charmainesoraya - Hello Poetry

There is nothing better than growing up in two thousand and something where America, the beacon, the safe haven, is the place to be and technology promises prosperity Segregation is over and women can vote! Gay is okay and Al-Qaeda is gone! There is nothing better than growing up in two thousand and something, All the answers ever needed at the palm of your hand, Thanks to God’s greatest creation: the smartphone We’ve got sore necks and thumbs with validations from notifications But the light of a screen shines brighter than the sun There is nothing better than growing up in two thousand and something Where bored complaining teenagers are college criteria by day and adrenaline junkies by night And a healthy breakfast consists of coffee, adderall, and zoloft We give our babies an ipad before we give them a rattle Life moves faster and faster, with no time for silly simplicity There is nothing better than growing up in two thousand and something Where thoughts and prayers replace votes and bills, with opinions split by the change of a channel school shootings have become a generation racism is presidential, and misogyny is congressional with no gray area between red and blue abortions are the killers but rifles save lives! Alphabet people stay out of the army, Mexican rapists stay behind the wall women’s mouths stay clamped shut Our civil liberties are eroding & what do we do? we shrug **** There is nothing better than growing up in two thousand and something.

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Jun 20, 2021

Jun 20, 2021 at 9:23 PM UTC

Two Thousand and Something

There is nothing better than growing up in two thousand and something where America, the beacon, the safe haven, is the place to be and technology promises prosperity Segregation is over and women can vote! Gay is okay and Al-Qaeda is gone! There is nothing better than growing up in two thousand and something, All the answers ever needed at the palm of your hand, Thanks to God’s greatest creation: the smartphone We’ve got sore necks and thumbs with validations from notifications But the light of a screen shines brighter than the sun There is nothing better than growing up in two thousand and something Where bored complaining teenagers are college criteria by day and adrenaline junkies by night And a healthy breakfast consists of coffee, adderall, and zoloft We give our babies an ipad before we give them a rattle Life moves faster and faster, with no time for silly simplicity There is nothing better than growing up in two thousand and something Where thoughts and prayers replace votes and bills, with opinions split by the change of a channel school shootings have become a generation racism is presidential, and misogyny is congressional with no gray area between red and blue abortions are the killers but rifles save lives! Alphabet people stay out of the army, Mexican rapists stay behind the wall women’s mouths stay clamped shut Our civil liberties are eroding & what do we do? we shrug **** There is nothing better than growing up in two thousand and something.

29

each time you tell me I have anger issues I am six years old again in my car seat as you drive to "get ice cream" so you can swear about Mom & yell at me for playing with my window. I was naive enough to think that my middle-aged father was asking for marriage advice. Now I flip other drivers off in the same car you would lock me in I slam the keys of the piano I hid under when Mom threatened to leave I hate Mom as much as you do now if not more because she says I'm just like you so tell me I have anger issues, Dad I ******* dare you

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Jun 20, 2021

Jun 20, 2021 at 9:22 PM UTC

anger issues

each time you tell me I have anger issues I am six years old again in my car seat as you drive to "get ice cream" so you can swear about Mom & yell at me for playing with my window. I was naive enough to think that my middle-aged father was asking for marriage advice. Now I flip other drivers off in the same car you would lock me in I slam the keys of the piano I hid under when Mom threatened to leave I hate Mom as much as you do now if not more because she says I'm just like you so tell me I have anger issues, Dad I ******* dare you

16

O Curls my 3a-3b locks im sorry for the **** i put you through all the bleaching, heating, and treatments trying to make you something you're not for the times i tried to make you the standard thinking my uniqueness wasn't attractive enough i hurt you but you had been damaged long before the straightener when that boy in the desk behind you would pull your hair you pretended you didn't notice when those white folks touched it without your permission pointing & prodding like you were an alien when people lost pencils and coins and spitballs in your tangles for amusement only for you to find at your feet in the shower When you were told to be straightened to look “safer” and “more professional” when he screamed “shut the **** up medusa *** ***** naming you as a monster to silence the both of us the first time i singed you i was met with “you should do this more often! it looks so much better this way!” and in an instant the straightener became my drug a one time thing became the fix i needed for instant confidence finally i looked like i belonged like the girls at my school, on TV and in magazines I let myself believe that to love me, I had to erase you you are, in fact, what makes me people notice you before they notice me But that is because we work together, you and i to make this “mufasa roar” I’ll nurse you through the damage the world caused The damage I caused, Because my hair will not be quiet for anyone that asks Im sorry that it took this long But thank you for teaching me how to be unapologetic, unique, authentic Thank you for teaching me How to be me

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Jun 20, 2021

Jun 20, 2021 at 9:21 PM UTC

Apology to my Curls

O Curls my 3a-3b locks im sorry for the **** i put you through all the bleaching, heating, and treatments trying to make you something you're not for the times i tried to make you the standard thinking my uniqueness wasn't attractive enough i hurt you but you had been damaged long before the straightener when that boy in the desk behind you would pull your hair you pretended you didn't notice when those white folks touched it without your permission pointing & prodding like you were an alien when people lost pencils and coins and spitballs in your tangles for amusement only for you to find at your feet in the shower When you were told to be straightened to look “safer” and “more professional” when he screamed “shut the **** up medusa *** ***** naming you as a monster to silence the both of us the first time i singed you i was met with “you should do this more often! it looks so much better this way!” and in an instant the straightener became my drug a one time thing became the fix i needed for instant confidence finally i looked like i belonged like the girls at my school, on TV and in magazines I let myself believe that to love me, I had to erase you you are, in fact, what makes me people notice you before they notice me But that is because we work together, you and i to make this “mufasa roar” I’ll nurse you through the damage the world caused The damage I caused, Because my hair will not be quiet for anyone that asks Im sorry that it took this long But thank you for teaching me how to be unapologetic, unique, authentic Thank you for teaching me How to be me

38

In the hills I know the sounds of every bird, every deer, every squirrel I know every twist and turn, I could drive with my eyes closed. I know which way the wind whistles and how the sun feels on my back I know the smell of pine sap and flowers you can’t find anywhere else As the summer air approaches in my garden, my hands in the soil I ask myself the question I’ve feared as I’m about to go Yes, life is ahead of me, There’s no turning back now But how could I ever leave the home I’ve grown to live, to love, to know.

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Jun 20, 2021

Jun 20, 2021 at 9:16 PM UTC

What I Know

In the hills I know the sounds of every bird, every deer, every squirrel I know every twist and turn, I could drive with my eyes closed. I know which way the wind whistles and how the sun feels on my back I know the smell of pine sap and flowers you can’t find anywhere else As the summer air approaches in my garden, my hands in the soil I ask myself the question I’ve feared as I’m about to go Yes, life is ahead of me, There’s no turning back now But how could I ever leave the home I’ve grown to live, to love, to know.

16

I was never fond of the Tango, the dance that was never through. But even so, I tangoed, I tangoed with you. Passion fuels our every step red hot anger, crimson lust. Everything in between is scattered in our dust. I wish you'd give me a signal for I am sick of all the lies. What are you trying to tell me with your tired, angry eyes? I can't see clearly when I look at you, my vision's blurred from all the tears, But as we dance this tango, I forget the pain from all the years. I was never fond of the Tango, the dance that was never through. But it takes two to tango so I’ll tango with you.

0

Oct 20, 2017

Oct 20, 2017 at 12:58 AM UTC

The Tango

I was never fond of the Tango, the dance that was never through. But even so, I tangoed, I tangoed with you. Passion fuels our every step red hot anger, crimson lust. Everything in between is scattered in our dust. I wish you'd give me a signal for I am sick of all the lies. What are you trying to tell me with your tired, angry eyes? I can't see clearly when I look at you, my vision's blurred from all the tears, But as we dance this tango, I forget the pain from all the years. I was never fond of the Tango, the dance that was never through. But it takes two to tango so I’ll tango with you.

20

If only I could feel no pain. If only I couldn’t recognize the dark alleys of anxiety, the hollow trenches of grief and sadness, weighed down by the anchor of guilt, devoured by the pouncing tiger of anger. A path that was once so clear to me, is now engulfed in fog. Every step I take, I tread with caution, for one false move and I hit the ground. With every tick, the clock gets louder, echoing in my brain. Tick. Tick. Tick. The sand in my timer is running out. With every beat, blood pumps in my body, echoing in my veins, Thump. Thump. Thump. I am a heart waiting to flatline. But if only I could feel no pain! I would never again have to repair the broken-down walls of the city that is my soul, just to let the tsunami of pain tear them down again. I would never endure another sleepless night, my head resting on a drenched pillow. I would never spend another minute submerged, the riptide pulling me under. My heart would never be broken if nothing could break it. I would never feel like nothing if I felt nothing at all. But the truth is, If you take away your thirst, you’ll never know your need for water. These emotions remind us what it is to be happy. If you feel nothing, you have nothing have no pain, have no pleasure Forget what it’s like to cry, forget what it means to laugh Take all of it away, and what are you? numb. Frostbite from head to toe. Painkillers, ice packs, and anesthetics all at once, silencing the nerves, silencing the heart.

0

Jul 21, 2017

Jul 21, 2017 at 6:08 PM UTC

Numb

If only I could feel no pain. If only I couldn’t recognize the dark alleys of anxiety, the hollow trenches of grief and sadness, weighed down by the anchor of guilt, devoured by the pouncing tiger of anger. A path that was once so clear to me, is now engulfed in fog. Every step I take, I tread with caution, for one false move and I hit the ground. With every tick, the clock gets louder, echoing in my brain. Tick. Tick. Tick. The sand in my timer is running out. With every beat, blood pumps in my body, echoing in my veins, Thump. Thump. Thump. I am a heart waiting to flatline. But if only I could feel no pain! I would never again have to repair the broken-down walls of the city that is my soul, just to let the tsunami of pain tear them down again. I would never endure another sleepless night, my head resting on a drenched pillow. I would never spend another minute submerged, the riptide pulling me under. My heart would never be broken if nothing could break it. I would never feel like nothing if I felt nothing at all. But the truth is, If you take away your thirst, you’ll never know your need for water. These emotions remind us what it is to be happy. If you feel nothing, you have nothing have no pain, have no pleasure Forget what it’s like to cry, forget what it means to laugh Take all of it away, and what are you? numb. Frostbite from head to toe. Painkillers, ice packs, and anesthetics all at once, silencing the nerves, silencing the heart.

49