i once believed that i was flying,
dancing across the night sky in a gown made of silken songs
and
beautiful ribbons dripping with golden memories
the second star never shone so bright,
my Neverland was on the tip of my tongue
the resolving note of an airy melody,
my fingers nearly tripping over themselves in a rush to find it
for a fleeting moment the world was saccharine
enveloped in the bleary morning light
eyes not yet adjusted, heart not yet steeled
for the harsh light of day
i almost found my Neverland
but
it was much darker
than i had once believed.
Nov 12, 2014
Nov 12, 2014 at 7:34 AM UTC
I just felt the rain on my bare skin.
I felt my bones rattling in my body,
chilled by the night sky.
I've heard the crack of thunder
as frequently as I've gone to the cinema,
and I've seen lightning seep in through my windows
to remind me what day of the month it is.
But the rain,
those bittersweet tears,
I haven't felt that in God knows how long.
Sep 27, 2014
Sep 27, 2014 at 5:40 AM UTC
Nineteen, I'm turning nineteen on Monday.
Eighteen, the birthday I knew I was in love with you.
Seventeen, we spent the night drinking tequila and skinny dipping.
Sixteen of my poems are about you.
Fifteen, the year I didn't see you in the shadow of someone else.
Fourteen, the day I left.
Thirteen, the times we've spoken in the past 6 months.
Twelve photos of us together.
Eleven more of you.
Ten, it's around this time I start to miss you.
Nine songs reminding me of you.
Eight notes humming your name.
Seven hundred and sixty
Six miles from you to me.
Five times I've cried in your car,
Four not knowing that there would be
Three words that I couldn't say, because you stayed
Two minutes, when I needed
One hour; alone with you.
Nineteen, I'm turning nineteen on Monday.
And for the first time in four years, you won't be there.
Aug 1, 2014
Aug 1, 2014 at 1:51 AM UTC
It’s 3:40 AM
and
I can’t feel my hands
but
I’m still thinking
about
how your skin would feel
under
the tips of my fingers.
Jun 10, 2014
Jun 10, 2014 at 4:14 AM UTC
and if i could,
i’d change everything for you.
because you’re the center of my universe.
and even when i can’t feel my tongue toes or fingers,
i can still feel you.
Jun 9, 2014
Jun 9, 2014 at 3:32 AM UTC
the thought of him falling for a girl
who doesn't see the sun rise
when she looks in his eyes
or feel galaxies forming underneath his fingertips
when he holds her while she cries
***** the air right out of my lungs.
because there is an entire universe inside of that boy,
and he deserves someone who sees it.
Apr 20, 2014
Apr 20, 2014 at 2:10 AM UTC
i sang on friday night.
and i was terrified.
and i was sad.
so i taped your picture in my notebook.
and i looked at it when i forgot the words.
and i pretended you were there.
it's been so long since i've seen your face.
and i can't remember the sound of your voice.
and i don't even dream of you anymore.
but still, i sang on friday night.
and it was wonderful.
and it was all for you.
Mar 31, 2014
Mar 31, 2014 at 2:28 AM UTC
i scar easily
i have dark marks on my legs
from where i cut myself shaving
i scar easily
i have a constant pit in my stomach
from words said to me five years ago
i scar easily
there are thin lines on my left arm
from when i fell into a bush as a kid
i scar easily
i'm still bruised
from a boy who dropped me in a heartbeat
i scar easily
there's a bump on my head
from hitting my head just a little too hard on the wall
i scar easily
and the tissue is already forming around my heart
from where you've just carelessly cut it
Mar 10, 2014
Mar 10, 2014 at 2:22 AM UTC
if you want me,
show me.
kiss me.
tell me.
grab my ******* waist.
talk to all your friends about me,
and kiss my forehead when i'm sad.
if you really want me,
don't play it safe.
we can't just sit at the starting line.
it's not enough to hold my hand in private,
just on friday nights.
if you really ******* want me,
tell me.
kiss me.
show me.
i need you to mean it.
Feb 19, 2014
Feb 19, 2014 at 5:12 PM UTC
i may get drunk
and let other boys take my hand
or kiss me till they're gone
and i have heard
too many drunk "you're beautiful"s
to believe it when you say it
but words and hands
and empty kisses
mean nothing
so i'm sorry
if my saturday antics ever hurt you
but know that you are my sunday morning,
and i would trade a million nights
just to get one more morning with you
Feb 8, 2014
Feb 8, 2014 at 4:00 PM UTC