Turns out
Endless
only applied when i was blind
blinded by the memories
which reciprocated my weak self.
now
i am myself again
stronger
independent
caring
youthful
I found myself
learning from the pain
i found myself with someone
who doesn't allow me to lose my true self
in order to be happy
endless with you stopped when i realized my worth
and began again when
i found myself
found someone
who appreciates that word
who returns the meaning and actions
i have found myself
giving that word
Endless
a whole new meaning
to myself.
Jun 15, 2018
Jun 15, 2018 at 5:59 AM UTC
you played me like one of your toys and left me among your trophies on your shelves, just for show. I want to warn people about your dangerous eyes, the way they pierced into my soul and allowed me to lose myself in you. the way you fed me with all these memories of your face and your smile, just to leave me, stuck, with these reminiscence of you.
although you hurt me in ways no one could,
we grew into people we never imagined we would become.
for good or for bad, we built each other up, and tore each other down.
the sole difference between us,
is that i thank you for what you've done to me
while you think I would do anything to spite you.
another difference is that
you built me up, tore me down and left me broken,
while I make sure that you're okay.
the thing is
that
I'll always care.
Even in 42 days, or 289 days
I will always care for you
and thank you for what you've done to me/
When I said the word
endlessly
to you,
I meant it
..
I always will.
Jan 4, 2018
Jan 4, 2018 at 5:09 PM UTC
12 months
12 months of self love
no more self deprivation.
12 months to spread love
no more hatred.
12 months of pure bliss
for myself and no one else.
12 months of pain
to help me grow, not to scar me.
12 months.
all it takes is 12 months to have a fresh start once again.
12 months to forget about you.
i hope it's enough.
12 months all to myself
for my own bliss, not yours.
i loved you
now its time for myself.
Jan 4, 2018
Jan 4, 2018 at 4:45 PM UTC
the best worst year
of my 16 years on this sphere we all call home,
which to be honest has not been feeling like
home lately.
2o17
the year of
remorse
insanity
loss
and growth.
the pain felt throughout the past 12 months,
\physical and emotional/
the torment that tore me apart
limb from limb
has only pushed me to grow
as a person
and taught me to strive higher.
2o18
the year where i start from the top
.
and only go higher.
Jan 1, 2018
Jan 1, 2018 at 11:43 AM UTC
realizing my worth and value
in people's lives made me aware
that you are not the loss
i am.
when people let go of me
i hold myself responsible for it
and begin reminiscing on everything you have done for me.
instead,
i should think about how much i have sacrificed for people
how valuable my relationship to some
really is.
i should know my value
and stop bringing myself down for others.
i am back
from months of misconstruction and rebuttal.
back from hours and days of crying to the memories of you.
back to my whole self;
Dec 16, 2017
Dec 16, 2017 at 10:07 AM UTC
i live in delusion
or denial
i don't really know what's worse.
letting me go with invalid promises
promises
that would haunt
my lonely nights
and make me lose myself in the
thought of you.
the dates i met you
and felt your lips against me will
forever
be engraved in my mind.
the days i lost myself to you for the first time
unknowingly that
you
would be the person to wreck me
put me back together
and destroy me.
Dec 16, 2017
Dec 16, 2017 at 10:00 AM UTC
some people say closure is ********
to me,
closure is being able to know the
why
what and
how.
-
why you left with no warning
or why you did what you did.
-
what was the point of it,
us.
-
how did you let go so easily
i need to know or i will stay stuck;
stuck on the thought of you.
you did it for yourself
regardless my pain and emotions.
i need closure
to let go.
Dec 16, 2017
Dec 16, 2017 at 9:50 AM UTC