I cant count the times that I've looked at you,
And tried to explain,
That I'm so tired of being cold, like my skin isn't awake.
Its been holding me down,
Its been counting the days.
But no matter what I do,
It can never get to you,
It always comes out wrong.
And it always gets you down.
So for now I'll just try to stay awake.
But its not your fault, you'll never understand this pain.
The one that eats at my soul,
As it takes me away.
I've been putting off this day for years since I've been born,
But I don't know what to do,
I cant breathe anymore.
I hope this finds you well,
All I can do is sleep.
This was never my intention,
I never wanted you to weep.
So don't stare at me while I slowly fade away,
Don't try to bring me back.
Don't waste another day.
Mar 16, 2014
Mar 16, 2014 at 5:30 PM UTC
All I have is this rosary.
The one I laid into your hands while you called for the Lord,
The one that sat in your hands when He came.
There was no light.
My angel wasn't there.
Only manicured nails and your pink lipstick.
No words could describe the feeling,
Only pianos, and a violin.
The soft loss I feel when the sun rises,
Knowing you wont see it, and tell me to close the blinds.
So I leave them open, hoping to hear you complain.
Hoping to hear my angel.
Jan 28, 2014
Jan 28, 2014 at 8:34 PM UTC
When you skip town
I promise not to make a sound,
I'll just light the way, and watch you sleep.
I'll keep the darkness from your eyes and the rage from your soul.
So call me when you're home.
And I'll light the way, so you can watch me sleep,
And we'll chase this darkness like we do.
But I don't know how long to wait.
So call me when you're home.
And tell me when you are you.
Oct 7, 2013
Oct 7, 2013 at 2:30 AM UTC
When you feel your own skin,
And murmurer your name.
Do you feel lost?
Like you're new, and you've never hurt?
Or do you remember your wife,
And children.
The feel of their skin and names on your lips;
The storms in their eyes.
The promises you've never kept.
Did you feel the rain on your back, while the storms raged on?
While 100 women took our places, and kept you warm.
While we shivered without a roof.
Jul 27, 2013
Jul 27, 2013 at 1:04 AM UTC
I try to tell you,
It is always brighter in the morning.
But you swear you're broken.
And it is never better,
Even when it is brighter.
So why do I bother?
Jul 19, 2013
Jul 19, 2013 at 1:03 AM UTC
You injected my trust, the same as your ******
You drank my pride as whiskey.
You're not worth my tears,
Or time.
So don't stop and look back,
Don't pretend I was ever your addiction.
Your cheap drugs and **** excuses are all you need;
Don't stop and pretend your drugs would hide your faults,
Or protect you from mine.
You're not worth my love,
Or forgiveness.
May 23, 2013
May 23, 2013 at 9:17 PM UTC
You injected my trust, the same as your ******
You drank my pride as whiskey.
You're not worth my tears,
Or time.
So don't stop and look back,
Don't pretend I was ever your addiction.
Your cheap drugs and **** excuses are all you need;
Don't stop and pretend your drugs would hide your faults,
Or protect you from mine.
You're not worth my love,
Or forgiveness.
May 23, 2013
May 23, 2013 at 9:17 PM UTC
I watched her wither away,
Her feet swollen and her hair a cloud.
Her skin draping around her fragile body like a shawl.
But her eyes always stayed the same,
Full of content.
Behind the thickening glass.
I watched them ease her into a walker,
And into a home.
They handed her the pills,
Handfuls of life.
Though pill by pill it seemed to escape her.
I watched her while she cried,
She cried for death.
And for her other half.
Her will to survive slowly diminishing.
I watched her as she kissed my cheeks,
And told me she loved me.
She filled with life and happiness.
Her eyes were suddenly hers,
Content
Feb 17, 2013
Feb 17, 2013 at 10:35 PM UTC
Maybe we all have a story to tell.
Of a ruined love affair.
The powder on your Dad's hands.
Your Mother's luke-warm beer and smile.
And please don't bother to tell me.
I'll just nod my head.
So believe in what you can't see,
And don't cry to me.
When the bottle sits in your hands
And the company is caked in coke.
And you can't wish it away,
Or blame them.
The pattern on the cigarette burned rug is fading fast,
As are your excuses.
And I'm just shaking my head.
Feb 17, 2013
Feb 17, 2013 at 5:48 PM UTC
I can't help but wonder,
If I said yes that night, and we went to the movies.
If I allowed myself to fall hopelessly in love with you.
As I always intended to do, though time didn't allow it.
Would I be bearing the camo scarf?
The one proving your death,
Ironically wrapped around your mothers and sisters necks?
Or would this situation be completely altered?
Rather than feeling the cold pew beneath me.
Would I feel the carpet beneath my heeled feet?
Replacing tears of sorrow flowing down my cheeks with the tears of passion.
If I allowed your palm to be placed into mine for longer than the haunted house lasted,
Would time have changed?
Would you be kissing my fingers rather than watching me peck away at this board?
If only I knew:
I wouldn't have the chance to tell you how much you meant.
I would be broken by this death.
I would never kiss your cheek again.
If only I knew how much I would miss you.
But instead, I sat in the back of the church.
Silently starving for your infectious smile.
Praying I believed in God, so one day I could see you.
Wanting to scream the one thing you loved to say,
More than the Lords Prayer.
"You are the best, Be happy because I hate when you are sad; I love you."
Jan 23, 2013
Jan 23, 2013 at 4:57 PM UTC