I never believed in love at first sight
Because I had never had
The privilege
To meet someone
Like you.
It’s difficult to try to voice
The way that you make me feel,
But I guess
It’s somewhere between
Laughing until my face is numb
And
Snuggling on a winter morning.
What I’m trying to say
Is that you are amazing
Because you have undone the knots
Filled in the blanks
Put together the puzzle
And completed the person that I am today.
I love you more
With each breath I take.
Jun 23, 2015
Jun 23, 2015 at 3:02 PM UTC
A sky of stars and galaxies
Reflects itself in my mind,
And for a moment,
I wish that I could capture
That view through a man made lens
So I could share it with you.
That's what missing you feels like--
Like there is so much in my head
But no way to show it.
No way to send you a virtual kiss,
Or take a picture to tell you
What I am thinking.
My surroundings are vast and I am small,
But let me tell you this:
You are somewhere between
A mortal and a miracle,
And I find you in the stars
Because you don't belong
Among the humans.
That's the way I look at you--
My own personal Galaxy
That wraps me up
In a warm blanket of stars.
We may be apart,
But my heart lies wherever you are.
Oct 20, 2014
Oct 20, 2014 at 1:15 AM UTC
I wonder what you’re
Looking at
When you’re
Looking at
Me.
Because when I look at you,
I look at the world in one person,
Spinning around
Rotating in my mind
As if nothing else matters.
When I look at you,
I see nervous hands
And anxious smiles
From our awkward first date,
A quiet boy with not
A whole lot to say
Yet.
I look at confidence,
Yours and mine,
Because you tell me
I am beautiful
Each and every day.
I look at a smile
Forming on your lips,
Subconsciously,
Resting on your
Strong jawline.
I look at eyes…
Ocean blue
That I drown in for hours,
The kind of drowning
That I don’t want
To be
Saved from.
Ocean eyes
Rocking me slowly
To sleep.
I look at cuddling,
Late at night,
(Because you always fall asleep first)
And the way you grind your teeth
While you sleep.
I look at hands,
Rough and calloused,
Holding mine tight.
Rubbing thumbs
Absentmindedly.
And you have no idea
How wonderful
That feels.
I look at kisses…
The kind that make
My
Heart
Stop
Beating
Momentarily,
Because you take my breath away.
I look at laughter,
Full and goofy,
Throwing your head back
And squirming around
While I tickle your sides,
And you tickle my heart.
I look at comfort.
The kind that’s hard to find,
Because you always know
When something is wrong,
Sometimes before I do.
You hold me tight in your arms,
And everything
Will be
Okay.
I look at the future
Because this time,
I know it’s real,
And I know
You
Are the one that is
Meant to walk this
Journey alongside
Me.
And now,
I wonder what you’re
Looking at
When you’re
Looking at
Me.
Sep 1, 2014
Sep 1, 2014 at 12:06 PM UTC
Three words
Two hearts
One scared girl.
Afraid to fall
Afraid to let go
Afraid to love.
One boy
Who makes it easy...
I'm learning to love again.
Because each time you look at me,
I fall a little more...
Because each time you kiss me,
I fall a little more...
Because each time you hold me,
I fall a little more...
And I think this is it,
I've fallen for the boy
With the deep blue eyes
And the deeper soul.
The one who takes my heart
By taking my hand,
And gives me the kind of butterflies
That don't go away.
The one who replaced a doubtful heart
With love
Love
Love...
But how is it possible,
How can I feel this way
After 3 short weeks?
Is it the way you hold me close
While you are fast asleep,
Clinging to me,
Like you think I would leave you?
Or the way your heart beats fast
Whenever I am near you,
Making my chest rise and fall
Quickly just like yours?
Do I feel this way
Because I have to catch my breath,
Whenever you look in my eyes?
Your eyes.
That's it.
They are where I see it,
And I know in my heart
That you feel the same.
So maybe I have the courage to say it,
Because it is the truth,
I love you.
Jul 30, 2014
Jul 30, 2014 at 2:58 PM UTC
I never knew honesty
Until the strands in your eyes
Held my pupils like a promise,
Shades of blue I didn't know existed
Wrapping me in trust and hope.
Light blue, telling me you're real,
That I can trust you,
That your intentions are pure,
You're carefree,
Independent.
Dark blue,
Telling me there is a deeper story,
Secrets I haven't uncovered
But will, with time.
You've been hurt,
But you are so strong because of it.
Soft blue,
Telling me you are here for me,
And I'm the only one.
Though you haven't spoken it yet,
These eyes tell me you love me,
And make my heart melt for you.
Burning blue,
Intense and hungry,
When your lips intertwine with mine,
Your arms hold me tight,
I feel your need
You feel mine.
Sky blue,
When you are happy,
Smiling and laughing,
Joking around
When we make fun of each other.
Your eyes are the windows to you,
Your heart, your mind, your soul,
And I feel honored knowing
That I am the one who gets to see them.
Jul 30, 2014
Jul 30, 2014 at 2:57 PM UTC
I have never quite understood it,
But every now and then,
A smile that is very rare appears on your face.
I doubt you even realize it.
It creeps out when you sing in the car.
When you are proud.
When you hold a volleyball in your fingertips.
When you look at the mountains.
And I wish there was a way for me to capture that.
You don't know the pride I have in you,
My little sister,
When you grin like the world
Does not control your mouth.
I want you to know you can smile.
You have every right.
Let your eyes be the sunshine,
Let your lips paint the canvas
In shades of yellow, pink, and orange.
Stretch your arms out wide so you can
Welcome each soul with kindness,
Because I know that's who you are.
I know this because I am her, too,
The girl with stars in her eyes
And her heart on her sleeve.
And let me tell you,
There is not a better place to wear it,
Because the pain that comes with it
Is so worth the beauty that follows.
Because the people that break your heart
Will always be followed by the ones
That have been picking up the pieces
So they could return them to you.
All of me wishes you knew your inner beauty.
Of course you are gorgeous outside, as well,
But dig deep,
Shovel down in to your soul until you see the gem.
And I cannot believe you do not already,
Because you shine so brightly
That even the moon pales in comparison.
Karena, you are compassionate.
You feel things that people overpass;
You are the definition of a "friend."
Forgive, forgive, forgive...
Because you do not have time to hate.
Holding grudges is not your style;
And although I do not always think it's wise,
I admire you very much for that.
You see the good in others.
Thank you
For seeing the good in me.
Remember, forever and always,
That I love you.
I'm always your biggest fan.
We've been through it all together,
And that will never change.
Don't lose the spark in your eyes,
Or the warmth in your heart.
Keep being spunky and opinionated.
You are a fire, a ball of life,
And isn't it wonderful
That while some merely
Exist,
You are truly
Alive.
And please--
Never
Stop
Smiling.
Apr 4, 2014
Apr 4, 2014 at 3:00 PM UTC
February,
It’s been a year.
I wait, but why,
You’re still not here.
I knew you once,
But never again,
So please, take me back
To the way things were then.
February,
Seasons change.
Things are different,
We rearrange.
You’re not the same now
As I believed you to be,
Please, become yourself again,
Because you’re getting hard to see…
February,
You’re so cold.
My heart is frozen
Without you to hold.
I remember the way
Your lips felt against mine,
The day that you asked me
To be your valentine…
February,
Where have you run?
It seems it was over
Before it ever begun…
You’ve been out of sight,
And I’ve been out of mind.
I guess you’re too lost
For me to ever find.
February,
Sorry can’t repair,
The damage that is done here
The scratches, cuts, and tears.
As much as I want to,
I can’t apologize,
For things that have happened,
You’re the one who told the lies.
February
I guess that’s it, then,
No matter what I say,
You won’t come back again.
I guess our worlds
Lie too far apart,
But know that you are always
A piece of my February Heart.
Feb 24, 2014
Feb 24, 2014 at 1:11 AM UTC
Looking back after all these years,
It’s hard to believe that my best friend is a memory…
Letting you walk out of my life without trying to stop you,
It makes me want to try to reverse time…
Because I know I am much different now,
And I believe you would be proud of the person I have become.
Prayer is the only way I communicate with you now,
Hoping that you are loving life as much as you always did.
Reconnected with the Lord, and for the first time, myself,
I would love nothing more than to mend any wounds I left,
Patch them up with bandages and apologies.
I want you to know I’m sorry.
There are so many things I shouldn’t have done…
I don’t need to list them because you know,
And I don’t want to relive those memories…
Because I hate myself for all of them.
How could I?
That person from two years ago, now,
She was not me…
Just know, you’ve helped me grow,
Because I now tell nothing but the truth.
I was exhausted of swimming in my own lies,
Trying to keep up with them was like running a race…
But I could never finish fast enough.
And, like you advised,
I stopped moving from boy to boy.
Alone now, for quite some time,
Because I like the way that freedom tastes
And focusing on myself has matured me.
I live life with no regrets,
But if I did have one,
It is putting you through all the ********
It hurts now, knowing I am far too late to fix this.
I live with nothing but a forgiving heart,
But I would not blame you if you couldn’t forgive me.
Too much damage was done by a past me,
But just know, I apologize for each word and action.
I wish I could rebuild the walls I crushed, but instead,
Here I am, knowing I let my best friend slip away…
Nov 8, 2013
Nov 8, 2013 at 12:03 AM UTC
Only a year ago, we were all just kids thinking we held forever at our fingertips.
Invincibility was upon us as we stepped on campus for the first time as students,
Beginning our journeys into the unknown realm of college.
Everything was new and exciting;
Classes, food, activities, clubs, schedules, people…
Remember how we didn’t want to go home?
The best place in the world to be, at the time, seemed like it was right there.
If we left for a second, we would miss the whole planet,
Be left out of the loop for an entire week.
High school seemed too close and too far,
And we were stuck in this limbo where we were not sure how to act.
Running around like tweens out past their curfew,
The upperclassmen were so cool, and calm, and collected…
We aspired to be like them one day,
Copying the way they blended into this campus with so many colors.
And slowly but surely, we have…
Without even realizing it, we have matured worlds, and
Realization has dropped itself into our hands where pixie dust sat before.
Isn’t it funny, now, watching the new group of freshmen repeat the cycle?
Looking back, I thought life was so easy.
The only cares I had in the world were attending class and finishing homework.
Making friends appeared to be simple; keeping them did, as well.
Things seemed to fall into place as if they knew where to be dropped.
Now, we make things happen for ourselves rather than sitting back and watching.
Instead of running aimlessly, we stride with a purpose.
For we know our niches and where we are needed most.
Our eyes sparkle even brighter, I believe,
Because we have found a place where we belong and want to be.
I am waiting now, looking at this group of new kids,
And wondering how long it will be before the change happens to them.
How long will it take for them to realize that home is not such a bad place to be?
As a matter of fact, as I sit here in the room I grew up in,
I feel nothing but nostalgia that makes me want to be nowhere but here.
Here, I have no worries, and I can reflect on this past year and how much I have grown.
Growth. Isn’t that something that we forget about?
Assessing how far we have come over the past twelve or so months?
Because I now see with open eyes, where before, I merely just looked.
Oct 20, 2013
Oct 20, 2013 at 2:26 AM UTC
Walk into the auditorium just to see the band on stage…
I swallow my spit,
my nerves,
and my pride.
Oh, you are talented, dear,
Because I sit between two of my best friends, and yet,
I feel completely alone in this room full of people.
Because the only things I see are brown hair and a gray shirt.
Because all I am aware of is your goofy grin and saxophone, and
The way your lips part when you laugh still makes my heart shiver.
I’m begging just to see your face once.
To be reminded of the way that lights make your eyes
Look different every time,
Picking out the specks of blue, green, and gray
As if your irises were a kaleidoscope…
My mind suddenly feels perceptive of every emotion,
And from across the stage and stadium seats,
I feel your eyes avoiding mine,
But I cannot break this cold stare of heartbreak
And the needles that caress my spine.
Although my brain is unwelcoming,
Memories are flooding my head…
Reminding me that once, you held me close,
Telling me things I shouldn’t have believed,
Holding my hand
Telling me I’m not damaged
Inviting me into your world
Reassuring me it was okay
And yanking it all out from under me.
And everyone stands for the convocation,
I’m thanking the stars for this opportunity,
Because right now it’s socially acceptable.
It’s okay that I stare at you and let my heart beat fast,
Because you are on stage,
And I’m just one in the crowd.
But I always was, wasn’t I?
Just another one in the crowd?
Another float in your parade of heartbreaks.
It’s okay, my heart is mended,
Please, just look my direction…
My mind is not sure of anything,
But everything else is,
Because we finally just made
Eye contact.
Sep 3, 2013
Sep 3, 2013 at 2:48 PM UTC