It’s sad when you can feel the end
looming nearby
You can hear it in the inflections
and the more frequent silences
You can see it in the empty eyes
that were once filled with love
Stuck in that place between
actually being in love
and just being convienient
Feb 23, 2018
Feb 23, 2018 at 2:33 PM UTC
The secrets I hide
cling to my insides
clawing their way out
to the bottomless pit
The lies the lies
they sink sink sink
spilling onto the canvass
just outside the door
Running does no good in a dream
the darkness always nipping
at your seams
Fluttering eyes R.E.M
r...e..m
You know that your sleeping
dreaming convulsing
Splattering onto the tiara
I wore as a child
The disappointment that hangs
in the air is all but mild
Swirls of orange around
bubbles of glass
Two yellow lines
DO NOT PASS
Not good enough, not good enough
Not good enough for who??
I’m good enough, I’m good enough
Just never for you.
Feb 23, 2018
Feb 23, 2018 at 2:29 PM UTC
Is the possibility of happiness
worth the possible pain?
How much time do I spend before it
counts as in vein?
I think things are getting better
but then comes the rain.
Are you worth the wait?
Or when you know do you know?
Does not knowing mean it’s wrong?
We’re together but I’m still alone.
Feb 23, 2018
Feb 23, 2018 at 2:19 PM UTC
The pain, the scars, the memories
they weigh so much
You run and you run but
the load never lifts
You laugh and dream and think
of other things but only for so long..
They are always watching and waiting
in those moments of silence
in those moments of sorrow and doubt
They spring and coil like a snake
And pull you back to the beginning..
Back to the darkness.
Looking for help in the wrong places
so many different faces
It’s too heavy to carry alone
but too much to share
Just bottle it up and hide it in there
Pretend to be happy
but never feel normal.
Feb 23, 2018
Feb 23, 2018 at 2:08 PM UTC
To the average you, from the average me
There is nothing going on, as far as any average eye can see.
But if you look a bit deeper,
past the flesh and bone
You’ll see that my heart beats even faster
if you call me on the telephone.
If you look at my in the hall,
my soul seems to die, my heart jumps
out of my chest
and it makes me want to cry
If you held my hand
My muscles would get tighter
My heart would skip several beats
and the shine would shine even brighter
If you were to kiss my lips
my body would die inside
my heart would stop
my knees give way
and as I lay on the ground
you’d push the hair from my face
and I love you is all you’d say
But these are all what if’s, could been’s
or never wills
Because only in a dream
do you feel the way I do
Only in a dream do you say
I love you.
Feb 23, 2018
Feb 23, 2018 at 1:55 PM UTC
I saw you this morning
in the shadow of a cloud
You couldn't hear a word I said
even though I was screaming so loud
The end is coming
the end is near
but the pounding of your heart beat
is all you could hear
I ran to your side
and whispered in your ear
I love you, I love you, I love you my dear!
Please listen to me, please open your eyes,
Please give me the key, please undo these ties
I shake you and shake you,
why wont you wake?
Please wake up now,
Don't make me wait
The tears are streaming down my cheeks
and there is no hand to wipe them away
no soft soothing voice,
no warmth from your body
No lovely face to distract me from my pain
No one to love me.
No love at all.
Nov 24, 2015
Nov 24, 2015 at 12:01 AM UTC
I don't like feeling lost
For so long I felt like I was found,
Because I found you..
Now your love waivers and breaks me a little more each day
I felt so strong with you, everyday I could handle
With you by my side I could conquer the world,
my worst fears, the numbness I feel
But I feel you slipping like sand between my fingers
but the harder I squeeze the faster you fall away
The weight of me and my responsibilities
is too much for you to help carry,
but I can help carry yours too!
I can be there for you as you are there for me at the same time,
we can fall together, forever and meld into one.
But you won't listen, you are too stubborn.
I am not exactly what you are looking for
but that's what you are to me..
please don't leave.
May 13, 2015
May 13, 2015 at 9:41 AM UTC
Stuck in my head all day,
thinking about things I already thought.
Forgetting that life is about more than just what we feel,
because what if what I feel isn't even real?
This world is built on perception
but when you only see one side, there's no real connection.
I wish I could stop worrying about what happened before
and what happens next and instead experience now,
it shouldn't be so complex.
Just live in the moment and not feel so numb.
Stop ignoring all my problems
and waiting for them to be done.
The world around me is blurry as I zone in and out
and I go to that place in my head
I never tell anyone about.
I can't seem to wake up,
it's like I'm waiting for some kind of salvation
but the only real salvation
is complete realization.
Of how I haven't lived in every moment
even though I know time slowly ticks,
inching closer to the last.
But I still waste my time letting my life go on past.
May 12, 2015
May 12, 2015 at 12:27 AM UTC