i've walked the appalachian train
and swam in the great atlantic sea
i've climbed mountains
and the stairs of lighthouses
i've seen concerts
and choirs
and musicals
and plays
i've mastered
the streets
of the big apple
i've been to disney world
in florida
santa's villiage
in new hampshire
i've been down the shore
i've gone down south
i've seen more
civil war monuments
than i ever knew existed
and way too many cities
but
of the things that i've seen
and the things that i've not
the sight of you
still takes my breath away
the thought of you
still causes my heart
to skip a beat
Jul 30, 2016
Jul 30, 2016 at 3:42 PM UTC
there's a place
i know
it's on top of
a hill
there's a tower
and a field
and a view
to die for
whenever i am
sad
or lonely
or upset
in any way
the tower
the view
the field
all comfort me
relax me
remind me
how to breathe
i come to my
special place
and look out at my
favorite view
and i can see
everything
and nothing
all at once
i see everything
i can see
the entire
valley
i see nothing
because
a valley
is all i see
this valley
is full of
thousands of people
and lives that
i don't really
want to know
i get bored
so bored of
meeting the same
people and seeing
the same things
i come to the Tower
and as i look out
at the view
the farthest thing
i can see is
the mountains
on every side of me
everywhere i turn
there they are:
the mountains
trapping me
keeping me here
in this place
holding me captive
in this valley
but not for long
someday
i will be
free
i will travel
the world
and see more
than the mountains
i will climb them
tear them down
and overcome
all of my fears
someday
i will leave
this valley
and my special place
will be nothing more
than a memory
a reminder of
who i used to be
Jul 30, 2016
Jul 30, 2016 at 3:37 PM UTC
the smell
of a camp fire
the sound
of a screen door
slamming shut
the agony
of spending 8 hours
in a car
with my brothers
the cabins
the lodge
the boats
the lake
vanilla swirl
running around the camp
pretending to be Harry Potter
making up spells
fighting dragons
going on the greatest of adventures
and just
being a kid
being in a place
where your imagination
could run wild
the only place
i could ever be
myself
the only place
i ever felt
freedom
May 10, 2016
May 10, 2016 at 6:01 PM UTC
it was the summer
of new beginnings
and young love.
it was a game
created by the mind
of a boy
trapped in the body
of a man
we flew from tree
to tree
barely stopping
to catch a single breath.
we were soaked
to the bone
a mile away
from the car
we didn't have a care in the world.
you were my everything
you were the one that got away
now
every time it rains
i think of the park
and the game
and the boy who told me to
Run.
May 10, 2016
May 10, 2016 at 5:59 PM UTC
I still remember the day we met
like it was yesterday
I remember it so vividly.
It was the perfect story.
I loved telling it.
It was different enough
to keep peoples' attention.
It was the perfect beginning
to what I thought
was going to be
the perfect story.
I can still recall the way you stood
in the doorway of my small dorm room.
You're body screamed confidence
intimidation
and you acted like you owned the place.
But your voice was gentle
curious
and you welcomed me into your life.
Without a second thought
I fell for your charms
and into a story
that I thought was going to be
perfect.
I learned quickly
that no story is perfect.
All stories must have
conflict.
I just wish
our conflict
would have had a much
happier resolution.
And I wish
more than anything
that our story
wouldn't have ended so soon.
Life is unfair some times
in that way.
Happiness is dangled in front of you,
just barely
out of reach.
It takes more than you'd think
to reach it.
But
it's not impossible.
Reaching
happiness
isn't
impossible.
But the way
you get there
isn't going to be
the perfect story.
May 10, 2016
May 10, 2016 at 5:57 PM UTC
have you ever wanted to be
no where?
you don't want to be
here
you don't want to go
there
you don't want to be
out
but you don't want to go
home
you don't want to be
anywhere
you don't want to feel
anything
you wish time would
stop
and you could remain
frozen
non-existent
numb
for just a little while
May 10, 2016
May 10, 2016 at 11:52 AM UTC
I'm sobering up now
and it starts to hit me;
one word screams in the back of my mind.
I finally arrive home and I feel physically sick.
Not because of the alcohol,
but from the events of the night
I walk into my bathroom
and stare at my reflection in the mirror.
I take off my make up,
and erase any evidence
of her lipstick on my cheeks.
I stand there
staring at myself.
My face is a wreck
my hair is a mess
and I smell like alcohol and cigarettes.
I change,
wash my face,
and climb into bed.
The clock reads
4:27
That's when the tears begin to form.
This feeling isn't new
I've experienced it before,
many times before now
But this time
it's different.
This time
I name it.
Guilt.
It's a funny thing.
It's a strange kind of feeling
You first experience it as a child,
taking that cookie
from the cookie jar
when no one was looking.
It feels great at first.
adrenaline
kicks in and you feel
like you can do anything.
But you know
deep inside
you know
you can't.
You will eventually
be caught.
Someone saw you
take that cookie,
steal that t-shirt,
lie to that boy,
kiss that girl
Someone saw you.
The truth will always come out.
Guilt.
When it sets in
there's no turning back.
No changing what you've done.
And that feeling
of knowing
you ****** up
and there's nothing you can do
that feeling
can tear you a part.
that feeling
can hurt you
in ways you never thought
you could be hurt.
Guilt.
When it sets in
you realize
you've hurt not only
the people around you
but you've damaged something
deep inside yourself
that can never be repaired.
A darkness
penetrates your soul
and settles in your heart
A darkness
that can never be removed.
May 7, 2016
May 7, 2016 at 10:44 PM UTC