& it's a been a while since I endeavored turning these bottled up feelings into words on paper,
Who knew I'd find difficulty in being a translator
& words fail me as I attempt to find meaning and try describing you,
You've got me tripping; there's something about every little thing that you do.
& my eyes will never grow tired from admiring you,
But can I really be blamed for being hooked on such a view?!
& when your brown eyes meet mine, I can feel the world seizing.
For a second there, I can swear the earth stops moving,
My heart starts rapidly beating,
I'd have all these overwhelming feelings; like a struck of lightning,
& my mind is constantly begging and pleading
That I could save that little moment between us two.
& with all this education, I can't seem to find words; my tongue is all tied up and I'm unable to express...
Sweety, you've left a scholar speechless.
Jun 8, 2014
Jun 8, 2014 at 5:04 AM UTC
... & my heart cringes at the thought of you
I can feel it aching as it attempts to retrieve stories from the past. The times when you were the one I constantly and with no exception turned to.
I can feel it sore and stinging as I compose another word, when I'm just endeavoring to comprehend the present, and make it through.
... & I feel a lump down my throat when the vision of you with someone else strikes my consciousness.
A mind that is trying to survive a comprehension of loneliness.
The perception of losing you - Leaving me tracking thoughts and connecting dots in a confusion while being absent in an abyss
Thoughts creeping up, preventing me from taking a deep breath. I struggle to hold the tears longing to escape my eyelids, yet with no success.
... & I can sense a hand being wrapped around my heart when your stares reunite with mine and our eyes lock; ceasing time.
The world surrounding us perishes and dies out; leaving what's between us there to linger; sending a strong breeze my way, recalling me of your well implemented crime.
... & with each word uttered by you, the grip gets tighter and the sinking sensation knocks me down preceding an exhausting climb
Yet my feet fail to hold me up, and my education goes in vain as my lips fall short on mouthing words, turning me into a helpless mime
... & I'm drowning in seas of misery after years of thirsting for the ocean
Trapped below water level, feeling nausea caused by the universe's plan and it's unexpected motion
... & I can recognize the marks on my wrists after being tied to you with faultless devotion.
& I've grasped the concept that this existence will nevermore be the same...
Apr 5, 2014
Apr 5, 2014 at 6:23 AM UTC
If you thought I'm just a girl,
Some pretty face that you can admire and a body for you to gaze at,
Taking in every detail on my face, and every curve in my frame.
You can look at me,
You can spend eternity with eyes fixed on me,
But you do not know the girl I really am.
But I, I have witnessed a lifetime of people like you.
Chasing looks and appearances.
And I might appeal to you,
But I, I would not give you the time of day.
I wasn't always pretty, but your soul has always been a sore to the eyes.
If you thought I'm just a girl,
Just another gal for you to touch, or hold between your arms.
Thinking its easy to lay your hands on my skin, or savor my lips.
Just another body that'll satisfy cravings.
You can look at me,
You can spend eternity with eyes fixed on me,
But you do not know the girl I really am.
But I, I have witnessed a lifetime of people like you.
Hunting down fragile souls and taking advantage of their weaknesses.
You can thirst all you want, but you'll never find satisfaction in a girl like me.
And I might appeal to you,
But I, I would not give you the time of day
I might be an attraction, but your soul has always driven away all what's innocent & pure.
If you thought I'm just a girl,
Take a second look.
I'm a young woman, and I see right through you.
Because if you really knew me, you'd be able earn me.
Feb 8, 2014
Feb 8, 2014 at 5:07 AM UTC
Oh, I've loved...
To the boy who gave me the world, and had me heads over heels.
To the friendship that was set on fire. Burning flames; igniting my heart & soul.
To the butterflies in my stomach, the hands sweating, and the heart beats racing.
To the smile that was from ear to ear during moments between us two.
To the warmth by clothing that belonged to him.
To the fantasies about having him eternally; like a tattoo.
Oh, yes, I've loved... & had my heart broken.
To the boy who knocked me off my feet after I was on top of clouds.
To the boy who had me falling all the way to the ground, after falling for him.
To the puffy eyes that spent sleepless nights sobbing over that boy.
To the memories I still hold so dear; buried deep between two lungs.
To the wounds that wouldn't mend.
To a soul that's aching, and a heart that's breaking.
To the boy who grew up to be a guy.
But, I'm still just a girl in love with that boy.
Oh, I've loved... & I've lost
Feb 3, 2014
Feb 3, 2014 at 5:51 PM UTC
"When one door closes, another one opens"
Yet my mind can't seem to comprehend the reason why we dwell and mourn over what's over.
The reason why we hang around 'Closed' signs that won't change.
Not knowing that some doors obstruct flames.
But it seems that we find pleasure in the burns we get when standing in the fire range.
Yet my mind can't seem to comprehend the reason why we sob and grieve
over locks and thrown away keys.
The reason why tears blind us from seeing the sun that's creeping from the door that has opened,
why we seem to forget about new beginnings; like having the Alzheimer disease.
Let go of the **** and quit attempting to open what's meant to stay closed...
Jan 11, 2014
Jan 11, 2014 at 2:03 AM UTC
To the girls I grew up with.
Those girls with diverse stories, plots, and twists,
but shared the same book cover,
& shared the same synopsis;
& soon enough sentences on pages will be adjusted,
& words will alter,
& they'll share the same story.
Those girls who lost the essence of standing against the crowd -
Who are not going anywhere further than the crowd.
... But one only reads a book once.
To the girls I grew up with.
Those girls who changed themselves to fit in a society that belongs to yesteryear.
Those girls who are as similar as two peas in a pod.
... But one only eats peas as a kid and his mom had something to do with it.
To the girls I grew up with.
Who looked like copies of one another and dressed the same.
They do say life is a school, but do not uniform your personalities.
Do not uniform who you are.
Those girls who acted the same...
And when were dreams ever the same??
When could two people ever look at clouds and have similar views?
When could two people ever go to sleep and visit one land of dreams?
Oh, but those girls could...
To the girls I grew up with.
I keep exploring this black and white painting of yours.
Hoping I'd spot a drop of blue paint somewhere - somehow.
I keep searching for rainbows in a world like yours.
& all I end up with are puddles of water
created by tears you have once cried.
Yet, you do not admit your eyes have ever witnessed water.
You do not admit your cheeks have ever felt running rain.
& all I end up with are puddles of water.
Puddles of water that reflect my face beseeching for hope.
And the harder I look,
the more I end up with just puddles of water.
To the girls I grew up with.
Those girls who got married at a young age.
Who dropped out of school, cut corners, and took the easy road out.
Who turned down opportunities that were beyond their world.
To the girls who got married at a young age, to boys who were not raised to appreciate a girl.
Boys who locked them behind doors,
who hid them away from the rest of the world,
who ****** the life that was left out of them,
& who blew the candle ignited in them;
that flame that showed them the way...
To the girls who put up with those boys
& I never knew why they wouldn't just leave.
But more importantly, I wouldn't understand why they'd be there in the first place.
To the girls I grew up with.
I request answers to questions that haunt me.
Answers to questions that never leave me as I look at you.
As I look at the fragile girls you turned out to be.
What happened to your voices??
For you do not speak up; haven't you been hushed long enough??
What happened to your feet??
For you do not run freely on this earth; do you even remember what the wind feels like??
To the girls I grew up with.
Those whom I can't hold a conversation with.
We do not meet on common grounds.
I do not know how to converse in this language you speak with.
I do not spot the view from your corner of the earth.
& I can't wrap my head around your world...
Those girls who do not hear my words.
My words bounce off that bubble they've been emerged into.
And their words haunt my thoughts as I think of that prison they have sentenced themselves into.
Those walls they've built with their own bare hands,
Thinking they're locking the world out, but they only trap themselves in.
To the girls I grew up with,
I was never truly around; just a stop on the way to the true world.
But I can't help but wonder about
those girls I grew up with.
Jan 9, 2014
Jan 9, 2014 at 4:18 PM UTC
Life is never a walk in the park. It has the competency to elevate you to the supreme cliffs and then nose-dives you all the way to the deepest trenches.
You could either battle with a sword and shield, and stand up straight like the warrior you were born to be, or spend your entire life viewing it from fringes on benches.
You, are not here to have your hands tied behind your back, raise your white flag, and surrender.
No, YOU, are not here to yield to complications that are exaggerated by the deafening sound of the drums of war... You are a defender.
Arm yourself with courage and strength... Life WILL get you on your knees. Life WILL pull the trigger and strike a bullet through you, aiming for your heart.
You just have to retain the determination to stand back up after you've been hurt over and over again and torn apart.
Savor life my dear warrior and endure the anguish. You were born to be a fighter.
Get your arm up! Stand up!
Stand up, for the little moments that make it worth putting up with the pain.
And what's sunshine with a little bit of rain?!
Stand up, for the little moments that will draw a smile on your pretty face
And where's the fun in a game without some challenges taking place?!
Stand up for a life worth living... Stand up for YOU.
Facing gun point is the only way to remind yourself of how much you favor the toothsome side of life.
Stand up straight like the warrior YOU ARE.
Jan 8, 2014
Jan 8, 2014 at 4:44 AM UTC
I compose to you the following from the darkness of a room.
I inhale a deep breathe filling my lungs, releasing it out with an anguish as I mouth of thee.
He who turned this reality into a dreaming state.
Who taught my heart to dance to tip-toeing beats, synchronizing with his.
Who set fire to a friendship and gave meaning to the music I love.
Who raised the bar high and portrayed perfection.
I compile these few words for you from the darkness of a room that once witnessed the rays of the sun.
For he struck a lighting beam the day he entered; and warmth ran through my entire body.
Yet, I shiver now from freezing winds and my thoughts never fail to recall thee.
He whom I said my farewells to and guided outside the room
Who was steered elsewhere as I claimed it was charcoal and not a heating flame. Never knowing, it was the passion that gave blood to my cheeks, curves to my smile, and music to my beating heart.
And it was time to wake up once more from the land of dreams to a bitter reality.
Back to a world with watery eyes resisting to surrender, lungs gasping for each breath he once took away, and a heart that morns over thee.
He who turned me into a poet; writing for the freedom of a stolen heart.
He who parted me with a flare that's now there resulting burn marks; scarring me with memories.
He who embodied my "The One".
He who granted me the taste of perfection; who can ever match up to thee??
He who turned me into a poet... & I shall forever write about thee.
Jan 6, 2014
Jan 6, 2014 at 1:35 AM UTC
Close your eyes as I sentence you to go back in time
To turn the clock backwards; won't coast you a single dime
All the way to days of catching fireflies and carrying lunchboxes
Being scared of monsters in the closet and building fort mattresses
When you made a best friend by sharing your blue crayon – the color of your skin didn't matter
When candy was everything you wanted to buy. And ice-cream was the ultimate answer
When nobody was prettier than mom, and nobody was cooler than dad
When she waited for you when you got home and you sat on his lap; nothing would ever go bad
When rainy days only meant we'll manage to do everything inside the classroom and continue to play
When chicken pox was entertaining, balloons made everything okay and we played with clay
When it was a big deal to go to an amusement park and finally get on the ‘Big Kid’ rides
When goodbye only meant until summer is over and no one left your side
When you sneaked up on your toys because ‘Toy Story’ was real
When you spent each day in the sun and everything was ideal
When mistakes were corrected by exclaiming 'do over' and everybody was a friend
When we all played together as one and there was no pretend
When decisions were made by going eeny-meeny-miney-moe
Never having a clue that we’ll soon say goodbye and it’ll be time to grow...
Those days weren't going to last
Huh... They passed by pretty fast
Days of wearing a blanket on your back thinking you could fly
Of tip-toeing around the house; turning to a spy
Days of wearing your mom's heels and pearls and acting like a queen
Of chasing each other in shopping malls and making a scene
Days of being afraid of the dark and pretending to be sick just to skip school
Of climbing trees, swinging on swings, and following playground rules
Days of bedtime stories and being tucked in bed
Of pretending to be a zombie and playing dead
Days of jump ropes, Nintendo games, and flipping coins to make everything fair
Of Hide & Seek, pillow fights and jumping up and down the stairs
Days of having a recess to run around and scream
Of no race issues; just one team
Days of not caring about what you wore; whether a size two or ten
Of being tired from playing, but we'd sleep only to wake up and play again
Days of ordering happy meals not for the food, but the toy; never worrying about weight
Of 10$ feeling like a million & another extra dollar is a miracle. When ten o’clock was considered late
Days of looking at the stars/clouds and imagining shapes, occupying an entire evening
Of no matter how bad your voice was, you weren't embarrassed to sing
Days of following ants and having a pet bug
Of camping in the backyard, and Barni was your drug
Days of melted chocolate all over our faces and still not caring who was watching
Of ‘Opposite Days’, checking who leaped more steps, "You're it" and racing
Days of cuss words being banned and you didn't have to be compared
Of having innocence and being treated equal. You were once heard
Remember those days?? Or have you forgotten that you weren't born yesterday??
Before having responsibilities and driving cars. Just simple cardboard spaceships, and the privilege to sit in the front seat
Before x-boxes, PlayStation2, or internet browsers. Before you made quick judgments, lied and cheated
Before changing ourselves to impress others and wearing make-up
Covering who we truly are, claiming that we have grown up
Before caring about sexism, classicism, or racism, and letting our ignorant society take over us
Being misled by social media; blinding us from the fact that we’re all the same and making a huge fuss
Before money and popularity controlled and took over - Being mean and acting like jerks because we think it’s cool
Mocking others because they're not the same as us. Abusing people; treating them as a tool…
Before all that… Days of our childhood – How I wish to go back
Enter a time machine and get back to that youth track
But time isn't on our side and we have to leave it all behind eventually
Yet learn from it… Gather that knowledge and better yourself… Childhood days are the cherry on top of this reality.
Jan 5, 2014
Jan 5, 2014 at 12:49 PM UTC
Educate...
Let them trade those weapons they hold so dear with papers and pens.
Let them cease the bombing and hostility that's behind the aching of countries, families, and friends.
Educate...
Let there be no conflicts resolved through blood spilled by innocent souls.
Exchange it for drops of ink endeavoring to mend and put the pieces back together of a country that was once whole.
Educate... To foster peace and force change.
Jan 3, 2014
Jan 3, 2014 at 1:05 PM UTC