a never ending cycle of love and hurt
-you hurt me but i love you
Aug 16, 2020
Aug 16, 2020 at 11:04 PM UTC
In a room full of people; I still feel lonely.
No matter where i am; I feel lonely.
Your arms was my safe place.. and now they are a vacant space, being filled with temporary guests.
There is no more us, and I cannot accept that.
My treacherous memories sneak up on me; preventing my wounded heart to heal.
I continue to beg when I know it won’t change.
My body craves your touch; almost like an addiction.
My desolate heart weeps, hoping you come home.
Aug 7, 2018
Aug 7, 2018 at 3:40 AM UTC
To not be with the person you are in love with is one of the many things i struggle with daily.
To watch them be happy and content with a life that doesn’t involve me hurts.
To see them treat other girls the way i begged to be treated.
To be okay with the thought of not being with you.
How is it possible? How does it work?
I’m left here with questions unanswered and my thoughts flooding with memories.
Every word you spoke to me.
It drowns me and I can’t breathe.
The memories suffocate me until it’s **** near impossible to see.
I don’t understand it.
Aug 7, 2018
Aug 7, 2018 at 1:53 AM UTC
as time progresses my heart slowly heals
it’s been awhile since i felt real
the raw emotions pour out
i’m happy just about
sadness slowly leaves my brain
as the sun shines with no more rain
you made my life ****
but he came just like luck
making memories i’ll forever keep
my soul no longer weeps
life is so strange
i’m scared of change
but for once i’m going through with eyes open
the past no longer pains to be spoken
for once i’m not writing in my darkest hour
this trauma has given me so much power
i have no more time to spare for the past
and i pray the happiness lasts
i’ve chosen you over me for so long
thought of you with every song
but there will be no more
as my heart is no longer sore
i’ve been released from the chains
the relationship almost made me insane
i choose happiness over this
and it’s made life feel like a bliss.
Jul 27, 2018
Jul 27, 2018 at 1:33 PM UTC
I wish I could forget it all.
Take everything back and never fall.
But you gave me so much without even knowing.
All those times you kept me warm when it was snowing.
You are my world and my rock.
You’d do anything for me around the clock.
But you couldn’t get past the hurt.
You shut me out and treated me like dirt.
I love you and i always will.
But my body aches and is always chill.
I feel so suffocated and broken.
But these words never to be spoken.
I take it back I want you.
Please say you do too.
It’s not suppose to be like this you see.
It was always suppose to be.
We can work this out.
I won’t even pout.
Time and patience i’m willing to give it.
Please don’t quit.
Im in pain can’t you see?
It hurts stop doing this to me.
I want you and my heart aches.
You don’t want me and it breaks.
Jul 25, 2018
Jul 25, 2018 at 2:38 PM UTC
My chest is heavy and my heart cracks
you say you’re here, but the love lacks
i try my best to make you happy
even when you treat me ******
i love you and always will
but it’s like our love is on a window sill
just ready to jump and end
my heart doesn’t want to mend
my stomach is in a wry
my eyes continue to cry
can’t you see
what you’re doing to me?
i am not enough for you
and i don’t think i could ever be too
poetry is the only way to get it out
as i come to you and pout
please love me i beg
this hurts worse than two broken legs
physical pain can heal and stop
but this pain is at the very top
May 30, 2018
May 30, 2018 at 12:38 AM UTC
you left me.
it hurts but it’s not the worst part.
i knew you were gonna leave.
the worst part is not bringing myself to tell people
that you are gone.
i’m reminded of you everywhere.
whether it’s places we’ve gone to
or someone asking me about you.
i can’t get away.
it’s eating me alive and i don’t know how much more i can take
you are my best friend.
i told you i wanted to spend my life with you.
but you told me it wasn’t mutual.
why don’t you love me.
why am i not enough for you.
i want to tell you all this
but all i do is cry.
i beg for you to be with me
you’re the only happiness i have.
you’re like a drug and i need it.
i need you.
i’m withdrawing and i can’t bare it.
our last kiss burns in the back of my throat
i can’t see straight.
i can’t stand up.
i’m so weak.
please love me.
come back.
i beg
May 29, 2018
May 29, 2018 at 3:17 PM UTC
I didn’t do anything
But I still apologized
You were messing around
And I apologized for not being there for you
I went through your phone and you screamed at me I apologized for being curious
i’m tired of apologizing for things I did not do.
May 6, 2018
May 6, 2018 at 9:04 AM UTC
Just because you do not like me
doesn’t mean i shouldn’t like myself
just because you don’t want me
doesn’t mean i shouldn’t want myself
just because you don’t love me
doesn’t mean i shouldn’t love myself
if i decided to perceive myself as others did
there would be nothing of me to cherish
but because no one is willing to appreciate me
i will have to appreciate me first
Apr 28, 2018
Apr 28, 2018 at 9:22 AM UTC
as i write this
i’m sitting on the bathroom floor
repeating every memory
every word.
i’m hyperventilating
my chest is so heavy.
stay please i beg you
i love you so much please stay.
the pain is almost unbearable
my heart is completely ripped out.
i don’t understand it
i’m so in love with you
please stay.
Apr 15, 2018
Apr 15, 2018 at 10:48 PM UTC