cameryns-carmal-candies

I'm scared. I can't lose you. We have plans, remember?

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Mar 26, 2015

Mar 26, 2015 at 5:20 PM UTC

I'm scared. I can't lose you. We have plans, remember?

How are you? bad. Im fine. How are you? I'm scared! Im good, and you? How are you today? I want to die. Please save me! I'm great. How was your day?

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Mar 26, 2015

Mar 26, 2015 at 5:18 PM UTC

Stop Asking

How are you? bad. Im fine. How are you? I'm scared! Im good, and you? How are you today? I want to die. Please save me! I'm great. How was your day?

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Dorothy, Who left me in tears, Watching her walk away, Was crying everystep of the way. Dorothy of OZ, Who walked down the old path with out looking back, Walked alone. Dorothy never asked for help, Because she didn't want them to touch to tarnished bricks, That used to be bright but now brings depression, A curse to all who tread its endless path. Dorothy, won't you come back, So I can walk with you? I know Im not the greatest person, Annoying and helpless, But I would follow you anywhere. You aren't alone.

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Jan 2, 2015

Jan 2, 2015 at 9:52 PM UTC

Dorothy and Her Secrets

Dorothy, Who left me in tears, Watching her walk away, Was crying everystep of the way. Dorothy of OZ, Who walked down the old path with out looking back, Walked alone. Dorothy never asked for help, Because she didn't want them to touch to tarnished bricks, That used to be bright but now brings depression, A curse to all who tread its endless path. Dorothy, won't you come back, So I can walk with you? I know Im not the greatest person, Annoying and helpless, But I would follow you anywhere. You aren't alone.

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I'm sure I did it again Don't ask me how. I ask myself this, and I come up with a list That is twenty miles long, Listing everything, Yet blank, Just as confused as I. I don't quite know, If it was my insanity or yours That shoved us away. Maybe a bit of both? Maybe it was neither. Maybe you got sick of me, I know I'm quite annoying And I have to many flaws. How did you ever put up with me?! Maybe it was you, Maybe we're just too different now. But it wasn't your fault, You've done nothing wrong. You never do. You can come back, Anytime. There will always be a spot for you. Because you were great. Funny and silly, And even when you weren't I felt nice near you. And I know you're having problems, I know too well, For I read it in your poems, And it hurts. I want to help, But only if I'm wanted, Because in all those poems, About people you like and love, People who you need around None are about me. Please come back, The table will feel empty. I will feel a little empty. I miss you.

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Dec 4, 2014

Dec 4, 2014 at 9:15 PM UTC

Again

I'm sure I did it again Don't ask me how. I ask myself this, and I come up with a list That is twenty miles long, Listing everything, Yet blank, Just as confused as I. I don't quite know, If it was my insanity or yours That shoved us away. Maybe a bit of both? Maybe it was neither. Maybe you got sick of me, I know I'm quite annoying And I have to many flaws. How did you ever put up with me?! Maybe it was you, Maybe we're just too different now. But it wasn't your fault, You've done nothing wrong. You never do. You can come back, Anytime. There will always be a spot for you. Because you were great. Funny and silly, And even when you weren't I felt nice near you. And I know you're having problems, I know too well, For I read it in your poems, And it hurts. I want to help, But only if I'm wanted, Because in all those poems, About people you like and love, People who you need around None are about me. Please come back, The table will feel empty. I will feel a little empty. I miss you.

43

Soft Hello's Quiet so no one can hear, Quick smiles and laughs, Brief so no on can see. Whispered Hello's, Soft smiles, Bursting giggles, Warm bubbles, The sweetest caress, The shyest I Love You, That echo's around the place, Under the road, Where only we go. Bright eyes, When I grin, And whisper back, I Know. Take your hand in mine And continue counting the Cars passing by. Soft and whispered, So no one can see or hear, What is only ment, For our eyes and our ears.

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Nov 11, 2014

Nov 11, 2014 at 5:28 PM UTC

Our Place Under The Traffic

Soft Hello's Quiet so no one can hear, Quick smiles and laughs, Brief so no on can see. Whispered Hello's, Soft smiles, Bursting giggles, Warm bubbles, The sweetest caress, The shyest I Love You, That echo's around the place, Under the road, Where only we go. Bright eyes, When I grin, And whisper back, I Know. Take your hand in mine And continue counting the Cars passing by. Soft and whispered, So no one can see or hear, What is only ment, For our eyes and our ears.

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Oh glasses, Dear glasses, Why do you hate me so? I wear you, I clean you, I keep you safe! I buy you soft cloths, And a pretty little case! But when I read, Write, Draw, Play, On anything that projects light, You become mirrors, In which people can see, Everything Im doing, On my glowing electronics screen.

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Nov 10, 2014

Nov 10, 2014 at 9:00 PM UTC

Traitors

Oh glasses, Dear glasses, Why do you hate me so? I wear you, I clean you, I keep you safe! I buy you soft cloths, And a pretty little case! But when I read, Write, Draw, Play, On anything that projects light, You become mirrors, In which people can see, Everything Im doing, On my glowing electronics screen.

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Im quickly falling off my broken chipped wall. One side holds the same hell as before, The other holds great uncertainty. I can't decide where I want to . . . . Fall.

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Nov 10, 2014

Nov 10, 2014 at 8:14 PM UTC

Falling

Im quickly falling off my broken chipped wall. One side holds the same hell as before, The other holds great uncertainty. I can't decide where I want to . . . . Fall.

33

Surrounded by emotions, That I can't sort into good or bad Surrounded by stress, That I can weigh in importance. Surrounded by guilt, I can't tell if is illogical or not, Surrounded by shadows That I can't tell are real or not. If this is what it feels like to be crazy, Then I long to be just troubled, And if Im considered normal, I shudder at the thought of insanity. I walk through life regreting every word Every look Every touch EVERY YELL every whisper eVerY BoUGhT of InSANIty And trying to reasure myself I do fine, When everything screams at me You messed up again! So I'm sorry to the people who stay near me and fake a smile, As I annoy you to no ends But you can't say anything because you pity me, And you have to deal with me always tagging along As you pray I take the hint. Please tell me when I annoy you, I promise I won't be angry, And if I am its not at you. Because everytime I'm angry, I'm just yelling at myself.

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Nov 10, 2014

Nov 10, 2014 at 7:56 PM UTC

Social Anxiety

Surrounded by emotions, That I can't sort into good or bad Surrounded by stress, That I can weigh in importance. Surrounded by guilt, I can't tell if is illogical or not, Surrounded by shadows That I can't tell are real or not. If this is what it feels like to be crazy, Then I long to be just troubled, And if Im considered normal, I shudder at the thought of insanity. I walk through life regreting every word Every look Every touch EVERY YELL every whisper eVerY BoUGhT of InSANIty And trying to reasure myself I do fine, When everything screams at me You messed up again! So I'm sorry to the people who stay near me and fake a smile, As I annoy you to no ends But you can't say anything because you pity me, And you have to deal with me always tagging along As you pray I take the hint. Please tell me when I annoy you, I promise I won't be angry, And if I am its not at you. Because everytime I'm angry, I'm just yelling at myself.

31

I’m constantly tottering on the wall of It’ll Get Better and Suicidal, whispering to both " How?” How can anything get better, but how could I take my life and any chance that it will? When I was in sixth grade a test asked me what I wanted to do after highschool, and I didn’t know how to answer because.. I didn’t even plan on living past highschool. So I filled in the buubble beside other, and when my teacher took me outside the classroom to ask that godforsaken question Why?, I fibbed and said college wasn’t for me, and that I wouldn’t need it for my dream job. I didn’t mention that I couldn’t afford college, or my suicide plan, or the fact that I had no dreams. Now, not long after, I’m intent on breaking myself until I shatter, desperate to feel anything after I died inside so long ago and left a scarred shell behind that walks and talks and laughs and smiles, but most of all hides and cries. I’ve tried suffocating myself. I tried drowning myself. I dont cut simply because I can’t find a blade. I have dreams but I’m constantly assured by EVERYONE I won’t be anything special I nod and change the topic because I know. <p>I’m abused and home and I know I deserve it, every nasty truth they sneer before saying they love me and sending me away, every hit that lands hard enough to hurt but either smartly hidden or delivered in a way I won’t bruise. I’m breaking, With few things giving me happiness, and humans bringing me pain with nasty looks and cruel words that hurt so bad but I nod and agree. My friends don’t even know how much it hurts me to hang around them, as my darkest demons whisper how much happier they would be without me. But selfishly I cling to them. I need help but I dont deserve it, and I’m so, so sorry to whoever read this that I bothered you. But again tonight I'll whisper to both sides. How can it get better? How can it get worse?

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Nov 9, 2014

Nov 9, 2014 at 8:23 PM UTC

Blurts

I’m constantly tottering on the wall of It’ll Get Better and Suicidal, whispering to both " How?” How can anything get better, but how could I take my life and any chance that it will? When I was in sixth grade a test asked me what I wanted to do after highschool, and I didn’t know how to answer because.. I didn’t even plan on living past highschool. So I filled in the buubble beside other, and when my teacher took me outside the classroom to ask that godforsaken question Why?, I fibbed and said college wasn’t for me, and that I wouldn’t need it for my dream job. I didn’t mention that I couldn’t afford college, or my suicide plan, or the fact that I had no dreams. Now, not long after, I’m intent on breaking myself until I shatter, desperate to feel anything after I died inside so long ago and left a scarred shell behind that walks and talks and laughs and smiles, but most of all hides and cries. I’ve tried suffocating myself. I tried drowning myself. I dont cut simply because I can’t find a blade. I have dreams but I’m constantly assured by EVERYONE I won’t be anything special I nod and change the topic because I know. <p>I’m abused and home and I know I deserve it, every nasty truth they sneer before saying they love me and sending me away, every hit that lands hard enough to hurt but either smartly hidden or delivered in a way I won’t bruise. I’m breaking, With few things giving me happiness, and humans bringing me pain with nasty looks and cruel words that hurt so bad but I nod and agree. My friends don’t even know how much it hurts me to hang around them, as my darkest demons whisper how much happier they would be without me. But selfishly I cling to them. I need help but I dont deserve it, and I’m so, so sorry to whoever read this that I bothered you. But again tonight I'll whisper to both sides. How can it get better? How can it get worse?

19

Maybe I'm done being Just a nobody Waiting for my voice to be heard People to point and whisper Its her. I'm done being just a shadow A face in the faceless crowd Im gonna fly like a sparrow And drown the chatter out. People are going to freeze When they hear me speak. Or so thats the plan But I'm the white crayon, And there no more more black paper. Im so done leading, This useless life! Can't make people smile, Can't end the fights. So watch me rise! Watch me reach my peak! Make a new mountain, In only a week. Never stop rising, Stop being the best me. At least thats the plan, The brightest crayon.

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Nov 9, 2014

Nov 9, 2014 at 6:14 PM UTC

Me

Maybe I'm done being Just a nobody Waiting for my voice to be heard People to point and whisper Its her. I'm done being just a shadow A face in the faceless crowd Im gonna fly like a sparrow And drown the chatter out. People are going to freeze When they hear me speak. Or so thats the plan But I'm the white crayon, And there no more more black paper. Im so done leading, This useless life! Can't make people smile, Can't end the fights. So watch me rise! Watch me reach my peak! Make a new mountain, In only a week. Never stop rising, Stop being the best me. At least thats the plan, The brightest crayon.

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