It was near the end,
when I was convinced I was dead,
you held me tight and told me,
I would be alright.
That same night you kept me company,
to keep my mind off of it.
Thats the only love I ever wanted,
someone who would stay,
when I was anything but okay.
If only you would let yourself,
do the same.
Apr 11, 2021
Apr 11, 2021 at 3:14 PM UTC
When I was little,
I was taught that love was sacred.
When you say it,
you mean it.
I said I love you,
and now I'm stuck.
Because you don't love me anymore.
Apr 11, 2021
Apr 11, 2021 at 3:12 PM UTC
Every time he leaves I'm brought back to reality.
That this is just ***
nothing more,
what we once had is gone.
Eeverytime he leaves I know that he is no good,
that what we are doing is no good.
But when he is here,
I am convinced we still have it,
the flame that kept us alive this long,
the connection I long for,
the love I so desperately want.
When he is here, I convince myself,
that he hold me out of love,
and that his touches are filled with care.
When he is here I'm convinced we're in love.
But right after the moment has passed,
he tells me "I don't love you".
A slap in the face that shatters the reality I just built.
The truth that I can't handle.
I tell him to get out,
to leave,
Hoping one day he will stay.
Mar 24, 2021
Mar 24, 2021 at 2:01 AM UTC
Sneaking drinks,
because I'm not old enough.
At first it was fun,
now it's not as much.
Now I'm drinking because "I've had a long day"
and I like the static that comes.
Now I'm drinking because "I don't feel happy"
and I like the butterflies that comes.
Now I'm drinking because "I don't want to be sober"
and I like the blackout that comes.
The static sounds out the yelling and crying,
from my family.
The butterflies replace the feeling he use to give me,
that's no longer there.
The blackout helps me sleep with my thoughts,
that tell me it's time to go.
Sneaking drinks,
because I'm not old enough.
At first it was fun,
now I need it.
Feb 24, 2021
Feb 24, 2021 at 9:07 PM UTC
DEATH is cruel,
DEATH is uncaring.
HE takes without care,
without worry.
DEATH is final.
DEATH scares me.
Not mine,
but everyone else.
loneliness is quiet,
loneliness is sad.
loneliness scares me.
Being left here,
all alone with the memories of how it use to be.
Feb 24, 2021
Feb 24, 2021 at 8:54 PM UTC
My dad,
I need my dad.
I need my dad.
Please don't take my dad.
Feb 24, 2021
Feb 24, 2021 at 8:52 PM UTC
You need to be scared,
scared that any slip up could be fatal.
Not for you of course,
for the ones you forget about.
the ones you chose your self over.
Like your step dad,
when was the last time you said hi,
while you were slipping out into the night.
They will be gone and,
You're not getting them back.
You need to be scared.
You need to think everyones going to die,
because they will.
You need to spend every moment giving love to others.
Stop being selfish,
you don't matter,
you need to be scared.
Feb 24, 2021
Feb 24, 2021 at 8:49 PM UTC
he asked me,
"have you ever been depressed"
I mentally laugh because "been" like past tense.
but I answer yes confidently as I had beat the little pest.
I asked him the same and he said yes but not any more,
and in awe I ask "how did you stop?"
he talked about it so easily,
but I struggle so hard.
He said he just knew he had to do it for him,
and instead of hope,
I felt pain,
as depression tucked me in.
Jan 31, 2021
Jan 31, 2021 at 9:30 PM UTC
Its been 30 minutes,
were eating at the kitchen counter,
but were both watching the cake,
that chocolate cake that he loved.
I wonder how long it will stay there?
One day passed, then two,
I came home on the third,
and it wasn't there anymore.
Some how it felt like the day you left.
Now were at the counter,
staring at the coffee ***
that we refuse to touch.
His memories crowd this house,
even if he's gone.
Jan 31, 2021
Jan 31, 2021 at 4:35 PM UTC
Written in my body,
words not spoken,
I don't know if you need me but I do,
my heart is bending,
last time we spoke you left an echo in my heart that made me cautious,
I have a confession,
hoping you hear me,
wondering if any part of me,
could say something,
give in, say **** it and be loud,
written in my body,
lingering in my heart,
words not spoken,
saying I love you still.
Jan 17, 2021
Jan 17, 2021 at 1:39 AM UTC