My parents divorced when I was only 18 months old.
It got to the point where my father kissed liquor bottles more than his own wife and his apologies turned into broken records.
It took sixteen years for my mother to decide it's strange for a man to blacken eyes more often than he sees his own children.
It's taken 15 years of my mother apologizing for me to realize that maybe she isn't apologizing for what should've been, but what shouldn't have needed to happen.
It's taken 20 years for my father to say sorry and mean it.
It's taken losing both his wives, his children, his mother, his father; everyone that ever loved him, for him to think, "maybe I'm the problem."
It's taken life threatening diseases, surgeries, hospital beds and no phone calls for him to wonder what'll happen if he doesn't make it.
It's taken lie after lie, his mother lying in a casket, me asking what we ever did to deserve this, what good could ever come of this, for him to ask, "what if we can't get past this?"
Dec 4, 2015
Dec 4, 2015 at 4:47 AM UTC
Your eyes are the colour of my tea
when I've forgotten about it for hours.
When I find it, I end up not even wanting to drink it, but I do, because it's there and I'm here.
I don't think this makes any sense at all but I guess that why I'll always try to reheat you; us. Because you're there, and I'm here.
But don't think we'll ever be the same.
Feb 9, 2015
Feb 9, 2015 at 2:44 PM UTC
i am so very sorry
i'm sorry that you love me
you will one day
regret it
because i will destroy you
i will one day
regret it too
but by then I will have
torn you apart
and it will have been
too late
i am so very sorry
May 19, 2014
May 19, 2014 at 3:23 AM UTC
since you've fallen in love with me
please remember that
I'm going to crumble
many times
please remember that
i will mess up -- a lot
but i don't mean to
please remember that I may not say much
but I pay attention
to everything
please remember
not to yell at me
or I will cry
and tell you I hate you
and then I will quickly crawl into your lap
and beg you
to forgive me
because I don't
in the least bit
hate you
please remember
that I want to know everything about you
so I will ask a lot of stupid questions
like what your favourite smell is
and please remember
that I will remember what it is
it's an armoury, right?
so if it changes
please tell me
and please remember
that if it thunders
I will cry
and I will not stop
until it stops
And since you happen
to be in love with me
please remember that
I am broken
and I may or may not ever be fixed
please remember
I will probably have more bad days
than I will good
and that I will frustrate you so much
remember that I will cry
and scream
and throw things
such as pillows
at the wall
but also
please remember
that I love you
and will continue to
with every last piece
of me.
May 19, 2014
May 19, 2014 at 3:05 AM UTC