24-7
Heart beating so fast
I'm a need a machine to start keeping up that
Before this knocks me on ***
Gave it my everything
Gave you my all
But you fucjing let me fall
And now all I can do I ball
Its lkke a ******* haunted hall
Your spirit won't leave me alone
You're the devil
And you're feeding off of me
Jusy let me ******* be
I need to be set free
From my thoughts
From my brain
From my memory
It's eating at me
Like magets on open flesh
There's about to be nothing left
Because you have taken the rest
The rest of me
Can't you see
Do you even care
Or are you just a player
Who thinks he's got smooth air
Your air is polluted
Like the streets in China
Foggy for miles
Can't see a foot in front of you
Yet you tell me you're one of the best
Ha yeah maybe one of the best narcissistic.
That's all you got
Amd the talent to **** peoples hearts minds and spirits right off this earth and into to the dark black underworld of satin himself
Oct 14, 2022
Oct 14, 2022 at 9:08 PM UTC
I hate me because I love you.
****** up to the core.
Aug 13, 2022
Aug 13, 2022 at 11:37 PM UTC
Pain pain I thought I scared you away.
Here you are again throwing me to my knees. Scrapes and screams.
Why can't you just let me be?
Cursed at conception.
Forgotten at birth.
Left alone in life.
I died in your arms tonight.
Now I stand here barely able to fight.
Trembling and shaking.
I knew one day I'd finally break.
Therapy therapy come to me before I set myself free.
Beginning to be afraid of me.
Stuck on you, broken by you , and now forgotten by you.
There's millions of people in this world but it feels like I could scream and not a single soul could hear me.
Whispers in my ear. Go the other way they say.
You're the one that I want. Never felt this way before but it don't matter anymore because you walked out the door.
Life hates me.
I'm beginning to hate life all over again.
The universe hates me.
Why didn't I die all those times I was supposed to?
Why am I here if it only feels like death is always near?
Simplicity and peace.
Love and kindness.
Its all I want.
When I think of losing you I get physical pain in my chest, tears fill my eyes, and I begun to scream inside.
I'm so sad.
I'm broken.
I've only left the door open and yet it gets slammed in my face.
Life is so hard.
It's not fair.
I'm not winning.
I'm losing.
Starving for you.
Quenched for endless love.
Dying to have you happy by my side.
You're the ocean I fell in love with.
Want to spend my days and nights with you until my time here on Earth has expired.
I'm so sorry.
So sorry for everything.
You're the one.
The one I will love for always.
You're on a pedestal.
I put you there and now I sit here and suffer. Gasping for air.
My last words will be I love you.
Goodluck to you.
My forever dear.
May you find your peace and your happy.
Good ridden to you.
I shall take the path of the unknown again.
I love you.
Aug 5, 2022
Aug 5, 2022 at 9:21 PM UTC
Heart break
Heart break
Knocking on my door.
It'll be okay.
Just another ****** day.
Starting to believe I don't belong here or anywhere.
Not in this house.
Not in this town.
God, I hate this town anyway.
Want to be on my way out of here
On the road it feels like that's where I belong.
Broken and beaten
But the road has a way
Of finding my heart and putting it back in place.
Jun 9, 2022
Jun 9, 2022 at 7:56 PM UTC
In this life of ours we will walk many paths.
As we age we will watch the days and years pass us by. We will create many chapters in the book we will one day call, “The story of my life”.
For some of us, we will have several chapters and books. Others, maybe not so lucky. If lucky is what you want to call it.
Every day is a new opportunity to begin again; to start all over and let yesterdays time turn to dust just as we will someday.
You see, time is a fragile thing. We must hold on to it dearly. For it is like a river and the same flow will never pass twice.
Once it’s gone it’s gone.
With each sun rising we must learn to rise again even if the rays aren’t shining so bright.
We must create our own sunshine.
To be our own friend is a beautiful gift.
For if we cannot love ourself wholesomely and wholeheartedly who will?
It is up to us to create the life we want.
If you don’t like something, change it.
It’s truly as simple as that.
How to change it?
That’s the real question.
Analyzing.
Time.
Desire.
Self-motivation.
Self-care.
Self-love.
These are all key factors to living a beautiful and happy life.
We mustn't waste time.
You have to ask yourself, “What is it that I want?”
Draw. Paint. Write. Sing. Dance.
Let your soul show you what it is that it truly desires.
Lay that beating beauty on the table
And let it speak.
Let your soul shine into the direction you must be.
Listen to it.
Go to it.
Find it.
Live it and love it.
Apr 3, 2022
Apr 3, 2022 at 12:51 PM UTC
You think you know someone.
You put all of your trust and faith into them.
Put all your time and dedication into them
Just to end up broken hearted.
Mistreated.
Mislead.
About to be thrown over the edge.
You worked hard to build up your life just to have it all thrown away in the end.
I’ve ****** up so much good for myself
And now I hang my head in shame.
Constant shame and regret fills my brain.
I must move on from this.
I can’t keep dwelling on what I once had.
It’s time to move forward.
Finish the chapter.
End the book.
Here’s to a new beginning.
A new home.
A new house.
And even new friends.
Every day is a new day.
Another chance to begin again.
I will not surrender to my fears.
I will not surrender to my broken-hearted ness.
I will continue on.
I will be strong.
For this will be yet one of the greatest lessons I’ve been given.
To have been given the strength to get through the things such as this
I am blessed.
I am grateful.
Carry on and move on I will.
It’s time time to end the shame I put on myself.
For now is my time to shine again.
I will come out stronger and even more wise than before.
I’m thankful for the strength I’ve been given.
It’s time to pave a new path.
Set the anxiety aside.
No more need to feel the things I feel.
It’s time to put myself at ease.
Find the peace.
Release the serenity into the air.
One big breath out.
One gigantic breath in.
Let the beauty of the life begin.
Dec 3, 2021
Dec 3, 2021 at 12:11 AM UTC
I’m ready.
I’m ready to rise once again.
I’m ready to leave you behind.
Say goodbye
And watch you disappear ocean deep miles behind me.
You’ve taken me.
You’ve broken me.
Shattered me.
Manipulated me.
Made me question my own worth over and over.
Hurt me and then pointed your ***** finger at me as if I’m the one to blame.
So many times I would almost be convinced that it was really me that was the issue.
Try so hard to convince myself that none of it’s true.
It’s you.
You’re a narcissist.
Completely.
Shame on you for hurting me.
Shame on me for allowing it to be.
No more of this will be.
I promise to myself I will only accept what’s best for me.
Go away.
Leave me alone.
Just leave me alone.
I need to heal.
Heal in peace.
Just let me be.
Set me free.
Dec 2, 2021
Dec 2, 2021 at 1:19 AM UTC
Shake me, wake me, and ******* break me. Lightness to darkness.
Darkness to light.
There is no end in sight.
You say things out of spite.
It sparks a fight.
Your break my heart in the night.
It’s clear as day.
I want you anyways.
Shake, tremble, and fall.
This isn’t no beautiful dance hall.
I remember the day
The very moment that I fell in love you.
What a mistake I’ve made.
I gave my heart only to be betrayed.
When will I learn?
At this point it almost feels like never.
Who am I?
I’m not even me when I’m with you.
No, I can’t be myself when I’m around you.
Artificial unsettled me.
Chaotic world.
Stressful, anxiety- filled atmosphere.
I need to find a way to walk away.
I just can’t do this anymore.
You’re not for me.
I’m not for you.
Lord help you find your way through
Your own craziness.
I pray for you.
You could be a good man but you’ve proven to me it will not ever be for me.
Two years too long here we go
Spinning around endlessly
Until we fall and crash into one another.
Bruised and pained from all the hurt.
Yet we keep holding on as if there’s a chance of hope but why?
We know where we’re headed.
It’s time to put an end to what isn’t even in true existence.
We’re only failing ourselves.
Holding onto artificial hope.
I do love you but I believe it’s time we help each other up and off the ground.
It’s time to shake heads and wish one another farewell.
Farewell my dear friend.
Jul 23, 2021
Jul 23, 2021 at 3:28 AM UTC
Up in my head.
Floating in the clouds.
Nowhere to go.
Nowhere to be.
Wish I could just be let free.
Eleven years later I’m thinking it’s still the easiest way out.
Easily misplaced and replaced.
Misunderstood.
Just trying to find a place to hide in this hood.
Home isn’t a familiar term.
What is home?
A safe place to hide.
I’m dying inside.
Unretrievable.
Completely deceivable.
There ain’t no place to hide from this.
Can’t even mentally escape myself.
Not unless I choose the unsober path.
It’s an unbreakable cycle.
Ocean rises above me.
There’s no stopping the current from taking me under.
Let the ocean take me
Or swim into it to find an escape?
Jul 22, 2021
Jul 22, 2021 at 10:20 PM UTC