i was adopted,
therefore,
my mom didn't
biologically
pass down any traits
to me.
not my eyes,
my hair,
or my smile.
but, you know what
she did give me?
my low self-esteem.
Dec 14, 2019
Dec 14, 2019 at 2:40 AM UTC
society has taught us
not to believe a girl
that's been hurt,
especially if shes
been hurt
for a second time.
Dec 14, 2019
Dec 14, 2019 at 2:38 AM UTC
ç'est la vie.
such is life.
my brother got it tattooed
across his ribs.
my coworker repeats it
all day long.
but,
*********
was it just life when
my mom called me an
irresponsible *****
days after i helped with her bills?
was it just life when
i skipped every other class
to sit in the bathroom and cry
because i didn't feel wanted?
was it just life when
my biological, drug-addicted mother
told me i was growing up to be
just like her?
was it just life when
i got a text from a boy who
was concerned that i was pregnant
from *** i don't remember having?
was it just life when
my grandma cried at the alter,
praying to god that
i would finally become sober?
was it just life when
my brother couldn't even look at me
as i sat on a hospital bed
after trying to end my own life?
was it just life when
i spent the night running from the cops
after my mom threw me on the floor
and wanted me back home?
was it just life when
my alcoholic sister
screamed at me that
i have a problem?
maybe it wasn't just life.
maybe it was just
my life.
Nov 11, 2019
Nov 11, 2019 at 2:20 AM UTC
you don't know pain
until it's staring you
straight in the eyes.
this time
it's your mother.
she's tired and even
wilting.
and you're the reason why.
Sep 9, 2019
Sep 9, 2019 at 12:12 AM UTC
when i was young,
i thought my tears
would nourish roses.
now that i'm older
i know they will
drown sorrows.
Jul 7, 2019
Jul 7, 2019 at 10:37 PM UTC
my big brother,
he's my everything.
but when i was admitted
into the hospital
i was so mad at him.
so ******* mad.
my mom
came to visit me
every day,
but he only came once.
it was a five minute visit
on his way to go see
his now ex girlfriend.
that was six months ago.
he has a fiancé now.
i sat down with her yesterday
and had a long talk.
i told her the story
and how mad i had been.
she looked at me with
those sad eyes
i see so often.
"he told me about that,"
she said,
"he told me that you
were mad.
but he also told me
he couldn't bear
to see you
when he's your
big brother
and he failed
to protect you."
Jun 16, 2019
Jun 16, 2019 at 12:52 AM UTC
now that i'm sober
my mom says that
i've quit a lot
and i don't have to
give up smoking
just yet.
but she buys
nicotine patches
and leaves them
in my room.
i'm trying mom.
i swear it to you.
Jun 16, 2019
Jun 16, 2019 at 12:51 AM UTC
i wanna run away
and live a glamorous life
with nobody but
the voices in my head
May 5, 2019
May 5, 2019 at 11:32 PM UTC
just know.
every tear,
every laugh,
every butterfly.
it's not because of you.
Apr 3, 2019
Apr 3, 2019 at 1:41 PM UTC
you say my heart
is cold.
i'm sorry.
it's been shattered
so many times
freezing it
was the only way
i knew
to put it
back together.
Mar 21, 2019
Mar 21, 2019 at 12:21 AM UTC