dainty-wrists - Hello Poetry

Undeniably Never Interested Very Emotional Really Stressed I Thank You

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Oct 11, 2016

Oct 11, 2016 at 1:31 PM UTC

Undeniably Never Interested Very Emotional Really Stressed I Thank You

Addiction is strange Years of absence But seconds to crack. S u I c I d E Crosses my mind from time to time One pill here One pill there Only give myself a little scare No more calories No more food Dainty wrists must be good **** the crying over sliced bread Just don't eat anything instead Years of sanity And a small relapse later Here I am The biggest stranger

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Jul 24, 2016

Jul 24, 2016 at 10:19 PM UTC

Beginnings

Addiction is strange Years of absence But seconds to crack. S u I c I d E Crosses my mind from time to time One pill here One pill there Only give myself a little scare No more calories No more food Dainty wrists must be good **** the crying over sliced bread Just don't eat anything instead Years of sanity And a small relapse later Here I am The biggest stranger

17

isn't it weird how one day you could be stood on the edge of a bridge threatening to jump isn't it weird how you have the power to end yours and another persons life isn't it weird how people can hate themselves so much and no one notice isn't it weird how one little thing can control your life so much isn't it weird how little someone can mean to you even though they used to be your world isn't it weird how we all develop into our own individual lifestyles praying that people will like us isn't it weird how people can hate each other and cause them harm isn't it weird how none of us are safe we're not safe from others and worse of all we're not safe from ourselves

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May 19, 2014

May 19, 2014 at 5:08 AM UTC

Untitled

isn't it weird how one day you could be stood on the edge of a bridge threatening to jump isn't it weird how you have the power to end yours and another persons life isn't it weird how people can hate themselves so much and no one notice isn't it weird how one little thing can control your life so much isn't it weird how little someone can mean to you even though they used to be your world isn't it weird how we all develop into our own individual lifestyles praying that people will like us isn't it weird how people can hate each other and cause them harm isn't it weird how none of us are safe we're not safe from others and worse of all we're not safe from ourselves

11

I walk up to the mirror put on my makeup and sigh another day at college and another day closer to leaving and getting away. I love college, I love learning and I always get the best grades. What I hate it everyone else, the people who are mean and cruel for no reason. The people who talk about you and make you feel so paranoid. I hate it. College is where young adult study and yet it's full of back stabbing children who make everyone's lives miserable. I can't cope. I know that if they found out about my illness they would laugh, say I was seeking attention and I can't cope with that. I can't cope at all

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Apr 2, 2014

Apr 2, 2014 at 1:05 PM UTC

Untitled

I walk up to the mirror put on my makeup and sigh another day at college and another day closer to leaving and getting away. I love college, I love learning and I always get the best grades. What I hate it everyone else, the people who are mean and cruel for no reason. The people who talk about you and make you feel so paranoid. I hate it. College is where young adult study and yet it's full of back stabbing children who make everyone's lives miserable. I can't cope. I know that if they found out about my illness they would laugh, say I was seeking attention and I can't cope with that. I can't cope at all

2

I’m still waiting for all of this hurt and pain to go away. I’m still waiting to be able to confidently look in the mirror and actually smile at what I see reflected back. I’m still waiting for the day where I can ask strangers “how much is this?” “What time is it?” I’m still waiting for the day where I can confidently voice my opinion whether it’s a popular opinion or not. I’m still waiting for the day where I no longer take art lessons with a sharp blade as my pen and use my wrist as the paper. I thought I was a lot better, I thought I was making progress. But now, I no longer eat, I exercise 24/7, I have made laxatives my bestfriend again. I thought people were proud of me, and now I’m giving them a reason to doubt me, take all of the pride away from me and swap it with guilt and remorse. Maybe there’s a way out, maybe there’s a way I can end this pain once and for all. Maybe just maybe I can get off this train and jump right into the tracks.

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Apr 1, 2014

Apr 1, 2014 at 6:56 AM UTC

Untitled

I’m still waiting for all of this hurt and pain to go away. I’m still waiting to be able to confidently look in the mirror and actually smile at what I see reflected back. I’m still waiting for the day where I can ask strangers “how much is this?” “What time is it?” I’m still waiting for the day where I can confidently voice my opinion whether it’s a popular opinion or not. I’m still waiting for the day where I no longer take art lessons with a sharp blade as my pen and use my wrist as the paper. I thought I was a lot better, I thought I was making progress. But now, I no longer eat, I exercise 24/7, I have made laxatives my bestfriend again. I thought people were proud of me, and now I’m giving them a reason to doubt me, take all of the pride away from me and swap it with guilt and remorse. Maybe there’s a way out, maybe there’s a way I can end this pain once and for all. Maybe just maybe I can get off this train and jump right into the tracks.

1

So this is relapse The thing I was most worried about The thing I was trying to avoid I’m back to crying Repeating old habits And this is what it feels like. I didn’t want to feel like this I thought I was stronger So this is what it feels like To be weak To be sad To be back to the way I was before To be relapsing Falling Tumbling Relapsing

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Apr 1, 2014

Apr 1, 2014 at 6:48 AM UTC

So this,

So this is relapse The thing I was most worried about The thing I was trying to avoid I’m back to crying Repeating old habits And this is what it feels like. I didn’t want to feel like this I thought I was stronger So this is what it feels like To be weak To be sad To be back to the way I was before To be relapsing Falling Tumbling Relapsing

16

I don't feel like myself lately I feel like I'm not in control but at the same time I do feel like I'm in control. Does this make sense? I wake up and plan what I will eat and what time I will eat it at. I feel people noting how many calories I consume I just don't feel like myself lately

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Mar 26, 2014

Mar 26, 2014 at 9:50 AM UTC

Untitled

I don't feel like myself lately I feel like I'm not in control but at the same time I do feel like I'm in control. Does this make sense? I wake up and plan what I will eat and what time I will eat it at. I feel people noting how many calories I consume I just don't feel like myself lately

10

Isn't it funny how you spend so much time fighting an illness only for it to come back again. I've been away fighting anorexia and bulimia for what? absolutely nothing it seems i thought i had overcome it, but clearly i was wrong. i went two months without doing anything wrong and now 3 months down the line im back to square one but this time it feels so much worse. im always at the gym now im using laxtives im starving myself at every opportunity im stuck in a relapse and i have no idea how to get out

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Mar 21, 2014

Mar 21, 2014 at 9:54 AM UTC

Relapse

Isn't it funny how you spend so much time fighting an illness only for it to come back again. I've been away fighting anorexia and bulimia for what? absolutely nothing it seems i thought i had overcome it, but clearly i was wrong. i went two months without doing anything wrong and now 3 months down the line im back to square one but this time it feels so much worse. im always at the gym now im using laxtives im starving myself at every opportunity im stuck in a relapse and i have no idea how to get out

15

balancing on the scales is my new home I can stand there for hours I like looking at the numbers drop it gives me control, power eat less and less until I look my best and when I weight less then I will rest rest forever the new skinny me balancing on the scales is where I like to be

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Dec 18, 2013

Dec 18, 2013 at 4:07 PM UTC

The scales

balancing on the scales is my new home I can stand there for hours I like looking at the numbers drop it gives me control, power eat less and less until I look my best and when I weight less then I will rest rest forever the new skinny me balancing on the scales is where I like to be

12

you said things would get better so why do I feel worse? you said people would like me so why am I still alone? you said i'd lose weight and be happy so why am I crying and holding my fat? you said that starving myself, using lax and purging is bad so why does it feel so right? you said a lot on things and none of them are right so why should I listen now just because you think I might

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Dec 17, 2013

Dec 17, 2013 at 7:15 AM UTC

you said

you said things would get better so why do I feel worse? you said people would like me so why am I still alone? you said i'd lose weight and be happy so why am I crying and holding my fat? you said that starving myself, using lax and purging is bad so why does it feel so right? you said a lot on things and none of them are right so why should I listen now just because you think I might

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