And I do not regret
Every tear I let come out while you were looking at me
I feel
Those were my feelings
I do not regret feeling any of it
And I know it's a process now
But hey
I did have the courage to express everything I needed to.
You're the coward
And you won't get far with that
And maybe not now
But you will regret it
And if you don't do it with me
You will with someone else
I'm glad I got through this
And now it may not be straight but it's not with you anymore
Mar 17, 2022
Mar 17, 2022 at 12:31 AM UTC
I feel like I'm being eaten by my thoughts
A lot
Constantly
I think this is my loneliness speaking
And I just feel kinda empty when no one is talking to me
Is this being needy?
I don't enjoy it
My head feels like it's about to explode
With all my daily hipocrisia
I just feel so far away from all the things I want
And pressured with the stuff I have to do
Is this adult life?
Been here for a while
But this feels different
Quitting is not even an option
But I'm not moving forward
What is this?
Fear it's not since I've been on the **** situations so many times
I know I can deal with them
Then what is it?
Was something inside of me destroyed?
I feel like I'm on a self-bubble and it's quite hard to have will to even go to ***
That's the level of outrageous
What am I doing?
What am I missing?
Mar 17, 2022
Mar 17, 2022 at 12:29 AM UTC
It's hard to look at myself
It's hard to think about myself
It's hard not to hate myself
And I don't wanna cry
But the tears fall before I can even wipe them away
I wish someone could understand me
Or worship me shall I say?
What the hell do I want?
What do I need to have to feel any different from this?
Love is ****
Happiness is not enough or even limitless
The world is cruel
And I don't know what I'm becoming in all this
I really don't perceive myself as a good person
Am I victimizing myself?
What am I doing?
I don't know where I began
I don't see an end
It's really hard you know?
What am I even doing?
I don't wanna die
But what am I living for?
Mar 17, 2022
Mar 17, 2022 at 12:28 AM UTC
Maybe I was just drowning in the thought of you,
Of what I made myself think was you.
I didn't see any flaws
And if they tried to appear I'd just cover them with tape and say they were okay.
That I was fine with whatever pain you made me go through.
But that's a lie only I can admit.
It was a truth for so long in my head,
That I didn't really know the possibility of this.
Of all this being what it is.
It's all inside my head,
That "I've never loved someone like you",
It's all in my head.
Ate me alive for 3 months,
Until now,
When I realize,
I'm not your food,
Or anyone's food.
I'm not food at all.
And I'm not going to let this feeling eat me anymore.
I quit love.
I quit this self lie.
I hope I don't ever see you again.
Feb 21, 2022
Feb 21, 2022 at 9:25 PM UTC
Let's go,
My heart doesn't think,
It feels.
And that's ****
So imma take it out.
I'm into bleeding,
So I'll take the opportunity and let some come out before I close the hole.
You say it's impossible to survive?
I was never into living anyways.
It *****
Oct 20, 2021
Oct 20, 2021 at 2:47 PM UTC
If I dye my hair pink
Do you think my emotions will turn innocent?
Do you even perceive pink as a innocent color?
What do you want me to be?
I'll be it just to get your attention,
Just to get your time.
Give me sugar,
So I can bleed and be sweet at the same time.
Sugar doesn't heal,
But it makes you feel better for some time.
But I'll only eat it until I feel full.
I don't wanna get fat,
So I'll throw you out too.
I'll dye my hair black then,
So you know you'll never see me again.
Cause black is a mean color,
And you're not into mean girls
Jul 22, 2021
Jul 22, 2021 at 6:13 PM UTC
I think I miss you,
But then I re-think it.
And I see I miss the things I was able to do with you,
I miss the way you tried to make me feel when I was sad sometimes,
I miss the way you loved me until some point.
But I don’t miss you.
I just would like to have what I miss back,
But I can’t,
‘Cause that would mean I would have to have you again.
And I don’t want that.
I don’t want that pain again.
I only want the happy things you were able to give me.
I want the piece you took out of me,
The love you took out of me.
But I can't have it back.
So tell me,
Will I be able to love again without everything that is missing?
May 9, 2018
May 9, 2018 at 6:55 AM UTC
Deep in,
Inside you.
I only want to hurt you,
Don't let me in.
I know I'll hurt myself by making you feel pain.
I know this is the rain,
That I have to let fall on me.
Like little pieces of glass that you can't see,
Until they hurt a nerve and you start bleeding.
Blood from your veins like a river for a end seeking,
It won't stop.
I won't stop.
Let me hurt you,
But don't let me damage you.
You don't deserve this pain,
This rain.
But I do,
That's why I'm doing this not for me but for you.
I need to lose you,
So I can cry honestly trough.
May 9, 2018
May 9, 2018 at 6:34 AM UTC
We are all humans right?
Humans with fears,
Humans that shed tears.
Humans that should be treated equally,
Humans that shouldn't have to suffer without reasons.
Humans that have the right to choose what they believe in or not.
So why isn't this happening?
Why are we not being treated equally?
Why are we suffering without reasons?
Why are we being stopped from having the right to choose what we believe in?
Why all this?
This shouldn't happen.
This can't keep happening.
But I know I can't do it alone.
I need you.
They need you.
People are being tortured right now,
They're suffering so much right now.
They need us.
It might be them today,
But tomorrow it can be you or me.
And do you actually feel alright not doing anything about this?
Do you feel good not helping your own kind just because it isn't you or someone you know in person?
Do they deserve this?
Would we deserve it?
Being hurt for wanting to believe in what we want?
For having free will?
Is that a reason to be tortured?
To be killed?
To have our loved ones taken out from us and have them being hurt?
To be thrown away into prison?
To be brainwashed?
To be taken out everything we cherish and love?
No!
It is not,
And it'll never be a reason.
You and me know that.
Now spread the word,
And make the difference.
If you really call yourself,
An human being,
Let's end this tyranny.
Mar 26, 2018
Mar 26, 2018 at 9:19 AM UTC
*You call poison life,
While you lie with your broken and teary eyes.
You try to feel the window glass,
To see if you'll find any of my fingerprints.
You break everything while you scream my name,
In a try to delete the oxygen I breathed out calling yours.
You listen to the train's sound where we used to hangout,
So you can forget the sound of my voice that's stuck in your head.
You spend all your money on cigarettes,
Then cry while you smoke them.
You touch and hurt your lips from time to time,
Because they never said goodbye to mine.
You say your blood is blue,
'Cause that was my favorite colour.
You don't sleep,
'Cause the bed still smells like me.
You regret not yelling more at me,
And telling me how stupid I was for loving you.
You like to burn the clothes I left all over the place,
So you can **** my scent.
So basically,
**You miss me,
And you can't take it anymore*.
Feb 8, 2018
Feb 8, 2018 at 4:45 AM UTC