lost in a dark place
trapped in a crawl space
in my mind I get lost in
I wake up in a coffin
they tell me they care they’re just in love with the idea of me
so they’ll never know about the pain I go through
It’s like a chain of reaction
all the demons attack from all the drugs that I’m taking
It’s like I’m losing my traction
kiss death on the lips I have a fatal attraction
this is my heart
watch as my problems inspire me
tear me apart
won’t let the demons take over me
they took it too far I don’t wanna fall apart
It's like I'm lost in the motions
use this rhyme as a rope
to wrap around the commotion
tie the knot at my throat
I look at death as a notion
I don't want it no more
but it's too late to reverse it
as I fall on the floor
Oct 22, 2019
Oct 22, 2019 at 4:39 AM UTC
To trip away in a cloud so grey
To not feel the same
Bro I cry everyday
Things I can not change
Life is very strange
I know you feel this way
Can't carry the weigh
So I'll die someday
But for now please stay
Nov 2, 2018
Nov 2, 2018 at 2:35 PM UTC
I watch days go by
Fly away
feel sanity decay
I’m floating
In my mind
I don’t seem to know why
Then I crash into the ground
Hearing my thoughts pass
Thinking I might drown
Deep in depression
I can’t catch my breath
I’m not in the room
Yet with mania I feel like I bloom
Insane eyes
Racing mind
Sanity dies
Yet I find beauty on it
I think I’m having a heart attack
I can’t feels my legs
I’m not here
I’m not real
Nothing’s real
I can’t feel a thing
Making me feel terrified
Am I dying?
I’m afraid I might hurt myself
Why my hands seem like they’re not there?
Days are long
And of the nights I never get enough
About to get ****** up
I pour my cup
I’m getting drunk
I smoke
I want to ****
Wanna trip up
To feel awake
And not feel the same
To feel alive
Will I survive?
Hyperactive
Will I thrive?
Depression is consuming me
Like the joints
I fly away with
Through smoke
Mania’s back
Ready for attack
Anxiety has my back
No matter how high I fly
I fall back
It’s a panic attack
Make it stop
I flop
I take my pills
And they put me to sleep
Then I dream
Vividly dream
I’m not scared
Is this a dream?
Why does it feel like it’s real?
I don’t feel real awake
When I think of death
I’m not scared
Will I go?
May 27, 2018
May 27, 2018 at 11:32 PM UTC
I'm drifting
through my dreams,
occasionally colliding
with a hint of certainty.
I'm higher than I seem,
fighting the concept
of reality as a means.
I'm lost in the sky.
I can't remember why,
but life is just easier
when I get a little high.
Jan 4, 2018
Jan 4, 2018 at 2:36 PM UTC
these lakes hold nothing more than the emptiness of my own two hands;
than the silent fall of my breath.
because the birds are awake and the sky is still an empty canvas
that I didn’t finish, that I chose not to because these fingers would not keep still, because they were too focused on tracing you,
and trying to twine you back together again,
and the sun does not speak to us, not like we speak to it,
It does not open its sad, dull mouth to try and herd together our aching, empty words,
It does not speak in tune, it does not speak at all.
and the moon does not look at us, not like we look at it,
It does not try to study the placing of our bones, or our wide open arms and how they got that way,
It does not wonder why we sing to it, why we sing to it with our hoarse throats and heavy eyes.
these lakes write in cursive. These lakes write in ripples
from our lips, whistling over them, delicate, trying not to disturb.
these lakes know us. These lakes do not forget -
can’t forget, because we have fixed our naked backs into their stomachs, floating,
trying to write our way into the sonnet,
trying to be a part of something other than our own selves.
But the birds cry from grief, and all the water tries to do, is drown us.
So we both walk home alone, bare feet parading over torn ground, shoes grasped between our bleeding hands.
Jan 4, 2018
Jan 4, 2018 at 2:30 PM UTC
When a girl says she wants to look like me
I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel
Do you want to look like me?
Well don’t try
I’m sick.
You want my waist?
You really don’t want to know how that tastes
Cause my waist is not made up of a healthy habits and you wouldn’t want to be this disgraced.
You wouldn’t want to be afraid
You wouldn’t want to feel bleak
You wouldn’t want to feel this weak
There are days when I just can’t handle myself
You wouldn’t want to just stare at your plate
You’ll get addicted if you start
Please don’t do that to you
Cause once she gets to your head
she’ll never want to leave
that’s what she did to me.
Do you want to look like me?
Don’t
don’t look up to me
cause I’m much more than what you get to see.
Jan 3, 2018
Jan 3, 2018 at 6:41 PM UTC
It’s too light out to be thinking this dark
The moon gleams in all it’s glory tonight
Even the clouds are awake
The stars blanket around the ideas of who we are
They whispear our success
I’m trapped in a maze I’ve created myself
But the moon will guide me home.
Dec 5, 2017
Dec 5, 2017 at 10:00 AM UTC
I kissed bottle after bottle
trying to forget how you tasted
next thing I knew
man, I was ******* wasted
Dec 4, 2017
Dec 4, 2017 at 9:07 PM UTC
What are we, but figures of skin?
What are we, but souls of sin?
What are we, what have we been?
What story is there behind a grin?
The stories of men are what I seek.
Behind each face, the messages speak.
Of people turned depressed and morally weak,
and of experiences which leave men bleak.
Dec 4, 2017
Dec 4, 2017 at 9:02 PM UTC
As I lie awake staring at the ceiling
I see the fluorescent light bulb flickering
for how long it will remain bright is uncertain
the cold breeze pans my vision to the curtain
now I see the moon brightly shining
looking back at the tiny fluorescent light, I kept comparing
why can't I see the moon when there is rain
but when skies cry this light bulb is here to remain
then a quick flash kept my ears ringing
I've answered my questions without even knowing
the moon leaves me everyday
but even when I **** it, the tiny fluorescent lightbulb will stay
Oct 2, 2017
Oct 2, 2017 at 11:22 PM UTC