You've become the crawling in my skin
The rollercoaster dropping of my heart
The bad dreams that wake me to my own screams
The lack of courage I battle with
The anger in the pit of my stomach
The cries lost in my pillow
The loneliness that consumes me
And I didn't even lose you
I never even had you
Apr 8, 2015
Apr 8, 2015 at 9:32 AM UTC
If I lay blade to skin
Will I bleed out all the toxins that make me so undesirable.
If I rip open flesh
Will I tear away the pieces of me that repel.
Will the anger and loneliness seep from the wounds
Leaving me whole again.
Can't I just pretend
Mar 21, 2015
Mar 21, 2015 at 2:28 PM UTC
I do everything with you in mind
But you could live without me.
Mar 21, 2015
Mar 21, 2015 at 1:42 PM UTC
To even think you want me
Is wishful thinking done to death.
You just don't want to be the one to break me.
But you're what breaks me best.
Mar 17, 2015
Mar 17, 2015 at 11:53 AM UTC
While you're out there
living
Remember
You're only living off the life you're ******* from me.
Mar 14, 2015
Mar 14, 2015 at 12:29 AM UTC
what is this
A game
How do you win
Make it out alive
Do we use pawns
Your heart will do just fine
Mar 14, 2015
Mar 14, 2015 at 12:26 AM UTC
I am not my demons
They are made entirely of me.
They are the cruelties I've suffered,
Presenting themselves like tornados through small towns.
Towns that don't seem like much at a passing glance,
But who's residents never doubt
The beauty and potential it holds
If only you stay long enough to notice it.
But how can anyone see the beauty in towns
That are forever being brought to ruins.
At the mercy of something as destructive
And unpredictable
As a **** tornado?
Mar 10, 2015
Mar 10, 2015 at 11:15 AM UTC
Can't you just pretend that I am what you want?
Mar 6, 2015
Mar 6, 2015 at 11:47 AM UTC
You're not easy to read, and that scares the hell out of me.
Because you see, I'm a writer.
And when I can't read one's story, I begin to feign my own.
And well, I've never had a happy ending.
Mar 6, 2015
Mar 6, 2015 at 11:34 AM UTC
The truth is, regardless of how badly I want to, I can't find it in me to risk saying to you all the things I so badly want you to know. It's risky.
I know exactly what I want to say,
The words constantly dance
At the tip of my tongue
Always at the worst times.
But whenever a window of opportunity opens
My mouth forgets what it's purpose is
And my brain forgets what words are
Or what they even mean
And my heart forgets to beat at a safe pace
Instead threatening to ****** itself out of my chest
And into your face
And how could that not scare you off?
I cannot scare you off
So I tell you never mind
And I hate myself a little more
As I let my ear press against your chest
Somehow allowing all my life's worries to subside
With that the window slams shut.
I can't risk this.
You bring a calmness to the hours of my life
That are otherwise a hurricane of sorts
And well, I'm not trained in swimming
I always only drown
Mar 6, 2015
Mar 6, 2015 at 11:13 AM UTC