Will I ever be enough
To get full custody of your love
Will my opinion ever matter more
Than those that came before
How much does it take
Before the heart can no longer break
You know all my issues and I've voiced every concern...
Taught you everything about me but it seems you never learn
I can't compare / it isn't fair
Trying to compete / it's killing me
We must have different definitions of inclusion
Times we're supposed to come together I end up
excluded
Broken people do broken things
It's been proven
Or maybe I'm just too broken to be enough for YOU
Apr 5, 2019
Apr 5, 2019 at 1:24 AM UTC
We were off to a rough start.
Your ex, my exes....your kids. Their dad.
Such a complicated situation.
We've invested so much time into creating our own separate life
Why is it so hard to separate pastfromFUTURE?
Some connections are more obligatory than others I agree
Just the same where do we draw the line?
All stubborn exes feel they have a "right" to say and do certain things
But again....we're missing a boundary line somewhere
Maybe it's just me.
shrugs
In order for new things to develop and grow,
old things must be set aside.
There is no room for new beginnings if you're still hoarding habits and emotions from the past.
So here we stand at this first intersection between now and forever
One way is forward, the other goes back.
Which one will you choose?
Apr 5, 2019
Apr 5, 2019 at 1:18 AM UTC
Ridin around
Everything's cool
kids in the back, but the passenger ain't you
We're hanging out
Everybody's having fun
I'll text you back in a minute, as soon as we get done
"Just spending time with the kids"
You said you'd understand
Not being Disrespectful, just following the plan
Her family called
We gotta go there too
. Watchu fussin for? Got this feelin like deja vu
Either you understand or you don't
Either you gon stick it out with me
or you won't
I know you love me
I love you too
. Remember that love while I'm out here doin what I gotta do
Tryina keep things peaceful
Just wanna see the kids happy
But you messin up the flow always gettin mad at me
She's in my car.
She's in my house.
I would let you too but that's not what this is about
There's always a reason.
Backed up by logic
but imagine if things were reversed maybe that'll scare you enough to stop the nonsense
Please understand
Love don't make wrong right
so something's gotta change
if you plan on staying in my life
Feb 3, 2019
Feb 3, 2019 at 2:00 AM UTC
Where do I begin :
First and foremost I must congratulate you on a job well done. The child that you raised is now raising children of her own. She's smart, not just cliché smart but absolutely intelligent. There's so many words I could use to describe how amazing she is in every level of life, but I'll just simply say she's INCOMPARABLE.
Before we even entertained the thought of a relationship, we made sure we were free of any doubts /fears /or emotions from our past. We made sure we were ready for the backlash and the questions that would follow.
We both have had our share of hurt and disappointment in our past. It's my belief that after all those years of suffering, a door was finally opened to escape it all. I believe we reached that door at the same time and decided to walk thru together.
I will never lie or make her cry
I will never disrespect her
I will never put myself in any situation that would ultimately hurt her in any way.
I know there's no way to physically receive your blessing but.....my prayer is that this letter reaches to where you are.
I love your daughter.
Not just physically, not just emotionally...
But from a place that only her and God exist
I love her from my soul........
Jan 31, 2019
Jan 31, 2019 at 12:03 AM UTC
I can't escape.
No matter how hard I try
I'm stuck here
I'm stuck in this.....
..........................cycle
I wanna leave
I wanna be somebody
I want a life of my own
I just want to be free
I'm so tired.
Tired of crying
Tired of hurting
Tired of praying for a change that never comes
So tired.
I just want to LIVE.
Where is this life abundantly they keep preaching about?
Where tf is this joy unspeakable
Where is this overflow that we keep singing about?
Maybe I missed my turn
Where is it?
Where's my life?
Where is the me that everyone thinks I am....
Jan 30, 2019
Jan 30, 2019 at 10:53 PM UTC
Today is my birthday.
No cake. No candies.
No balloons. No gifts.
Today I reflect on the life I've had and the life ahead.
Today is my birthday.
But you wouldn't know it if you came here.
I'm surrounded -and alone
Outside my room I'm the outgoing kid they raised and everything is fine
Inside -----I've been crying since last night
Today is my birthday.
But all I see is the tragic circle of life that I've inherited with no savior in sight.
No, not even Jesus Christ
It's my birthday.....
Jan 30, 2019
Jan 30, 2019 at 10:51 PM UTC
Will I ever be enough
To get full custody of your love
Will my opinion ever matter more
Than those that came before
How much does it take
Before the heart can no longer break
You know all my issues and I've voiced every concern...
Taught you everything about me but it seems you never learn
I can't compare / it isn't fair
Trying to compete / it's killing me
We must have different definitions of inclusion
Times we're supposed to come together I end up
excluded
Broken people do broken things
It's been proven
Or maybe I'm just too broken to be enough for YOU
Jan 30, 2019
Jan 30, 2019 at 10:51 PM UTC
I see myself happy.
Healed from all the pain of the past.
Accepted.
Free.
I see me in a mutually beneficial relationship
A relationship built on love, honor, and commitment
Where trust and loyalty are non-negotiable
Where it's OK to set separate goals as long we reach them TOGETHER
Where the emotions and opinions of others hold no weight
I see us buying a home.
Raising a family.
Starting a few businesses.
Living comfortably.
I see me at peace.
Whole.
Confident.
Balanced.
The problem with virtual reality is that you're wide awake and it's literally right in front of you...
But it's not really there
Wouldn't it be nice....
If the reality of our own virtual mind would finally be released into the world?
Jan 30, 2019
Jan 30, 2019 at 10:50 PM UTC
I'm not stable
Can't do things that I should be able.....to
My heart is in pieces,
One for every person who broke it
My heart is damaged,
From every time it's been unsuccessfully stolen
It keeps raining.
It keeps pouring.
But instead of lettin up
I see some hurricanes forming
I can't see. I need another set of eyes
Someone that will be there
Someone that's for me
Someone who won't tell me no lies
Cuz I need some
Body
Who will always....always be right there
So can you stand the rain?
Can you stand the pain?
Cold nights and the long fights
Wondering if everything will be alright
Feelin like old school rnb
//so tired of being lonely
But what I really need to know
Are you really gonna be the one to stand up for me?
Cuz I'm tired of cryin. And I'm tired of hurtin
Tired of tryina be what everybody else need
Cuz at the end of the day it just ain't workin
I give and give and give until there's nothing left
Poured out so much i didn't even leave any heart for myself
So I'll ask you again, please be true
Will you be there for me like I intend to be there for you
Can you weather the storm?
Do you have tough skin?
Cuz it might be a while before I can completely let you in.
I might say some things, I might do some things that I really don't mean.
I'm in the process of fixing myself and it ain't as easy as it seems
Can you be my lifeline?
Can you be my heartbeat?
Can you be my reason to live, my reason to feel....
Tell me can you help me find ME
Jan 30, 2019
Jan 30, 2019 at 10:49 PM UTC
From the first time I saw you
I knew you were....CELESTIAL
An unattainable reflection of PERFECTION
Beauty from the gods
Intellectual
Conservative
Regal
Ambitious
Everything stability is made of
We both had separate lives
You set the standard
that no one else could match
Other people fantasize and idolize
Actors, models or even athletes
But mine was YOU
Never disrespectful of your situation
I admired who you were and i was content on having someone like you
Never in a million years did I believe things would turn this way
At the lowest part of my life I turn around and there you are.
You're here. WITH me.
Both our lives are being turned inside out.
Everything is changing.
Things we never thought would happen are happening.
Seems like everything around us is
falling
apart.
It took me a while to recognize that all of this is OK
We're rebuilding.
I look at you now and I still see the celestial being wrapped in human perfection with beauty from the gods.
But from this angle.......
I see the benefits from your
intellectual-conservative-regal ambitiousness
And I'm still in awe of it all
Jan 30, 2019
Jan 30, 2019 at 10:48 PM UTC