You call me your lover, you call me your friend
But boy you have to realize our love has come to an end
You try to make me remember when all i want to do is forget
You know perfectly well I haven't just yet
Holding me close only makes me want to run
Just loosen up and let me have some fun
I don't love you, maybe I never did, for you never satisfied
All you ever wanted to do was play games, cheat and lie
You make me remember the times good and bad
You make me remember all the times you made me sad
I am not the girl you used to love, I am not child you fell for
I am a woman, not a girl, I have fought and over came the world, I am no cheap *****
You tell me you love me, you worship me still
But boy you don't know that you're heart I'll ****
You broke me, you hurt me, you made me cry
And yet you're still wondering why I said good bye?
You call me your lover, say that I'll always belong to you
But baby, the thought of loving you makes me all shades of blue
I have found a guy who treats me so very right
I spend most days talking with him long into the night
You tell me you love me, you don't know a thing
You tell me you want to buy me a diamond ring
Boy you know nothing, all you do is make me cry
You're like a fat catfish and I'm ready to fry
So run away child of my past, don't you know we were never meant to last
You should have run away from me, should have run so fast
I held you close once, couldn't live without you
And now that I am happy you come running right back, wanting to make me blue
I used to burn your sign into my skin, just to my loyalty
But you treated me like a slave, he treats me like royalty
He loves me, you never did, You wanted to maintain the life that you hide
He know me deeply, knows exactly what is down deep inside
What can you offer that he can't offer more?
He treats me like a queen., you treated me like a *****
You call me your lover, you call me your friend
But darling this torture you call love has come to its end
I have found someone who just cannot be compared to you
He is a King of the night, you're just a Prince dying for a fight
So go to hell and take your feeling with you
Because darling, we are now through
May 14, 2015
May 14, 2015 at 11:43 AM UTC
You say you're just a savage
But to me you were always more
You smell of blood and war
But to me there was always more
You love to laugh in my face
You call me foolish and push me away
I stand so still, for you are
a Mountain Lion, I'm just an outside tabby cat
If you wanted you could hurt me
For in the past you have, you've done it before
You called me names and stop
You stop talking to me, you've made me cry
But there is a beauty in your madness
You make me want to walk beside you, I don't know why...
You say I have a heart of solid black
And if my heart was black then yours is that of space
You make me crazy, I want you that much
You tell me to go away, with snarl in your voice
But how can I go away? How can I leave?
When you are like a black hole and I can never be free
There is beauty in your eyes, like space without sunlight
You once wanted me... but now I am just a nuisance
You told me once that you cared about me
How happy I once was... When you cared
But I was fool...
For Mountain Lions tend to eat outside tabby cats
May 10, 2015
May 10, 2015 at 5:52 PM UTC
People don't fall in love with the death they see in me
They just notice the glimmers of life left in me
I like to run away from their love because
Everything that is around me goes madder then the hatter
I try to save them all from myself, from the monster in me
But tonight I am all alone and I need someone who isn't friendzoned
I lay in my bed, dead thoughts float in the deep water in my head
I would love to have a lover or two who know just what to do
But an undead lover is hard to find, they don't make them anymore
And I certainly don't want a human manwhore to come knocking at my door
So here I lay hating all that is alive and wishing even more of me were dead inside
I run all throughout the day, from the sunlight I try to get away
For the sun shows off my morgue styled scars and the blueness of my skin
But at night no body knows, no one gets who I actually am
I dress to impress and wear perfume to mask the rotting smell of my breath
No one seems to care that the putrid smell lingers everywhere
May 8, 2015
May 8, 2015 at 11:17 AM UTC
Our hearts beat faster then fast can be
It runs in our thick blood, you see?
I was nineteen when my heart took control
My breath ****** into my chest like a black hole
My body shook and trembled violently, I fell to the floor
I started to cry, begging my heart for no more!
Against my rib cage it crashed like the tides of the sea
You would have been just as scared if you had been me
With my hand on my chest, I breathed real deep
From my eyes long drops of tears I did weep
I tried to stop my hearts beat, so very frantic
I was oddly calm as I wept tears of physical panic
I knew it would happen to me... I just never thought it'd be so soon
The physical discomfort of my own heartbeat was like a monsoon
I held my breath and counted to ten... Trying to get my rhythm to still on it's own
My Mom from 47 minutes away frantically told me to go to a doctor, for what for my body to be shown?
So I laid in my bed and let my heartbeat go wild...
I listened to Modred's Lullaby remembering the lyrics from when I was a child
"Hush, child
The darkness will rise from the deep
And carry you down into sleep
Child, the darkness will rise from the deep
And carry you down into sleep"
Finally my eyes closed, and I thought to myself as a lines from Haelstorm's song Mz Hyde
Resounded in my skull until it was deep inside
"Welcome to the nightmare in my head,
Say hello to something scary,
The monster in your bed,
Just give in and you won’t be sorry,
Welcome to my other side,
Hello it’s Mz. Hyde!"
I actually faded...faded away
How amazed when I woke up the very next day...
May 5, 2015
May 5, 2015 at 9:15 AM UTC
are you still there?
underneath all that anger?
do you still care?
or is my dead heart reading
too much into your words again
do i still have a part
of your heart that still beats?
or is your heart as dead as mine?
do you still burn for me?
or am I just a faded memory?
I miss you daily, the you I knew
when you didn't hide from me
are you still fire or are you now ash?
should I mourn or rejoice
at you coming back...
May 4, 2015
May 4, 2015 at 9:50 AM UTC
You Were Fire
Once upon a time
How cliche is that?
But it fits with you
I read a poem you wrote
And I knew I had to meet
The dark fixated poet
And I fell so long ago
Though it seems like yesterday
We were wrapped in each others
Lustful digital arms
You stared in my dreams
It was you I wrote about
You, the darling torturer
I, the willing victim
Sometimes I remember how you burned
Seemingly just for me, what a fool
I was to think you wouldn't change
What a little girl I was
Hoping to catch you and put you in amber
Keeping that fire burning forever
As I'd hold you up in the moonlight
But you changed... And so did I
I wanted things to be set in stone
And I didn't know fire... when caught tends to burn...
May 4, 2015
May 4, 2015 at 9:40 AM UTC
My heart can be compared to the northern lights
It is reflected in my dark brown eyes
That flash colors that no one can explain
Blues the base of all the other colors
All colors fade and melt into the blueness of my soul
My red passion mixed with my blue depression turns into a lustful purple
My hearts deep blue depths sparkle with life
Flashing strands of neon green rise from the depths to the surface and pool there
Embers the colors of vibrant oranges, violent reds and golden yellow burn in the deep blues
Making my soul look angry and aggressive
Though when the brave reach out to touch
They are not burned with the heat of fire but by the fierce pain of pure ice
I watch as if in a dream as my soul changes shape and color
Sometimes it's icy beauty takes my breath away
And causes tears to fill my dark flashing eyes
My soul has seasons like the Earth
Winter, Spring, Summer, Fall
Each season brings its own colors and feelings
It is an endless color wheel that is alive and fills the room with it's life
But sometimes there is no color...
And my soul goes black... and it takes love to bring the color back...
May 1, 2015
May 1, 2015 at 8:28 PM UTC
Make me forget who I am for a night
You can do what you want just hold me tight
My pain is evident in my dark eyes
My mouth painted red with loves lies
My nails dig into your back deep
As you make me forget I weep
Something about the man that is you
I forget the things that make my heart blue
You press your lips against mine consuming my soul
But that is what you do... that's your goal...
You make me numb with this thing called love
But to handle the beast you're going to have to wear more then a satin glove
My heart slows as you give me what I want
But I know my actions tonight will haunt
I know you are doing what you do best
By causing me to forget the pain caused by all the rest
May 1, 2015
May 1, 2015 at 8:13 PM UTC
You tell me on facebook "ily, bby"
Not even taking the time to type it out...
You ask me constantly if I am going to leave
I lay in bed crying at night because you forget me
So many guys want to be in my life that it hurts...
It hurts that I have to break their trusting gaze
Because I'm looking towards you...
Looking, hoping praying that your love is true
When I met you I told you to call me Kitty or Blue
But instead you call me by my real name, something few people do
When we first got together we were hotter then fire and gasoline
Now we're barely a half empty lighter on a chain smoker
When did things fade away? When did things start to change?
When did you finally get sick of being with me?
You still tell me you love me... But I have to say it first...
Am I just a nuisance? Do I actually annoy you?
Tears fill my eyes as my feelings I compromise...
You are getting away with my ******
The ****** of my heart and soul, the flash in my eyes
I become the meekest child under your gaze
And I just no longer know what to do...
Because I fear I no longer love you...
Apr 29, 2015
Apr 29, 2015 at 11:24 AM UTC
I have searched my whole life for someone like you
Though I have lied and told others that, it's different I mean it with you
I have ****** up every relationship I have ever been in...
Fear has wrecked my love for anyone before you
But with you I am not afraid... I am strong
You are what I want... I will do whatever it takes to keep you
You don't ask me to do anything... You never have
You read my poems about other guys, pure fiction
I thought you would leave then... That you wouldn't let me explain
But you stopped and let me talk to you... let me explain
How I cut up my memories and glue them together to make a poem
It was simply astonishing how your anger faded, how you excepted my fiction
You are the Sun to my Moon I reflect the love, the light I see in you
Everything about you I simply adore, I wait all day until the night
For that's when we can talk for hours on end
You have no idea how cold I was before you...
I hope you never learn all the things I've done
I know you have an idea but you haven't heard it from my mouth
How I sought to break guys hearts, how I'd lie to make them love me...
All because people broke my heart... But then you tamed the beast inside
You made her love you as much as I do, you disarmed my traps
With your honesty you won my respect... I've never respected any of my lovers from the past
If I could I'd tell you everything I've ever done... But I'd run out of words...
I was a beast before you loved me that's about the simplest way to put it
Apr 21, 2015
Apr 21, 2015 at 11:54 AM UTC