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chikibaby_111
chikibaby_111
F/En las montañas Poemas y escritos del corazon/poems & writings from the heart
I think I’m finally starting to understand not everything has to turn into something even if I wanted it to I trusted you easily maybe too easily I always try to see the good in people even when it starts hurting me I forgave things I probably shouldn’t have I stayed longer than I should’ve and I kept hoping something would change but it never really did my feelings for you never left I tried to act like they did but they were always there just quieter sometimes and I think that’s what made it harder because I kept letting you back in like nothing ever happened but deep down I started feeling it this isn’t going anywhere no matter how much I care no matter how much I try no matter how much I hope it just isn’t and I’m tired I’m tired of feeling stuck tired of waiting tired of wondering what this is supposed to be because it never becomes anything and maybe you don’t mean to hurt me or maybe you do I don’t even know anymore but I know how it feels on my side it feels like I’m being kept around just enough not fully chosen not fully let go and that’s the hardest part because I can’t seem to walk away even when I know I should so I asked you to do it for me not because I don’t care but because I care too much I just wanted it to end quietly no fighting no explanations no back and forth just… gone because I think that would hurt less than staying in something that keeps hurting me slowly and now I’m here waiting and part of me hopes you don’t reply because I know myself if you come back even a little even normal even casual I might let you in again and I don’t want to keep doing this I don’t want to keep choosing something that doesn’t choose me so maybe silence is the answer maybe you walking away is the only way I’ll finally let go and I hate that but I think I’m starting to accept it that this isn’t going anywhere and maybe it never was.
0
Mar 29
Mar 29, 2026 at 1:59 PM UTC
Untitled
I think I’m finally starting to understand not everything has to turn into something even if I wanted it to I trusted you easily maybe too easily I always try to see the good in people even when it starts hurting me I forgave things I probably shouldn’t have I stayed longer than I should’ve and I kept hoping something would change but it never really did my feelings for you never left I tried to act like they did but they were always there just quieter sometimes and I think that’s what made it harder because I kept letting you back in like nothing ever happened but deep down I started feeling it this isn’t going anywhere no matter how much I care no matter how much I try no matter how much I hope it just isn’t and I’m tired I’m tired of feeling stuck tired of waiting tired of wondering what this is supposed to be because it never becomes anything and maybe you don’t mean to hurt me or maybe you do I don’t even know anymore but I know how it feels on my side it feels like I’m being kept around just enough not fully chosen not fully let go and that’s the hardest part because I can’t seem to walk away even when I know I should so I asked you to do it for me not because I don’t care but because I care too much I just wanted it to end quietly no fighting no explanations no back and forth just… gone because I think that would hurt less than staying in something that keeps hurting me slowly and now I’m here waiting and part of me hopes you don’t reply because I know myself if you come back even a little even normal even casual I might let you in again and I don’t want to keep doing this I don’t want to keep choosing something that doesn’t choose me so maybe silence is the answer maybe you walking away is the only way I’ll finally let go and I hate that but I think I’m starting to accept it that this isn’t going anywhere and maybe it never was.
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76
Tal vez algún día ya no duela. Tal vez algún día deje de pensarte. Pero hoy todavía estás en mi corazón.
0
Mar 14
Mar 14, 2026 at 10:21 PM UTC
Todava en mi Corazn
Soltarte no es fácil. Porque una parte de mí todavía tiene miedo de perderte para siempre.
0
Mar 14
Mar 14, 2026 at 10:15 PM UTC
Soltar
A veces te llamo con el número bloqueado, solo para escuchar tu voz unos segundos. Tu simple hola?… y tu respiración… Hay, como la extraño, más de lo que admito. Sé que no debería, por cómo están las cosas, pero no puedo evitarlo… Te extraño. Y no sé si tú también sientes lo mismo. Te preguntas si soy yo la que llama así, sin mostrar quién soy? Te pasa por la mente que tal vez, solo tal vez… soy yo buscándote sin decirlo?
0
Jul 27, 2025
Jul 27, 2025 at 11:42 PM UTC
Llamada
Te extraño, aun cuando sé que no debería. Quisiera correr a tus brazos, aunque sé que no me harías espacio. Quisiera abrazarte, oler tu olor único que aún vive en mi memoria, darte besos de cinco estrellas, como los que antes te regalaba sin pedir nada a cambio, solo que yo tocara tus labios. Quisiera responder tus mensajes, tus llamadas perdidas, solo para contarte cómo me siento, para decirte mi verdad, porque mi corazón no sabe mentir, porque aún quiere entender lo que tú nunca supiste explicar. Quisiera volver a tu burbuja, ver tu cara de cerca, perderme en tus ojos lindos como antes, como cuando aún creía que tú también me veías con los mismos ojos. Pero no puedo… porque sé que si regreso, no vas a entender. Sé que quizás ya me olvidaste, que quizás ni te importaría. Y lo sé porque me has dejado en visto tantas veces, cuando más necesitaba ser vista. Tu silencio me grita verdades. Cada vez que ignoraste mis sentimientos, me enseñaste que lo que yo sentía no valía mucho para ti. Y sí, sí quiero responderte. Sí quiero intentar, sí quiero que funcione. Pero ya lo he intentado. Más de una vez. Y todo sigue igual. Siempre soy yo la que siente más, la que cuida más. Y tú… tú das lo mínimo. Yo me preocupo por ti, por lo que piensas, por cómo estás. Pero tú no haces lo mismo por mí. Todo ha sido una historia a medias. Y yo ya no quiero seguir siendo invisible en algo que se supone que era para dos.
0
Jul 23, 2025
Jul 23, 2025 at 7:58 PM UTC
Invisible
I see his messages. I see him reaching out again. I’m tempted to fall back again. And I miss him. Even though I know I shouldn’t. But this time… It wasn’t hope. It was a reminder. A reminder that I need to let him go. We’re stuck in a limbo that never changes. He doesn’t care, not really. And I shouldn’t either… even if part of me still does. These feelings for him still linger Soft, stubborn, and cruel. But this distance… this silence… It’s not punishment. It’s healing. It’s how I free myself. No contact isn’t easy But it’s the only thing that will finally let me breathe again.
0
Jul 17, 2025
Jul 17, 2025 at 2:02 AM UTC
Limbo
El momento en que supe lo que sentía por ti, no fue ruidoso, no fue repentino, solo un gesto silencioso hacia los papelitos que dejaste atrás. Pequeños cuadros con tu letra apurada, dejados sobre el mostrador, pegados en monitores. Usa esto si se te olvida, dijiste, dimensiones anotadas para que yo recordara. Pequeños cuadros de guía silenciosa mientras yo aún aprendía el ritmo, aún con algo de nervios. Tus notas visibles, justo cuando más las necesitaba. No tenías que escribirlas, pero lo hiciste. Cada una fue un gesto pequeño que solo yo noté. De entre todas las personas, me elegiste a mí para ayudar, a tu manera callada. Pero para mí, fueron todo. Comencé a guardarlas como cartas de amor disfrazadas en tinta de oficina. Recordatorios de que alguna vez estuviste lo suficientemente cerca como para dejar huellas. Ya pasó un año. El trabajo cambió. Tú cambiaste. Yo cambié. Pero las notas… todavía están guardadas en mi caja de recuerdos. Esquinas suaves por el tiempo, la tinta desvaneciéndose, pero no el sentimiento. Tal vez las guardé porque una parte de mí todavía te guarda a ti. Incluso en tus gestos más pequeños, dejaste una marca. Y nunca he sido buena para soltar lo que alguna vez se sintió real.
0
Jul 14, 2025
Jul 14, 2025 at 12:46 PM UTC
Notas Guardadas
I kissed you when I shouldn’t have I cared when I knew it’d just hurt back I think of you more than I should Still hoping one day you’d be good I gave too many chances it’s true Each one hoping you’d come through But you deflect ignore and run Especially when I’m not just fun You go quiet when I get real You don’t respond to how I feel And I keep loving even still Even though it breaks my will You send a heart a hey a snap But where were you when I felt trapped When I sent that sad face you stayed cold Like my emotions just got old I’m always tempted to reply Give it one more shot just one more try But what’s the point you’ve shown your side You push me out when I confide What do I expect at this stage From someone who keeps acting the same If you could ignore me once you’ll do it again And I’ll be left picking up pain Different day same old game Same silence same unanswered name And yet my heart still feels the pull Still hopes you’ll change still feels full But deep down I know the truth I fear When someone shows you believe it clear If you wanted to you would’ve stayed We wouldn’t be here love wouldn’t fade Yes I miss you more than you know But I’ve had enough it’s time to let go I wanted forever but you only showed up when you were bored And that’s not love I can afford So this is goodbye not with hate but with grace I just need peace not this endless chase I still care but I care for me more You lost my heart I’m closing that door
0
Jul 13, 2025
Jul 13, 2025 at 10:11 PM UTC
Chances
I kissed you when I shouldn’t have I cared when I knew it’d just hurt back I think of you more than I should Still hoping one day you’d be good I gave too many chances it’s true Each one hoping you’d come through But you deflect ignore and run Especially when I’m not just fun You go quiet when I get real You don’t respond to how I feel And I keep loving even still Even though it breaks my will You send a heart a hey a snap But where were you when I felt trapped When I sent that sad face you stayed cold Like my emotions just got old I’m always tempted to reply Give it one more shot just one more try But what’s the point you’ve shown your side You push me out when I confide What do I expect at this stage From someone who keeps acting the same If you could ignore me once you’ll do it again And I’ll be left picking up pain Different day same old game Same silence same unanswered name And yet my heart still feels the pull Still hopes you’ll change still feels full But deep down I know the truth I fear When someone shows you believe it clear If you wanted to you would’ve stayed We wouldn’t be here love wouldn’t fade Yes I miss you more than you know But I’ve had enough it’s time to let go I wanted forever but you only showed up when you were bored And that’s not love I can afford So this is goodbye not with hate but with grace I just need peace not this endless chase I still care but I care for me more You lost my heart I’m closing that door
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41
I sent a sad face, he sent nothing. Eight hours of silence and a filtered selfie as if my feelings were too inconvenient to be acknowledged. He didn’t ask what was wrong. He never really did. He liked the softness, but never the substance. He liked being wanted, but never wanted to show up. Not when I was vulnerable, not when I was hurting, not when I needed more than a snap of his bed or a half laugh in my face. I gave chances in silence, forgiveness without apology. I held space where he gave absence. And still, I stayed. Until staying started to hurt more than the leaving ever could. So I didn’t block him. I didn’t scream. I didn’t write a final message. I just disappeared the way he always did when it was my turn to speak. Let him wonder why the snaps stopped. Let him feel the stillness he used to ignore. Let him stare at the pending and realize I’m not. Not waiting. Not hoping. Not folding back into someone who forgot how to hold me. I may not have closure, but I have clarity. And if silence is the only language he ever taught me, then let him hear it loud and clear.
0
Jul 10, 2025
Jul 10, 2025 at 6:52 AM UTC
Let Him Wonder
La palabra te extraño no es suficiente para expresar la falta que me haces todos los días.
0
Jul 2, 2025
Jul 2, 2025 at 11:46 AM UTC
8:46 AM