colleen-mary - Hello Poetry

i feel like the second *** of coffee that you brewed thinking you wanted more, however you quickly changed your mind about ever liking the taste in the first place.

0

Mar 7, 2017

Mar 7, 2017 at 10:10 AM UTC

coffee ***

i feel like the second *** of coffee that you brewed thinking you wanted more, however you quickly changed your mind about ever liking the taste in the first place.

1

september 2016 four-and-a-half months of almost nothing besides the comforting grey fleece of yours that I ashamedly clung onto, foolishly thinking that would freeze everything between us that once was. now I can't help but feel stupid when I look back that I missed the signs I was just playing your next victim. **** it, it just felt nice to have someone who cared and you barely had to put any effort in but it was enough to keep me radiating with happiness. and now I am sure that it is merely the idea of you that haunts me almost five months later, because the presence of present you sure as hell isn't the same version of the you that's stuck in my head. you know that I wanted you and to do you good at that, but of course you had to push me away because who has time to care let alone be cared about? ha, caring not a thing about how it used to be makes sense in the now, but I know I'm just wasting my thoughts away thinking about that. you're still playing this game though and I wish you would stop. I'm playing this game back but we both know I don't stand a chance. a simple "What are you doing" and "Come over?" and BAM, I'm all yours. except, just this last time something was real different that I don't think I'm going to be able to shake. ran around for an hour in the rain trying to meet up with you as I still didn't want to let you down despite all of your ******** when my teeth- chattering, soaked from head-to toe self finally made it to you and laid beside you in bed, it felt just like old times for a split second or two. it was then that I reminded you that I still had your hoodie. you barely remembered that I still had it and acted as though you couldn't even remember why you let me borrow it in the first place. december 2016 **** it, another 3 months came and went and i never built up the nerve to throw your hoodie back at you and walk out of your life. every time i went to do so you crept back in as though you had missed me, i knew better that you hadn't but i wanted so badly to believe it. i don't understand why i can't shake the good times we've shared in the past and why i just can't seem to move on. back in september i couldn't even sleep next to you because i barely recognized the version of you lying next to me. guilt consumed my entire being and i had to get up and leave your embrace. lying alone in my own bed had never seemed more appealing in my life. with that thought, i left your side at 5 am that crisp September morning and ran across town to my apartment and vowed to never put myself in that predicament again. that predicament, of course, being your faux caring embrace, your toxic kisses, and your complete naivety. i like to tell myself that you are just naive to how much hurt you have truly caused me, because otherwise some of what you have done (if intentional) should be a **** crime. it ***** feeling as though i am not enough for you, i don't know why i care but that's all i've wanted to be. as the weather got colder, i got weaker. although i promised to give you up, i still wanted you near me. after a few too many drinks, i seem to continue to become a mere thought in your mind. stupid me, i seem to always get this confused as you actually giving a flying **** about me. if i said that i want more than anything to leave you in the past, i'd unfortunately be lying to myself. i know this needs to be done, but all i can hope for now is that sooner rather than later- the flicker of hope that i still have extinguishes itself. to be continued.........

0

Dec 24, 2016

Dec 24, 2016 at 12:10 AM UTC

hoodie.

september 2016 four-and-a-half months of almost nothing besides the comforting grey fleece of yours that I ashamedly clung onto, foolishly thinking that would freeze everything between us that once was. now I can't help but feel stupid when I look back that I missed the signs I was just playing your next victim. **** it, it just felt nice to have someone who cared and you barely had to put any effort in but it was enough to keep me radiating with happiness. and now I am sure that it is merely the idea of you that haunts me almost five months later, because the presence of present you sure as hell isn't the same version of the you that's stuck in my head. you know that I wanted you and to do you good at that, but of course you had to push me away because who has time to care let alone be cared about? ha, caring not a thing about how it used to be makes sense in the now, but I know I'm just wasting my thoughts away thinking about that. you're still playing this game though and I wish you would stop. I'm playing this game back but we both know I don't stand a chance. a simple "What are you doing" and "Come over?" and BAM, I'm all yours. except, just this last time something was real different that I don't think I'm going to be able to shake. ran around for an hour in the rain trying to meet up with you as I still didn't want to let you down despite all of your ******** when my teeth- chattering, soaked from head-to toe self finally made it to you and laid beside you in bed, it felt just like old times for a split second or two. it was then that I reminded you that I still had your hoodie. you barely remembered that I still had it and acted as though you couldn't even remember why you let me borrow it in the first place. december 2016 **** it, another 3 months came and went and i never built up the nerve to throw your hoodie back at you and walk out of your life. every time i went to do so you crept back in as though you had missed me, i knew better that you hadn't but i wanted so badly to believe it. i don't understand why i can't shake the good times we've shared in the past and why i just can't seem to move on. back in september i couldn't even sleep next to you because i barely recognized the version of you lying next to me. guilt consumed my entire being and i had to get up and leave your embrace. lying alone in my own bed had never seemed more appealing in my life. with that thought, i left your side at 5 am that crisp September morning and ran across town to my apartment and vowed to never put myself in that predicament again. that predicament, of course, being your faux caring embrace, your toxic kisses, and your complete naivety. i like to tell myself that you are just naive to how much hurt you have truly caused me, because otherwise some of what you have done (if intentional) should be a **** crime. it ***** feeling as though i am not enough for you, i don't know why i care but that's all i've wanted to be. as the weather got colder, i got weaker. although i promised to give you up, i still wanted you near me. after a few too many drinks, i seem to continue to become a mere thought in your mind. stupid me, i seem to always get this confused as you actually giving a flying **** about me. if i said that i want more than anything to leave you in the past, i'd unfortunately be lying to myself. i know this needs to be done, but all i can hope for now is that sooner rather than later- the flicker of hope that i still have extinguishes itself. to be continued.........

22

the leaves fly rapidly off the trees, specks of color visible as they swirl and hover above the ground. just as the leaves are whisked off the trees by the slight breeze; i was whisked off my feet by your sweet kissing. you tasted as sweet as my pumpkin coffee, which has become my newest addiction in order to help fill your void. sure, the falling for you part felt great but now i can't help but shutter at the twisted fate of the leaves falling to the ground. when the leaves are in mid-air, i think of the spontaneity and spark we felt when we met. as they hover above the ground just before they touch it, i think about the confusion i felt when you began to pull away. when they hit the ground, i think of everyone that'll destroy their beauty by walking all over them. i feel as though i was your favorite leaf for a short while and now i'm one of the many you're crunching beneath your shoe.

0

Oct 10, 2016

Oct 10, 2016 at 1:03 AM UTC

autumn kisses.

the leaves fly rapidly off the trees, specks of color visible as they swirl and hover above the ground. just as the leaves are whisked off the trees by the slight breeze; i was whisked off my feet by your sweet kissing. you tasted as sweet as my pumpkin coffee, which has become my newest addiction in order to help fill your void. sure, the falling for you part felt great but now i can't help but shutter at the twisted fate of the leaves falling to the ground. when the leaves are in mid-air, i think of the spontaneity and spark we felt when we met. as they hover above the ground just before they touch it, i think about the confusion i felt when you began to pull away. when they hit the ground, i think of everyone that'll destroy their beauty by walking all over them. i feel as though i was your favorite leaf for a short while and now i'm one of the many you're crunching beneath your shoe.

13

you know that feeling when you've had too much of something, yet that limit doesn't seem to exist cause you can't get enough? excited, breathless, flushed, happy and did i mention, happy? sunshine can make you feel all of the above and so can you, babe. the sun isn't the only one to thank for my glow as of recent- you make me beam with happiness and always leave me wanting more. when our bodies are intertwined whether we are being intimate or just cuddling, all of those feelings i brought up above just crash over me. i love basking in the sun as much as I love the heat that flushes over my entire body whenever we are lying next to each other but I can't help hating both at the same exact time.... one too many times i have been burned by the sun (as i have been burned by previous "lovers") & i've just barely escaped being poisoned by the sun and them, i can't help but worry that you might intoxicate me with your kisses and leave as though i have no more significance to you in your life than the ground below your feet that you walk over all day. you see though, the problem with this is your absence will turn poisonous instantaneously and will have the same affect on me as sun poisoning. my heart is fragile and my body is sweltering from the sun's heat & your body's heat but i wish for both to prosper. you seem to keep the stormy skies away- please stay a while.

0

Jul 18, 2016

Jul 18, 2016 at 5:09 PM UTC

sunshine.

you know that feeling when you've had too much of something, yet that limit doesn't seem to exist cause you can't get enough? excited, breathless, flushed, happy and did i mention, happy? sunshine can make you feel all of the above and so can you, babe. the sun isn't the only one to thank for my glow as of recent- you make me beam with happiness and always leave me wanting more. when our bodies are intertwined whether we are being intimate or just cuddling, all of those feelings i brought up above just crash over me. i love basking in the sun as much as I love the heat that flushes over my entire body whenever we are lying next to each other but I can't help hating both at the same exact time.... one too many times i have been burned by the sun (as i have been burned by previous "lovers") & i've just barely escaped being poisoned by the sun and them, i can't help but worry that you might intoxicate me with your kisses and leave as though i have no more significance to you in your life than the ground below your feet that you walk over all day. you see though, the problem with this is your absence will turn poisonous instantaneously and will have the same affect on me as sun poisoning. my heart is fragile and my body is sweltering from the sun's heat & your body's heat but i wish for both to prosper. you seem to keep the stormy skies away- please stay a while.

19

broken promises and chapped lips, taste of rebellion and tears shed from missing home. when I think back on the 20th year of my life all of these things and more come to mind. what a year it has been, I can barely recognize myself when I first turned 20. how was I to know this year would take me on such a crazy ride marked by a few major things. first off-the dingy carnival lights that glistened in his deceiving blue eyes. lesson learned: people will say and do anything for certain things that most certainly aren't in your best interest. secondly- the harsh realization of what it really feels like to be all alone (independence is hard) lesson learned: you never are truly all alone; even if physically nobody else is around, loved ones are only a call/text away to cure the feeling. thirdly- it's hard sometimes, real real hard to love yourself when you feel as though people from your past have suggested that you're essentially impossible to like, let alone love. lesson learned: when you are unsure of your own worth your heart often stumbles into the wrong hands which isn't your fault BUT with the right amount of self love- your heart will not fall or stumble but will be placed in the right hands. (I promise) and lastly- I learned that life stops for nobody. It's ok to dance like a complete fool and if people judge, then cool. we aren't going to be around forever and essentially people's opinions are little blips of information that mean nothing. i'm sure I'll forget this advice a few times once I turn 21 and onward, which is why I've written this poem. (Happy 21st to me- stay strong)

0

Jun 14, 2016

Jun 14, 2016 at 10:44 AM UTC

Goodbye 20, Hello 21.

broken promises and chapped lips, taste of rebellion and tears shed from missing home. when I think back on the 20th year of my life all of these things and more come to mind. what a year it has been, I can barely recognize myself when I first turned 20. how was I to know this year would take me on such a crazy ride marked by a few major things. first off-the dingy carnival lights that glistened in his deceiving blue eyes. lesson learned: people will say and do anything for certain things that most certainly aren't in your best interest. secondly- the harsh realization of what it really feels like to be all alone (independence is hard) lesson learned: you never are truly all alone; even if physically nobody else is around, loved ones are only a call/text away to cure the feeling. thirdly- it's hard sometimes, real real hard to love yourself when you feel as though people from your past have suggested that you're essentially impossible to like, let alone love. lesson learned: when you are unsure of your own worth your heart often stumbles into the wrong hands which isn't your fault BUT with the right amount of self love- your heart will not fall or stumble but will be placed in the right hands. (I promise) and lastly- I learned that life stops for nobody. It's ok to dance like a complete fool and if people judge, then cool. we aren't going to be around forever and essentially people's opinions are little blips of information that mean nothing. i'm sure I'll forget this advice a few times once I turn 21 and onward, which is why I've written this poem. (Happy 21st to me- stay strong)

21

why do I fall so fastly? haven't I learned I would save myself a whole lot of hurt by slowing down? hopeless romantic I am but gosh **** this shouldn't be as bad as it is. tired of the single life, terrified of the dating life: I just want to feel wanted.

0

Mar 16, 2016

Mar 16, 2016 at 1:28 AM UTC

slow down.

why do I fall so fastly? haven't I learned I would save myself a whole lot of hurt by slowing down? hopeless romantic I am but gosh **** this shouldn't be as bad as it is. tired of the single life, terrified of the dating life: I just want to feel wanted.

7

the warm sun hits my face and here i sit thinking: if I was still to be counting the days since the last time I felt at home when my lips were on your lips and our bodies were intertwined- i'd be wasting my precious time away. you were never home, you were more or less a hotel room i had wrongfully mistaken for home. you made me feel comfy&cozy; for the time being and then kicked me out as if i was nothing and then quickly replaced me with new tenants. joke is on you, i might have thought i needed you but i made it through the winter without you& now spring is upon us and i'm thrilled to further distance myself from the time I messed up by calling you "HOME" thanks for not sticking around. ~CMD

0

Mar 16, 2016

Mar 16, 2016 at 1:21 AM UTC

spring break.

the warm sun hits my face and here i sit thinking: if I was still to be counting the days since the last time I felt at home when my lips were on your lips and our bodies were intertwined- i'd be wasting my precious time away. you were never home, you were more or less a hotel room i had wrongfully mistaken for home. you made me feel comfy&cozy; for the time being and then kicked me out as if i was nothing and then quickly replaced me with new tenants. joke is on you, i might have thought i needed you but i made it through the winter without you& now spring is upon us and i'm thrilled to further distance myself from the time I messed up by calling you "HOME" thanks for not sticking around. ~CMD

21

here you and i are again, nothing is the same from the last time. your presence feels as though it is a mirage. surely this is because i thought that i finally found the strength to leave you behind. **** it; how come you always make your way back into my life? can't help but fail weak for allowing you to make amends with me. you appear to be a changed person which is refreshing yet irritating. the truth is, you can't change the hurt you caused me in the past. you can say "sorry" til you're blue in the face, yet that takes nothing back. hate to let you down or ruin your pride parade, i just need to do what's best for me once and for all. running back to your arms for the first time ever feels lethal.

0

Jan 7, 2016

Jan 7, 2016 at 1:02 AM UTC

please, take me off of repeat

here you and i are again, nothing is the same from the last time. your presence feels as though it is a mirage. surely this is because i thought that i finally found the strength to leave you behind. **** it; how come you always make your way back into my life? can't help but fail weak for allowing you to make amends with me. you appear to be a changed person which is refreshing yet irritating. the truth is, you can't change the hurt you caused me in the past. you can say "sorry" til you're blue in the face, yet that takes nothing back. hate to let you down or ruin your pride parade, i just need to do what's best for me once and for all. running back to your arms for the first time ever feels lethal.

10

call it the year of uncertainty. stuck waiting for my days to feel less confusing and for myself to stop feeling so **** dizzy as a result. can't stop pondering what crazy ride this year has in store me. i thought the change last year brought about was exhilarating yet exhausting. all i can hope is that someway, somehow i'm ready for what this year is going to bring. maybe this is the year sparks finally fly for me in the romance department or maybe this is the year i fully grow to discover and love myself first. or maybe this is the year i break down because my heart gets shattered into more pieces than it can handle. or possibly worse this might be the year i fully lose myself in the whirlwind of my own life. i really don't know, all I do know is i hope and pray to keep my sanity.

0

Jan 7, 2016

Jan 7, 2016 at 12:55 AM UTC

2016

call it the year of uncertainty. stuck waiting for my days to feel less confusing and for myself to stop feeling so **** dizzy as a result. can't stop pondering what crazy ride this year has in store me. i thought the change last year brought about was exhilarating yet exhausting. all i can hope is that someway, somehow i'm ready for what this year is going to bring. maybe this is the year sparks finally fly for me in the romance department or maybe this is the year i fully grow to discover and love myself first. or maybe this is the year i break down because my heart gets shattered into more pieces than it can handle. or possibly worse this might be the year i fully lose myself in the whirlwind of my own life. i really don't know, all I do know is i hope and pray to keep my sanity.

12

the christmas lights glisten as your eyes once did. i want to be more vibrant and bright than the lights, but it appears that when you left- you stripped my world of color. now you're just a shade of grey that still consumes my thoughts. i know you don't care,but: I've figured out ways to color in the vibrancy and brightness of my life that fortunately for me doesn't involve YOU.

0

Dec 26, 2015

Dec 26, 2015 at 1:48 AM UTC

don't be afraid to shine bright(er).

the christmas lights glisten as your eyes once did. i want to be more vibrant and bright than the lights, but it appears that when you left- you stripped my world of color. now you're just a shade of grey that still consumes my thoughts. i know you don't care,but: I've figured out ways to color in the vibrancy and brightness of my life that fortunately for me doesn't involve YOU.

11