I’ll miss your tattoos
and the way you part your hair.
I’ll even miss the dumb clothes
you like to wear.
At night I’ll miss
the whisper of words
you say so carelessly.
I’ll miss listening to your heartbeat
as I rest my head upon your chest.
I’ll miss even more the way your
fingers crawl inside of me.
And the faces you make as
I ***
I’ll miss the way you throw me against
the shower walls.
I’ll miss all the things we did
just for fun.
But I speak these words in tears
at night
all alone in my room,
because I won’t ever say out loud that
I miss you
because I want to be
strong.
Aug 8, 2013
Aug 8, 2013 at 9:25 AM UTC
One time I shot your name into my veins because I wanted to feel you enter my bloodstream.
One time I carved your name so hard into my flesh that it hit my brittle bones leaving the mark of “So and so was here"
I wrote your name onto my wall with a sharpie got drunk and punched it so hard that it bled onto my knuckles leaving sharp cuts of your name surrounded with broken bones.
One time I filled my tub so high with water, slipped in, laid my head under water, and whispered your name out as the water filled my lungs and I choked on your name.
I then realized your name was like suicide so I started to forget your name day by day and now you are a face without a name and it hurts less and less each day.
Jul 7, 2013
Jul 7, 2013 at 6:15 PM UTC
If I could I would have a summer bonfire
setting all the painful memories
of everyone whom I slept with.
I would burn every
word they whispered
into my ear
every
sigh
and
every
moan.
I would burn the
way they told me that I
am the most beautiful girl
they got into bed.
I would pour kerosene onto
how they held me
and throw matches
on how they
would stare
into my
eyes.
I would roast every
gift they bought me
thing they made
me, and
things they
found that reminded them
of me.
I would take every piece of me
I gave them
and burn it
to the ground.
Jun 6, 2013
Jun 6, 2013 at 11:50 AM UTC
One day you think you are in love
You talk to this person about
Marriage
kids
housing
and being together forever.
Then suddenly you two
part
and later you are actually looking
at apartments with
someone you aren't even with
isn't it funny how things
fall apart
for other things
to work out.
You weren't ready
to be on your
own,
but I
was.
Jun 1, 2013
Jun 1, 2013 at 12:54 AM UTC
She had a necklace that was placed
so gently above her collar bones.
The necklace held the letter "N"
I thought I had more time to be able
to ask her what it meant.
She's long gone now
and it remains a mystery.
**** her for not
having the answer
written on her skin.
May 31, 2013
May 31, 2013 at 11:17 PM UTC
I was 15 years old with trails
of white powder dripping from my nose.
I was 16 and never saw a sober day of my life,
I hid behind bottles of whiskey and ***
bags of molly, and vials of kitty.
I was 17 and growing tired
of this life.
I was 17 and knew this
wasn’t who I was meant to be.
I was 17 with friends and
a pact to move to California and make
something of ourselves. I was 18
and kicked out of my mothers house.
I was 18 and living with a best friend.
I was 18 and found out they
were doing ****** and ****
I was 18 and sick of
all the lies so I left.
I moved to Socal where
I surfed couch to couch till I
climbed my way to the Bay area.
I was 19 and lost.
I was 19 and went on a 2 month
road trip with my best friend and a guy who tried to ****** me.
I was 19 and
looking for myself. I made it
to New Orleans and back with only losing myself
more. I was 19 and fell in love
for the first time. I was
20 and met a boy whom I never
sought out to show me how to change myself until he broke my heart for
the very first time. I was
20 years old and let him enter my
tunnel heart like the yellowbird he is.
He made it out alive but for a second I didn’t think I would.
I did. I was 20 and
finding myself. I was 20 and getting myself
together after a broken heart.
I was 20 and I found myself for the first time.
I was 20 and no longer wanted death for my birthday
I am now 21 and fearless.
May 28, 2013
May 28, 2013 at 9:39 PM UTC
Girls like me
like to leave scars
on the people we touch
as to show anyone who
comes after that we were
there and we will always
be there.
May 28, 2013
May 28, 2013 at 9:38 PM UTC
My favorite time of day is when
I am just waking up with an empty stomach
and collar bones that are shallow enough to float a boat.
That could be the tiny monster that still lives in me
thinking but it’s the time of day
that I feel most beautiful.
May 28, 2013
May 28, 2013 at 9:37 PM UTC
I wiped your
words off my walls
and they smeared…
Just like the times
you said them.
May 28, 2013
May 28, 2013 at 9:33 PM UTC