Adore.
Thats the only word I can think of.
It's so funny how she helps me breathe,
Yet she is the reason my chest hurts.
So tell me, how does it feel to be
Adored by her? Do you smile when you
Wake up? You should, I would.
Does it feel like your blood is air,
And you could just float away
If someone blew?
I'll tell you how it feels to watch
Her adore you...it feels like my blood
Is empty. But not like air.
Just hollow, so hollow I could sink
Into the earth and never be seen again.
It hurts to breathe.
I want to say its not fair, but she is so
Happy. So who am I to object?
I guess I'll never know how it feels
To be adored by her.
Jun 23, 2017
Jun 23, 2017 at 5:00 PM UTC
Don't you ever eat?
Of course I do!
Lies.
The hunger swirls in my stomach like pride.
I am strong. I am in control. I will be skinny.
But this isn't any ordinary wish,
A little voice in my head is telling me that
My bones should be my entirety.
Thinner thighs, arms, stomach. I will fade
Away till I am made of air; even then
It won't be satisfied.
But now I'm in too deep. I think I'm in
Control but I've lost it, and now I fear my mind
Is fading too.
Don't help me. Please.
Some people where born to disappear.
Nov 30, 2016
Nov 30, 2016 at 2:06 PM UTC
There are monsters in my head,
I'm afraid they want me dead.
They scream and whisper in my ears,
filling my mind with unusual fears.
I feel everyone's eyes in my back,
I am no longer safe, I fear an attack.
They're poisoning you with their food.
Can't you see you're being used
Stop it! Leave me! I thrash about,
I would give my life just to have them out.
Just give in to us, then you'll see
No, you'll never get the best of me.
Aug 10, 2016
Aug 10, 2016 at 5:00 PM UTC
Quiet, quiet.
Its following me around
Quiet, quiet.
Please god don’t make a sound.
Hush, hush.
Soon it will be here.
Shh,shh.
Now its getting near.
It lurks on every corner,
in every nook and crack.
In everything dingy,dark and dreary,
right behind my back.
It sits upon my shoulder
and whispers in my ear
then I finally realize,
it’s a figment of my fear.
But still I see it in the alleyways,
the darkened, lamp-less street,
in my bed at night time,
hidden beneath the sheets.
I feel it in the back of my mind
the place where no one goes.
I pray that it doesn’t find you too
or it will take control.
Jan 11, 2016
Jan 11, 2016 at 9:43 AM UTC
Lets play pretend
for one more night.
Lets not say goodbye
till it gets light.
Lets repeat all
our past mistakes.
Lets wait for
our hearts to break.
I do not love you
but it doesn't really matter.
I do not care so
both our hearts could shatter.
You perform your role
living our disgrace.
You fulfil your part
in your empty embrace.
Lets play pretend
for one last time.
Without reason
our lies are sublime.
Lets stay together
till darkness will rise
Lets be murderers
and become what we despise.
Sep 25, 2015
Sep 25, 2015 at 4:29 PM UTC
There are few people I care about
more than I do myself
and your on your way to becoming one
so you better cry for help
Aug 31, 2015
Aug 31, 2015 at 5:47 PM UTC
They can't tell what's wrong with you from the outside. They can't tell what's wrong with you from the outside. They can't tell what's wrong with you.
Is my illness truly invisible?
Or am I just deluding myself again?
My thoughts are racing, falling, tumbling,
maybe their right to call me insane.
Don't ask me to speak because I don't want to;
words don't mean a thing any more
Instead I write and write onto sheets of white
into the abyss my heart is poured.
I hear their screams in my head all the time
a pleading in my ear,
I'm the one who's living this hell
so why is it me you fear?
I carry on breathing everyday
despite the creatures living inside
and I will keep living in every way
until one day I don't even cry.
Aug 31, 2015
Aug 31, 2015 at 4:01 PM UTC
I miss the snow when the sun is out
I miss your touch when your not about
I miss the stars when city lights are too bright
I miss the city when the country is at night
I miss the leaves when they fall to the ground
I miss the silence when there's to much sound
Its hard to live life and be happy
when your never satisfied
Aug 11, 2015
Aug 11, 2015 at 4:52 PM UTC
Your worn out t shirt lies on my floor
It has that smell that I adore
My lipstick stains around its neck
Remind me of my worst regrets
Like how I let you walk out my life
Without putting up a decent fight
Watched you leave, closed my eyes and wept
Now I've just a shirt that I've kept
There's a traffic jam inside my head
Thinking of words I should have said
Now I cant forgive and I can't forget
And I'm living my life in deep, deep debt
Aug 11, 2015
Aug 11, 2015 at 4:33 PM UTC
A laptop light, a half eaten cereal bar, and a major suicidal tendency.
I haven’t left my room in three days.
The demons in my mind have escaped my body
and barricaded shut my doors and my heart.
I sit here staring at creatures that do not exist
crawling up my walls and laughing in the shadows.
The only sound is of sombre songs playing on
repeat, attempting to **** my sadness with tears,
and the scribbling and tearing and screaming of
pages as I scratch my soul onto them
covering my arms in blood and ink and tears
praying that eventually I will succeed,
and my pain will finally assent from my body
onto paper, and lay there eternally in long thin letters
that I can ****** into the void for all the other souls
begging for help at 3 in the morning to hear, and I will
finally be free, to sleep.
Jul 31, 2015
Jul 31, 2015 at 4:52 PM UTC