these waters are as frigid as the frozen tundra
my finger tips have gone numb and had begun to turn purple
shivering underneath the arctic ice,
I could not speak, I could not breathe,
out of control with time quickly running out
I had to make a choice
fall in love with you
or die out here in these polar conditions
for you see, I could not decide which would be more scary
but there you were only a few feet away reaching for me
no matter how many times I had thrown myself in harms way, you were always there to help me pick up the pieces and put the puzzle back together
if I take your hand, I give you the opportunity to **** me way worse than these frozen waters could
I could float right here in this very spot,
until my heart stopped
knocked unconscious and dream of you, paint a beautiful picture of us inside my eyelids
or I could take your hand and live in reality
I couldn't feel you until I was out of the water, and wrapped in a hug,
in your arms I felt your warmth surround me as if our auras had blended together to create a double rainbow of chakras perfectly aligned
in your embrace I was confident I had made the right choice
nestled closely underneath your chin, I managed to crack and smile with my blue-gray lips
I would be fine, as long as I had you
don't wade in the frozen waters, go on and take their hand
Jun 25, 2015
Jun 25, 2015 at 5:07 PM UTC
lost,
left behind my loving tendencies
and traded them for substance abuse
for a pill would never lay it's hand on me
or slander me in front of my friends
it acted as a pillow
a cushion upon which i became too reliant
- how many times do you have to be pushed down before you finally say i've had enough -
where is the breaking point?
*if someone pushed you off a cliff, but didn't mean it, would you just climb back to the top & have no hard feelings?*
when do you speak up?
once it's too late?
Feb 22, 2015
Feb 22, 2015 at 4:01 PM UTC
2003
sitting on the bank of the river
eyes closed, the sound of the rapids
muffling the sniffles of a lonely little girl
Feb 21, 2015
Feb 21, 2015 at 9:54 PM UTC
as i watched you drown i remember the sound
of your muffled cries, but you had to taste the lies
you had spun thousands of webs,
i could no longer hold creditability
for the words that flew around my head
you had hit me with an uppercut to the jaw
for the flaws you had made a point to highlight
didn't exist to anyone else other than yourself
so put your insecurities to rest
and inhale this water into your lungs
let them over flow & burst
yes darling, death does hurt
but when were all living to die
its understandable why you'd want to give up trying
let my lullaby swoon satan,
i would even dance with him, for you
as i watched you drown i remember the sound
of your mom pounding on the door
such a shame you refused to explore life longer
pray god wont be upset with me,
for every second your head was held underneath the water,
by my hand
i felt stronger
Nov 28, 2014
Nov 28, 2014 at 5:48 PM UTC
an un lit cigarette dangled from her lips
even the slightest breeze would blow it away
she brought fire between her cupped hands
inhale, exhale
relaxation settling in
She had spent her entire life trying to find what she was missing
Always curious what shade of green lied on the other side
Never satisfied with anything less than what her daddy promised
Her only true goal had been to locate her inner peace
to be one with whatever purpose she was sent to fulfill
Hours of meditation and countless attempts to achieve out of body experiences, in hope that the light would illuminate and the spark inside of her would be aflame with knowledge
still, no answer
only empty shot glasses, and ashtrays full of roaches
May 13, 2014
May 13, 2014 at 2:21 PM UTC
revolting youth with elevated minds
on a quest to find their true purpose
calm composures and steady hands
unaware that their palms were full of clay
that they had the power to shape who they'd become
with the ignorant assumption that time was on their side
they rode into the sunset careless and misguided
broken hearts, pieces scattered amongst the tears left behind
a generation consumed by their appearance
at war with themselves for
cigarettes burn between the two fingers needed to make peace
the adoption of patience will help shape the clay
that weighs heavy in the hands
of a revolting youth
Mar 11, 2014
Mar 11, 2014 at 11:19 PM UTC
emotionless and numb
yet i could still feel your tongue
when it became entwined with mine
tired and worn
i begged you to go
but you kept your grip on me
scarred and barely breathing
i had become your whole world
dragging you down alongside with me
twisted and burned
there was no return
we had fallen much too deep
daddy's little girl turned prescription pill princess
and had no intentions of coming down
head in the clouds,
i had become beyond the point of numb
hopeless and ungrateful
but you finally left me
once i had hit rock bottom
destructive and ambitious
i brought a sledge hammer to our existence
and because you left
it's all up to me to pick up the pieces now
Feb 26, 2014
Feb 26, 2014 at 2:31 AM UTC
the butterflies I thought had died
built cocoons within my stomach cavity
shielding themselves from the heart break
that had followed shortly after
the words "we're over" left your lips
Your eyes, always heavy with worry
accompanied by a hint of loneliness
pierced through my every attempt to shut you out
but when I refused to feel the warmth of your embrace
you grew tired of sowing the rips I had tore in your heart
and you left me to fend for myself in an unfamiliar crowd
A once colorful and vibrant bouquet of flowers
now sat on a rickety coffee table immersed in murky water
the petals, withered and discolored lay in a pile in front of the vase
I had saved them, regardless of their bad condition
because it was all I had left of you
the butterflies stay nestled in their cocoons
while your eyes lock with another girl's
we had ran out of thread, so my heart still remains in pieces
a project you never cared to finish
and now your embrace is felt by another
and the flowers have begun to grow mold
Feb 12, 2014
Feb 12, 2014 at 8:32 PM UTC
razor blades between teeth, words cut deep into your ego
image the surprise when the skin broke and your hateful words bled out
a puddle of uneducated assumptions and misread actions on the floor
an adult she had seemed to be, but on the inside the little girl had never died, only her teddy bear and crayons had been traded in for knives and a bottle of pills
now she recites the bed time stories she heard as a child onto her wrists
and the sound of her blood hitting the floor, had become her lullaby
Feb 12, 2014
Feb 12, 2014 at 3:24 AM UTC
across the oceans surface
my hopes float amongst the waves
lapping against the shore with a violent rhythm
the tide growing angrier with every retraction
desperation making the water cold
reaching hypothermic temperatures
eventually,
my aspirations and everything I have ever known
will sink to the bottom
where they will remain
along with the promises you broke
and all the words I never got to say
Feb 12, 2014
Feb 12, 2014 at 3:04 AM UTC