I found a ribbon.
And without thinking,
I took one end
Into each hand.
And I tugged.
Hard.
It made little sounds
Like it was twanging.
Over and over again.
Then I stopped,
And saw
That it still looked
Brand new.
And this
Didn't seem fair.
That an object
So inanimate,
Could withstand
So much abuse.
When my heart
Was felled
In one blow.
But then I saw
A little string
On one end
Of the ribbon.
And I pulled.
It started to unravel.
So I pulled
And pulled
And pulled.
Until finally,
The ribbon
Wasn't a ribbon.
But a pile
Of tiny stings
Just sitting in my hand.
And I felt better.
Because now
My heart
Wasn't the only thing,
In a thousand little pieces.
Mar 13, 2015
Mar 13, 2015 at 1:23 PM UTC
This morning I woke up,
And knew for sure
That you were gone.
The last time that I touched you
Was inside of a dream.
And though my cheek still tingled,
Where I last felt your breath
I knew it wasn't real,
And wouldn't ever be.
Now I must start my mourning
Again, at the beginning.
Mar 13, 2015
Mar 13, 2015 at 12:54 PM UTC
Don't put me on a pedestal.
I'm far too clumsy.
To be up that high,
I'll right off-
But you won't notice.
I can't live with a man,
That thinks I'm a perfect princess.
I can't live with a man,
That worships the ground I walk on.
Because I'm human-
I make mistakes-
And I **** up.
And I need that to be okay.
I can't have someone
Who's in denial,
That I can do wrong.
I've messed up,
And I'll do it again.
I want someone who will help me through.
Not tell me that it doesn't matter.
Mar 7, 2015
Mar 7, 2015 at 6:33 PM UTC
I think,
That I've just about always
Tried to look at my life
As if it were a comedy-
Of the romantic variety.
But at this point,
It'd be a terrible franchise
With way too many sequels.
And each film would end
Just a little bit sadder
Than the one that came before it.
But then when I try to see my life
As a tragedy
It just doesn't feel right.
Maybe, despite all the odds,
I'm more optimistic
Than I really should be.
And I'm hoping, maybe, this movie
Is out to win an Oscar.
It's sad,
It's far too long,
And has an actress nobody has heard of.
But it eventually comes to an ending
That makes you think,
"I'm glad I'm not her,
Though it was happy in the end."
Jan 23, 2015
Jan 23, 2015 at 1:45 AM UTC
I'm terrified outside my mind
My heart can't beat slow enough
For me to fall asleep
Every breath I take
Feels like a fire
Burning inside my chest
And it's all because of you
The way you've gotten me
So terribly confused
The way you put your arm around me
And told me I was special
I believed it might be true
But now you've gone away
To a place so very far
That I fear you may just stay there
Jan 19, 2015
Jan 19, 2015 at 12:22 AM UTC
Absolutely terrified.
Shaking in complete and utter fear.
Currently, that's me.
Typing up a confession,
Unlike anything I've ever written,
In the middle of the night.
The dark closing in like a cloak
Just for me to hide inside of.
But I know that this confession,
It must see the light of day.
And when it does I'll feel more naked
Than on the day that I was born.
I just hope the blanket I get wrapped in
Is one made up of your warm arms.
Jan 18, 2015
Jan 18, 2015 at 3:12 AM UTC
I've thought a lot about you,
In general of course.
But something about today
Has brought you to my mind
Even more than I am used to.
I thought briefly you were driving
That big green pick-up truck I saw,
The one with the yellow license plate-
It just seemed so very you.
Then I thought I saw you,
In a man with short cut hair
And a nice red tie.
But I remembered that you're far away,
And it wasn't possible.
But then again later, I felt desperately sad.
For no real reason,
Nothing that I could explain.
And it made me think of you.
I hope that you're alright.
I hope that you're not hurt.
I want to text you, call you, email,
Anything at all.
To make sure that you're okay.
But we haven't talked in quite some time.
And I'd hate to over step.
So instead I'll lay awake tonight.
And think of you.
And hope that you're alright.
Jan 17, 2015
Jan 17, 2015 at 12:37 AM UTC
I thought I could handle this.
But I can't.
And I'm sorry.
I'm weak.
And already too broken.
I can't do this.
I don't have the energy.
I thought that I could.
And I'm sorry.
For being wrong.
For lying to you.
For lying to myself.
For not being strong enough.
I just don't have what it takes to do this.
Dec 31, 2014
Dec 31, 2014 at 3:04 AM UTC
I just don't understand what's going on,
I have no clue what I am to you.
Am I more now?
Am I less?
Has nothing changed at all?
I'm not a fan of ambiguity;
Especially in friends.
And I thought that we were more.
But this unknown state of being
Is tearing me apart.
So if you meant to say
That when you come back
You'll be coming back for me-
You should say it sooner.
Because if you wait 'til later
I might already be gone.
Dec 31, 2014
Dec 31, 2014 at 2:50 AM UTC
Seven years down the drain
All because I've sat here waiting.
But now the seven years are up
And a miracle has happened.
But that miracle I wished for
All those seven years ago,
Was wished for in a time and place
So very different from this world.
So now I'm stuck here incredibly upset,
Hoping that somehow you can fit
Into this life of mine I've made.
Dec 31, 2014
Dec 31, 2014 at 12:08 AM UTC