep 14, 2022 at 3:48 PM UTC
Be yourself…
**** that.
No one wants that
Myself….
What is that?
A ******* nutcase
Why do I even try?
I am lame…
And not quite the same
I messed up.
Yet I know
They got around it?
And now
We’re ******
Because
I will put ‘em off.
And then, that’s it
Because
I don’t do that
The placating ****
I see it
Want to throw up
Therefore,
I’m done.
(Like an over cooked steak)
Sep 14, 2022
Sep 14, 2022 at 3:32 PM UTC