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bryliesjournal
i've been pushed to be perfect, everything has to be perfect, i have to be perfect. i push my imperfections on people, "you're imperfect, i should perfect you, like how i was perfected" imperfection scares me. if its not perfect its messy and out of order, imperfect. i get mad when someone doesn't que to the standards, but i don't either. i get mad when someone doesn't understand sarcasm very well but i don't either. why do i get so upset at everyone else's mistakes when i make the same ones? why do i push my insecurities on everyone else? maybe i want them to feel same way. maybe i want them to be like me. you're not like me. you're imperfect. i want to be normal. look normal. act normal. live normal. normal. if i were a barista, i would waste so many cappuccinos. if i were an artist, i would have so many unfinished pieces. if i were a gardener, there would be few flowers i would take out as many imperfections as i can i do the same with people' if you're not perfect enough for me, i'll distance myself. people get mad at me for trying to change them but its all i know to do perfection being the only option given makes the only option i know perfection. will someone still drink their coffee if it not pretty? will i be okay if i paint outside the lines? will my garden be beautiful if there's dull flowers? probably. but i wont find out. i cant change. i have to stay sharp. consumate. flawless. exceptional. perfect.
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Jan 26
Jan 26, 2026 at 10:42 PM UTC
im imperfect
thorns penetrating my soft, innocent skin, vines suffocating me. vines suffocating me this harsh current fighting my every move restricting my individuality. i always find a way to let my words out through my puppets with strings, yet, i cannot make these roses dance. broken and withered away from this winter grip, there is no life in these branches no color, no emotion, no strings for me to weave my way out with. imprisoned, my art has no values. i have no room for my puppets to perform. my passion shortened and smooshed just like my legs that are forcibly intertwined with each other. Get me out of this God **** bush.
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Jan 26
Jan 26, 2026 at 9:44 PM UTC
marionette in a thorn bush