danny-valdezWhisper

American

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Take Your Life...I mean...Take My WifeMy Mom needed something from the store / So I told her I’d walk up there for her and get it. / We were barely getting by

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11.3k

Batman of Hollywood Blvd.He woke up / next to the empty spot / where Wonder Woman had been.

184

11k

The Wrong ***** To **** WithMy mom and I went out / driving around from bar to bar / a lot

125

5.9k

Totally GayIt wasn't quite a party. / More of a kickback / just ten or twelve friends

47

5.4k

A Male **********Back at Donnie's place / this chick had shown me her **** / Her brother was some guy we ran with.

108

3.9k

The Parts Delivery GuysI’d get a call over the walkie-talkie, write down what parts were needed, find them in the parts’ warehouse tent, load ’em up, and deliver them to the job site. It was pretty easygoing. In between orders I’d just sit in the air-conditioned truck, listening to Howard Stern and napping here and there. When I could. After a month, they hired another guy to be my partner. He was a computer programming geek, married with kids, and he had these stupid cartoon tattoos all over his arms. Japanese anime **** and Hanna-Barbara characters. The guy really got on my nerves, one of those know-it-all nerds. / Our boss was the biggest Native I’d ever seen. Looked like a Navajo Andre the Giant, only he had a big, black, handlebar mustache. Which as surprising, because, I was under the impression Navajo’s couldn’t grow ****** hair. He stood at nearly 6’6” with long skinny legs, a barrel chest covered in silver and turquoise jewelry. When he got angry, his eyes went wild, like fire raging out of control. Like the time I got the flatbed truck stuck on an embankment and the back axle snapped off. ********* JUNIOR!” he shouted. My old man was one of the foremen there, so everyone just called me Junior. Oh yes, my boss, Darren, was a scary guy to say the least. So me and my delivery partner were making a run to the jobsite one day, the radio blaring “Free Bird” by Lynyrd Skynyrd, just getting into the fast final part of the song. The good part. Right in the middle of the guitar solo, my partner changed the station to Nickleback, of all things. I quickly switched it back to the Skynyrd. / “What’s wrong with you? Don’t change it in the middle of “Free Bird,” I said.

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3.8k

A Writer's Retreat Trailer ParkWithin twenty-four hours everything changed. / The old man kicked me out again / so I was back in that twin sized bed

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3.3k

Date Night Surprise, Starring Louis C.K.We really couldn't afford it / but I got the tickets anyways. / We hadn't been out of the apartment

136

3.1k

My Future Self & II keep coming across these guys / on the bus / walking the streets

55

2.7k

To The LostIt was a suicide. / He had gotten drunk, / too drunk.

140

2.5k

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